I know it’s an uncomfortable topic and title but alas this is becoming a big issue for me. We have been together for a few years now and lived together for the past year. I also have been transitioning and on testosterone for a year now. That itself has been a big influence on sex as puberty makes you go a bit feral. We have great sex and a decent amount of it. It comes down to moments where I want to get off and she is either not interested or not feeling that in the moment and wanting me to wait until later. I respect her boundaries, but in the moment I would rather just get myself off if she is not in that mood. Problem is she won’t allow me to do that and gets really worked up when I bring it up. She is very uncomfortable around it (mostly some baggage from her ex not having sex with her often, too much porn etc.) and won’t even allow me to do it in the other room. I can only do it when she is not home, which is not often as we have almost the same work schedule. It would give me anxiety to try to rush home and do it just for her to come home during and get upset. Plus it’s not something that can really be planned! I feel weird, we just argue whenever we talk about it and I’m not sure what to do as we can’t seem to find a middle ground. Might sound dumb but I feel like I’m losing a sense of my self being in a changing body and not really being able to explore it alone. I don’t know anyone else who has gone through this situation either. Am I just overly sexual and not being considerate? Or is this something that is unhealthy in a relationship regardless of feelings?