I hosted my friends at my place for a week and they came empty handed which in my Eastern European culture is unacceptable. (Also, my birthday was not long ago.) My friends are from a different culture. They American. We all live in the United States. Is it culturally normal in America not to bring a gift or flower for the host or hosts?
Prior to their visit, my friends told me they would buy their own groceries but they didn’t. I provided meals and didn’t say anything to them about it. We went to restaurants a couple of times but they didn’t offer to pay for me even once. My European friends offer to pay for me when they stay with me. One of them remarked that she is saving a lot of money not having to pay for a hotel so she can buy me a nicer gift and treat me to dinner and it makes her happier to spend her money this way. It made me feel more loved.
My American friends visit me every year and do the same thing - do not reciprocate. I know I may be looking at it all through the lens of my culture and I still can’t help it that I feel used. I feel like they want to come on vacation to a nice city and save on it as much as possible more than seeing me because otherwise they would show me more love.
On a final note, we all have full-time jobs and school loans to pay but some of my friends live with their parents to save money. I don’t have that option. My parents are not supporting me financially in any way.
Dear Americans and dear Europeans, how do you view this situation?
Update: Thank you for the comments! There are so many I can’t reply to every single one of them but I appreciate them all. It means a lot to me.