I have a history with disordered eating. My husband recently has become very healthy in terms of food choices. He started only eating one meal a day about a year ago. He now wants to give up refined sugar completely (no dessert, no fruit, no bread, no pasta) and only eat whole grains, protein, and vegetables. He wants us to optimize our health and set similar rules for our young children.

I thought I had finally reached a point where I am comfortable with my own food choices and enjoying things in moderation. While I do sometimes overindulge with dessert, I no longer binge or hide food or other bad habits. The recent conversations around food have been extremely triggering. We are constantly talking about food and I am constantly feeling guilty about my choices and what I am doing to our children. I feel like a failure that I am not able to give up sugar, or more accurately that I do not want to give up sugar. I am extremely angry with my husband and resentful that he is harping on this topic every time we have a second to talk.

While I agree somewhat with him about reducing our sugar intake, I feel he is too extreme. I am super depressed that we have so little in common around food. One of my hobbies is baking and the fact that I can no longer do that for my family to enjoy is also super depressing and another source of resentment. My husband insists I need to just stop eating emotionally and we will be in alignment.

If it was just the two of us, I would be able to do my own thing but we are struggling to be consistent with our children. How do we move forward?