I have been with my partner for over 6 years now. The entire time I have known her it’s been a long distance relationship, over two hours apart from each other (we both class that as long distance). We only see each other on weekends, not during the week. She is an amazing woman, and I care about her so much. However, I am not happy with her. She looks after me, cares and loves me, wants to be with me but I just don’t feel anything anymore. All her family lives abroad and she only has a few friends within the country. She lets me know I am the only person she has here, her only family but I feel trapped. If she had family here and lots of friends I would have probably ended the relationship a year or so ago. I just can’t bring myself to hurt her like that, I care about her too much.
She always wants to do things, which is fine, but I’d rather be at home relaxing. I love to go and exercise, do MMA, Snooker etc. she hates all of those things. We don’t have really any common interests and I can’t picture myself with her in the future.
She wants to move in together but our jobs are too far apart to financially make this viable, and in some ways I am really thankful for this. I dread going to see her on weekends where I used to be so excited for it, but now it feels like a chore. Something that takes up a chunk of my week but needs to be done.
It reached a climax 3 weeks ago where I felt so trapped I tried to kill myself. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I wanted out, without having to see myself hurt her. I don’t know how to or if I can let go. I feel so trapped I don’t know what to do.
Writing this, it feels like my final call for help, I don’t know what to do.