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My girlfriend (18F) told me that I (19M) should off myself for liking celebrities’s posts
Never be in a relationship with a person who tells you to die.
if you love someone, you want them to be well even if you're angry. i can be furious with my wife but still ask her if she is hungry.
wishing death upon anyone is despicable. on a loved one? this is next level insanity. and her further actions about her cheating to "save" the relationship? her ex being better? this person is so incredibly toxic, OP didn't dodge a bullet but a cruise missile.
OP: you DO NOT want to get back together with someone like that. you deserve much much better.
Lolol I felt this. 😂 I've literally been in arguments with my girl where she storms out of the house, and I angrily scream "DON'T DIE, CALL ME IF YOU NEED SOMETHING!!! 😡😡".
i made her into this vile person from the sweet loving girl she was and i’ll do everything i can to regain her trust and love again.
Oh buddy, this girl really has you messed up. None of this is your fault, you're being manipulated. Take it from an old guy, people don't change on a whim out of nowhere. She always had the capacity to be vile, you're just seeing it for the first time.
what? no. you did not make her into anything. she successfully fooled you by playing the sweet loving girl. once there are issues in a relationship, that's when people start to show their true colors. this isn't even a big issue and she is telling you to die? she showed you that she isn't at all who you thought her to be. she showed you that instead of having your back and trying to fix things, she will insult and abandon you at the first sign of trouble. you are young, you will still come across many girls and a lot of them are actually sweet and loving, not just pretending to be. you cannot change her. if she wants to change you can help her, but it has to come from her. as it isn't, try your best to move on. it sounds terribly difficult but one day at a time and suddenly it will start to hurt less. value yourself properly, you deserve better than her.
lol short and sweet and to the point. 👍
Never be friends with someone who tells you to die. Let alone in a relationship.
Michelle Carter Vibes BIG TIME.
(She is the girl who was charged with forcing her boyfriend to commit suicide, her actual last word ls to him were "I love you, now die"
how is this not the highest voted comment on this post.
Anyone that would actively wish death on you is not someone you should spend any time with at all. In fact, it's someone you should actively choose to avoid.
Advice I didn't think I'd see or need to be said.
Yes but also this is a made up ChatGPT story
Especially since she will pull this stunt over and over!
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1.0y
People are weird in other countries
Sheesh, soooo racist.
What? That other ways of socializing are strange in other countries compared to the us? That some things they say mean something completely different than what we would say? Didn’t know that was racist 🤣🤣y’all Fr wanna be out here choosing only what you would to like see and nothing else. Turning it into something it isn’t all the time. Guess that’s what happens when you spend too much time on the internet and crave needless drama
Wait. Did you say you created a FORTY PAGE presentation???? To appease her?
Y tho?
Seriously, why? You’re 19. She’s 18. This is some high drama scary shit. Your girl has gone off her rocker. She’s deathly insecure and neurotic. You’re looking at a future filled with her controlling you. She’s already doing it by telling you she’s going to get together with someone else and cheat on you - essentially in “retaliation” for liking a celebrity’s posts. Big whoop. Those are not the same things at all. You have yourself all spun up and feeling sick because of the manipulative and cruel things this girl has said to you. She is clearly playing games. This is not somebody who loves and cares for you. This is not a relationship based on mutual love and respect. How much longer are you willing to remain stuck? What will you have to bow and scrape for next?
Run while you can, OP. This will end badly otherwise. Most of us recommending that have been in your shoes, or a similar pair. We want you to avoid the same mistakes and pain we experienced. There are so many people in the world. I choose to believe there’s a kind and loving woman out there for you. I hope you find her.
I think OP might need to do some kind of self reflection and I'm not entirely sure of what sort. Creating a 40 page presentation is astonishing and not normal. Definitely leave the gf because this is not a solvable issue and certain comments are grounds for immediate ending of a relationship. But, in the future, it may be best to not write novels and prepare presentations because it comes off as quite obsessive, and indicates OP will generally be a doormat probably
someone i was friends with wrote a 24 page short story all about me for a school assignment. with my name in it. after i rejected him… not friends with him anymore cuz it was kinda creepy, but yeah, writing 40 pages is way too much dude. not in your same situation, but don’t make her your whole world.
To be clear, the title say she told you to off yourself, i.e., commit suicide, but that’s not in the post. Did she say that?
Her reaction seems hugely out of proportion to what you reported doing. You are teenagers who have been dating for a short time, and this level of drama — her hatred, your begging for forgiveness — is too much. Take some time away from each other, see if tempers cool down.
yes, she did
Then I change my advice: do not stay with her. That is so disturbing. You bruised her ego a little and she jumped to a very ugly, dangerous place. Don’t subject yourself to this any longer.
yes, she did
Then you break things off - and ideally, you should've broken things off the instant she said that. Why would you stick around someone who told you to kill yourself?
Friend, she is not worth one more day of your time or energy.
Send this text and block her:
"You told me to off myself because I clicked on a celebrity image - that is unhinged. I don't know what the heck is wrong with you, but get help and stay away from me. This ... whatever it is... is over."
Life is too short for that kind of drama. She will make your life a little bit worse every day you spend with her.
Yes!! It's like she went looking for a reason to start emotionally abusing him
Leave her. There is nothing that could ever justify telling someone to kill themselves. She is not the girl for you or anyone. She has a lot of growing up and introspection to do.
Mate she just showed you she's verbally abusive. Don't stay with her.
No one who ever tells you that should be given respect or any part of your life. She is extremely immature and has resorted to emotional abuse to get her way and is not ready for a serious relationship with anyone. Please talk to a counselor or a trusted adult about how communication should work within a relationship and how boundaries should be set for the health and wellbeing of everyone involved.
That would be an instant dealbreaker for me.
she sounds manipulative and borderline abusive
I don't think double tapping on celebrities photos is cheating, nor do I think it should give your supposed girlfriend an excuse to actually cheat herself. It sounds like she's looking for "reasons" to be a shitty person.
Or just is one in general
Yeah, she's having a hysterical overreaction. To me it sounds like she wants to stir up drama and was just looking for something, anything, she could get offended about.
Acting like clicking "like" on a celebrity's pic is the same thing as actually kissing or cheating with an irl person is absolutely insane.
OP I don't think your gf can be reassured, because she doesn't want to be; she wants drama and wants to act like she's been emotionally injured (she hasn't) or like she has the right to demand groveling and apologies (she doesn't).
I wouldn't continue a relationship with someone like that personally, if they blow up like this over stuff everyone does
I agree
My man... This is not the girl for you, and you can be thankful for that.
You have done nothing wrong. Nothing to warrant her reaction. And with her saying she wants to even things up by cheating? That's not even remotely comparable. I'm willing to bet she's already made plans to hook up with this ex of hers.
Walk away. You'll find much better, I have no doubt.
She’s not the girl for anyone, never mind OP.
One of my pet peeves is when people say "you're incompatible" instead of "the person you're dating is abusive, insane fucking trash". It's telling the wrong story.
Yeah this is her excuse to cheat. Pretty lame. OP move on this is craziness
Feels like one of those already cheated and projecting scenarios.
Your gf sounds crazy and needs help. How does kissing someone at a wedding or party equate to liking a celebrities posts. She must be very insecure and please if you take one thing away from my reply let it be this "don't make yourself look desperate and weak by making a presentation to appease a woman".
Yeah heading into bunny boiler territory for sure.
Nice fatal attraction reference. 👍
She’s batshit and y’all should break up. In the future, don’t lie to partners and say absurd shit like she’s the only girl you find pretty.
Friend - I can appreciate that you are young so you don't realize how insane she is being. But you need to take off the rose colored glasses because these are some BRIGHT RED flags.
If she had an issue with you liking those photos, she should have just told you that it makes her uncomfortable because you would have stopped, I have no doubt. However, she took it 50 steps further and is now emotionally manipulating the hell out of you, convincing you that you are a BAD BAD person. Her threatening to cheat, telling you her ex was better, contacting her ex ALL in an effort to get "even" is not the kind of relationship you want. It's not healthy, this is not worth fixing. You are not a bad person.
Relationships are not about keeping score/getting even. If that is even a THOUGHT it is not a true partnership because partners work TOGETHER to solve problems, they do not keep score or seek revenge individually to equal things out.
I genuinely think that this is happened more than once in this relationship. I only say that because I was in a relationship similar to this. Not with the weird aggression but with the Instagram post stuff. I have done adult stuff once upon a time when I was struggling in life and it has changed my mind on a whole lot of things. One of those things being if you have to scroll through the Internet and stare at other women that are wearing barely any clothing that you are not into me. I don’t care if they are celebrity, a model, idek. It’s disrespectful and I will never deal with it. I had told this man multiple times I wanted him to get rid of them, and it literally took me screaming at him to get out of my house that I never want to see his face again. He needs to have all of his stuff out in less than a week. I’m blocking him on everything. It took seven times for all of it to stop. I am still with him and things are different now, but I am saying that as I definitely don’t think this is the first time. I’m pretty sure she has asked him multiple times and he just doesn’t want to say that because then he knows that at least he is partially in the wrong for her being even a little upset. She shouldn’t have told him to off himself, but they are from a different country and things are weird in other countries.
Edit: y’all are disturbing. If somebody literally crossed one of your boundaries you wouldn’t be okay with it. Let me remind everybody on the internet that your boundaries aren’t somebody else’s boundaries. If y’all wanna scroll through the internet looking at adult models with your so then good for you. Not me. That’s okay. You people seriously need to grow up and get fucking therapy.
Lol you need to grow up. Admitting you emotionally manipulated your partner on reddit is definitely an interesting flex though.
You people are crazy. The fact that literally somebody isn’t okay with their partner going on instagram and liking and saving a bunch of women’s photos with thong bikinis and what not is okay. It’s disrespectful to me. I told him to get tf out. I will not date a man that literally has to go online searching for something else to look at. I will not do it. I am dating you. We are in a relationship. I am not out looking and searching for other men to stare at on the daily. If I don’t want my so to follow or look at that shit then it’s as simple as they get rid of it or they get kicked to the curb. That’s my boundary in a relationship. Not yours. It’s mine.
OK, then break up with him. Don't scream and yell and try to change his behavior because of your difference in boundary. That's why you need to grow up. Because regardless of what you might think, relatively unreasonable hard boundaries like this are unrecoverable if he disagrees with you. It will build resentment, and he's most likely still doing it anyway now he's just better at hiding it from you.
We are together now. Stuff isn’t the same as it was before. He is a completely different person. Not something that I’ve just noticed but everybody has noticed. People have asked why he is happier. They have complimented him saying he is so respectful compared to before. This wasn’t just that. It was a lot of things. The relationship worked out. He is more responsible now. Things seriously changed. They did. I’m not gonna sit here and argue with you when you know nothing about the history of this relationship. I didn’t come here for advice. I don’t need you to sit here and tell me how I am and how our relationship is or was. That isn’t your place because you do not know me. Now if I came on here asking for advice it’s be different but I didn’t.
I feel as though you’re wearing rose tinted glasses here. This doesn’t sound like a relationship filled with love and understanding, it sounds abusive and hurtful.
Maybe you crossed a boundary by liking a celebrities photos, but telling you to off yourself, saying that she will cheat on you and also arranging to meet up with a previous partner as a result of your actions, are massively over the top and deliberate to cause you as much emotional hurt as possible.
She is someone you should cut out of your life asap. She is very, very toxic and will only cause you more pain.
Literally she's pulling the worst of the worst out to try and gut him. Trying to destroy him.
Dude. I know you're young, but c'mon. NONE of this is normal. First of all there's no way that she's the only girl you find pretty in the whole world, and making a presentation on what you'll do to fix the situation..wtf. All of her behavior is immature, insecure, petty, and manipulative.
Please go to www.loveisrespect.org and do some reading. What your girlfriend is doing is severe emotional abuse. If things were perfect up til now, she was probably love bombing you. There may have been signs that you missed. Now that you've been together for a while she's exerting control and manipulation, which is typical of abusers. Check out the cycle of abuse.
Please forgive my bluntness...there is a reason why you want to be with someone with this level of drama. I'd really look into that. Be single for a while so you can identify and avoid abusers. Also, as you get older, you'll find fewer people who are this unhinged. This is not normal.
She clearly cannot regulate her emotions. If she hasn't yet gotten into therapy, it's a great thing for her to do. I think she might benefit from some specific treatment like CBT. It helped me a lot.
You don't deserve abuse. You deserve a healthy relationship. I hope you will take everyone's advice into account, even if you seem to not be responding. Take care of you! 💙
That is one of the biggest overreactions I have ever seen. That girl is crazy and you should get away from her as quickly as possible. Normal women wouldn't even care if their boyfriends liked a few celebrity posts, much less go over the deep end like that.
Exactly. She's batshit crazy. She's the kind to freak out over him watching a movie with a sex scene.
OP you're only 19. She's not the end all be all of everything. There are much better women out there who don't care if you like a celebrity's post.
I like celebrity's posts all the time. My husband doesn't care at all. It's not cheating. Block her everywhere and move on. Don't answer the door if she shows up. Do NOT take her back. She will destroy your life.
I don’t think this is the first time. They are from a different country so she shouldn’t have said what she said, but things are different and things are different in other countries. Personally, I have done adult stuff once upon a time. I don’t care if it’s a model or a celebrity. If they are half naked on the Internet and you are intentionally saving those half naked pictures then you have zero respect for me on the face of this earth and you need to get out. But I have been in this situation with the Instagram thing once upon a time. It took me multiple times before I hit my breaking point and said you can get out and pack your bags and I never wanna see you or talk to you or anything ever again. Don’t contact me. Don’t even breathe the same air that I am breathing in public if we are in the same area. There are no excuses for what she said, but I think he is telling little white lies throughout the story to make himself look better if it’s even real.
we’re not from another country lol we’re literally in texas 💀
You should not "off" but "out". Out of this relationship. She sounds like a psycho.
I hate those people who always advocate for breaking up.
But come on, just be happy you got out of this mess before it escalated? Can you imagine a life with someone this unhinged?
She sounds crazy and you seem desperate.sorry
He is just 19 what and just a kid , what do you expect of him ?
Find a new gf
You deserve better.
You dodged a massive bullet. Block her everywhere and find someone else. Statistics say you will find a much better person.
Get away from this girl. Save yourself years of pain in the future.
Sweetheart, you are too young for this kind of drama. So you liked some celebrities. If she's so insecure that she's using that as an excuse to cheat, she's not worth your time. And telling you to "off" yourself because of it? This girl is just too toxic. Cut her loose and find someone who really loves you. You deserve better.
Listen, you are 19, you've got the rest of your life to live. And to be frank here, she is using your own insecurities to cheat. And leave you hanging. She is completely and utterly gas lighting you. Liking anyone's post, whether a celebrity or not is small beans in the scheme of things.
You do not want, nor do you need to have a relationship or person in your life.who tells you to commit suicide. That is wrong on so many levels. Anyone who says this to anyone is an awful and shitty person. If she valued your relationship she would have worked through this with you, not go out and try to do something to ruin your relationship further.
Go find someone who really cares about you, who will cheer you on and be a supportive partner.
Dude, your gf is giving you all the signs to end your relationship.
You LIKED a Celebrities' post and she's basically going Nuclear and AWOL and intending to cheat on you in very real ways just to 'make up' for the teeniest little thing?
She probably has already been cheating or at the very least has been wanting to do this for a while and has found a reason. What happens if you don't go to the same colleges and God forbid you meet a female being in public without her consent, or what about when you're eventually working and you have to interact with women b/c it in ur job description.
She is giving you writing in blood on the wall OP, I suggest you run instead of wondering if it's ketchup
I really like your last sentence. May I use it in the future?
Lol, sure, feel free to
That's some story. Walk away.
What in "fuck no" is this?
Don't put up with the abuse.
I know you may not want to hear this but her reaction isn’t normal. I understand she may not want you liking bikini pictures but to call it cheating and insist that she must cheat back is nonsense. You are young, there will be another girl who makes much more sense than this one.
I understand how much this hurts you, it’s her goal to hurt you and make you feel horrible. You should also block her and if you aren’t somehow considered broken up, break up. This is psychotic insecurity and manipulation. How is liking a post or saving it, comparable to literally kissing someone? You’re young and you should absolutely save yourself the torment of pursuing her.
Am I the only one who feels like a big chunk isn’t adding up- her blocking you was obviously her breaking up with you- her reaction for what you described doing seems overboard… but it sounds like you did more then that. Idk if you can honestly admit that’s all you did, drop her. But what she said makes it sound like this has been a recurring issue mixed with other things
Never speak to her again for any reason and seek counseling. You tried WAY too hard to get a horrible person back. It’s okay to be alone.
Imagine needing to beg someone's forgiveness for liking photos.
You don't need this chick or her shit.
Also, a forty page presentation? You got me fucked up lol ain't no 18 year old worth that.
mannn why’d you save the photos 😅 that’s the thing i’m stuck on
Turns out your internet girlfriend isn’t the person you thought she was. Take the L, do some reflection on how you are getting to know people, and learn some lessons.
She’s not my internet girlfriend, we are dating irl
I think you meant “were” rather than “are,” and I’d keep it that way. You seem like a decent person, and I assure you that you can do a whole lot better than this sort of emotionally-abusive relationship (although, frankly, I wouldn’t be thinking of finding a lifetime relationship at your age anyway).
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Please walk away from this girl. She is emotionally manipulating you and it is absolutely never okay to tell someone to “off” themselves. She is not okay. Please break up with her. Reach out to any family and friends for support. She is not the one for you. She needs therapy and needs to grow up. She is clearly too emotionally young for a serious relationship.
She’s already basically broken up with you, and there’s nothing to be gained from fighting it. Move on and find someone less unhinged.
Dude Leave her. She thinks "getting even" (I'm using this very lightly because what you did doesn't even compare to what she wants to do) will fix this which it won't. It's very clear that her insecurities make her too unhinged to actually form a safe and meaningful relationship. This is just gonna end up in flames at the end if you allow this to go on.
Your girlfriend is a child. She’s a very young for her age teenager. She shouldn’t be dating because she doesn’t know how to.
Immediately break up with that f*cking lunatic tf. Wtf is wrong with this woman.
Just leave this relation, i'm married and my wife still like some handsome celebritie boy on facebooks stories.
And some time we show each other in street ppl who so beautifull and we agree each other... none of us cheated or have any plan to cheat...
My wife and i know each other well and we know around us there is more beautifull ppl around, but no other look sexy as us together in our eyes !
Plus she completly evil with you, find someone who love you and not have crazy insecurities
My dude, DO NOT stick it in the crazies. She used you liking some random actors photo to literally cheat on you and tell you to kill yourself. Be grateful you dodged that nuclear bomb.
New girlfriend please - this one turned nasty and mean.
Then again dude - 40 page presentation? You both need to grow up an incredible amount!
Then try looking for a person with real life expectations, not the happily,ever after Hallmark version of life.
Run! If she can’t handle that without telling you to take your own life, imagine what a real fight will be like
Run. Just run.
Honey! Leave that girl. No sane person would say something like that to a loved one for such a trivial thing.
Oh, no! You liked some photos of famous people? The end of the world! My husband would divorce me because I follow Ryan Reynolds on Instagram!!
She is such a toxic manipulative person, leave her yesterday and don't look back. It would hurt a little but I promise you, you'll be okay and find someone who deserves your love. You are young, with a life ahead. Don't waste your time on someone like her, you deserve so much better!
Your (ex-)gf is a Grade-A nutcase. If I were you, I’d make sure she keeps that (ex-) status.
Throw those 48 pages expressing your affection in the trash, hun. She told you to die. There's no going back from that. Dump her and find someone better, she sounds incredibly toxic
You're much better off without her. Imho your relationship was unhealthy, it's perfectly normal and natural to appreciate other people, cheating is if you engage with them in an emotional or physical relationship. Not liking a post or saving it.
19 is old enough to KNOW SHE'S FREAKING TRASH. Come on young man
Dude, you liked a couple of posts for actresses you like. That’s not cheating and in no way requires you to grovel and plead. Your girlfriend is being absolutely ridiculous, immature and worst of all viscous to you and revealing to you a very unbecoming side of herself you would do well not to ignore. She is enjoying the power she has right now and is using it to punish and torture you.
Call her bluff. Tell her if a part of her will always hate you then it’s best you part ways. She will either agree, or she will have a screaming hysterical fit precisely because you have called her bluff and made clear you aren’t going to chase her any further.
If that happens, tell her you are done apologizing for such a minor thing and she either agrees to let it go or you need to break up.
Oh I'm sorry, cry me a river. You didn't do anything wrong. She's manipulating you. Your post makes me so angry with the way you speak about yourself. Expect better treatment. DEMAND better treatment. Reread what you wrote. She's not mature enough for a real relationship. Not sure you are either with the way you dog yourself.
Never take your self worth from another person. She's got you dancing like a monkey. Leave the circus
This girl has way bigger issues at had, no amount of desperation is worth this my dude. Speaking as a woman who has both been the red flag in the past, and dated the guys with the red flags... this girl is just 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Punch out now, save yourself the heartache. The pain is temporary.
Dude just walk away she isn’t worth it, and next time just don’t like celebrities posts
A future with her sounds like an absolute nightmare. Do you like how you feel currently? Because this would be a typical Tuesday if you stayed with her. Consider yourself lucky that she showed her true colors this early on, and move on to find someone who's mature and wouldn't ever encourage you to kill yourself.
My girlfriend (18F) told me that I (19M) should off myself
I'm sorry but I don't really need to read the rest. She's trash just by saying this. Move on dude.
Stop being a doormat. She is extremely toxic, manipulative, and unreasonable. Dump her and don’t look back. You’re worth more. You don’t need someone who will treat you like this for no reason.
She sounds terrible and VERY manipulative.
get a new Girlfriend. Onethats actually nice and likes you.
OP, you're a doormat.
Despite my efforts to make amends, my girlfriend remains unyielding. She has blocked me on all social media platforms and severed all forms of communication.
She is not YOUR girlfriend anymore.
I genuinely acknowledge my mistake
You clicked 'LIKE' on a celebrities post. That's all.
saying she hates me, no longer loves me, and that her ex was better.
I thought she "severed all forms of communication"? Anyway, blessing in disguise.
I'm currently at a loss for what to do
You block her and move on with your life. And don't forget to appreciate that you cut out the drama.
i wrote her a 8 page written letter read it to her and we were fine afterwards for the night then after that things started getting worse, i made her a 40 page presentation doing everything to assure her. i acknowledge what i did was wrong and i’ll be the partner that deserves her love, but i need to assure her when she tells me “i don’t think it will be the same again”. i’m desperate.
For fuck's sake......You're not only a doormat, you're also an idiot and your girlfriend is a shitty person trying to take advantage of that.
Reading the title only.
Break up.
You haven't done anything wrong!
Just let her go.
No offense but please regrow your backbone and realize that this is an extremely toxic relationship and just end it
Your girlfriend is deadly insecure and immature. I am sorry but she doesn't sound like a person you should be in a relationship with. Liking celebrity pictures is normal and it was such a massive overreaction on her part.
Bruv break up with her she sounds toxic
You broke up right?
Your girlfriend is abusive. Run far away from this relationship for the love of God.
Wtf? Okay so I'm also an eighteen year old girl and her response seems ridiculously over the top and even kinda toxic.
Sure, I'd be upset if my partner saves photos of another woman, but then I'd act like a grown up and have a conversation about it, instead of all of this bs. Normal people don't start threatening to kiss their exes over their partner saving a photo of someone. Sure, maybe it was a boundary of hers. But her reaction was over the top of toxic, and I wouldn't know where to go from there.
So you end the relationship.
And as a parting shot tell her that if you ever do end yourself, you will make sure to do it in front of her.
You are being way too intense, especially for a girl who was incredibly cruel to you. You are letting this consume you. Consider LETTING her break up with you and taking some time to get to know yourself again. You're so young.
What you do is RUN. This girl is nuts and you're looking at a very unhappy life with her.
I'm going to start by saying that I've been with my husband since I was 18 and he was 19. We're celebrating 25 years together this year. I'm saying this so you know I'm not anti teenage relationships or thinking this isn't serious.
That over with.... RUN. Run because she told you to kill yourself (probably the worst thing someone in a relationship can do). Run because you are not allowed to find other people attractive or click like on female celebrities' profiles. Run because you feel you have to write 8 page letters and 40 page PowerPoints to earn her forgiveness. Run because her reaction to you clicking like on a profile is to arrange a date with her ex boyfriend. Run because she uses phrases like "create a sense of equality and healing" to manipulate you. Run because she tells you you've destroyed her love forever while remaining in a relationship with you.
This is someone who is an abuser. Do not stay in abusive relationships. Confide in someone you trust and get support to get away.
OP from your comments it almost seems like you're also not hearing what you want to hear. You want people to reassure you this relationship is salvageable but it is not if what you have stated was all true. You liking a post is not cheating and does not warrant emotional distress, a presentation and a 40 page essay on how you'll make her feel better and secure her??? You're very young and still figuring out who you are yourself, don't get lost in another person who's toying with your feelings to kake themselves feel better about themselves. She's clearly finding excuses to cheat, I've seen women like this, I've even dated guys like this. They'll make you feel special and then tear you apart its an emotional roller coaster and it's up to you to stay on the ride or get off while you can. She's using this one thing that many women get jealous over because they're insecure as her excuse for cheating. She clearly isn't committed to you. No one's actions are am excuse for more shitty actions. Two wrongs do not make a right!!
Dude, you are young and she is not the one. Any partner willing to tell you to harm yourself in any way is not a healthy person to have in yoir life. Moreover, it isn't love.
Dude you never did anything wrong to BEGIN WITH
Does she go batshit crazy when you watch movies and there's a female celebrity in them also?
You: viewed a non sexual photo of a woman online
Her: ok "cheater" proceeds to tell you to off yourself +saying she's gonna kiss other people + get get with her ex to make it "fair"
HOW IM THE LOVE OF GOD IS THAT "FAIR" This chick is fucking crazy and you need some self respect
She is abusing you bro. Yeah you shouldn’t have liked those posts but that doesn’t compare to reaching out to an ex and threatening to cheat. Just leave dude she is being excessive. Either she is already cheated on you or she genuinely wants to hurt you and neither of those are good. Go no contact and never reach out again.
bro u jus needa stop trying. fr. there’s no fixing this because there’s no fixing her. she shouldve sorted out her insecurities and problems before getting into a relationship and putting them all on u. break up.
Your girlfriend has some deep insecurity issues and that's not your fault.
Dude please run from her, and fast, don't play her game, you will lose.
This woman is an abuser. You are in an abusive, manipulative relationship.
Stop engaging and fine someone with some sense! Liking a celebrities post is not bad or cheating and in no way is kissing someone else her lowering herself to your level. Cheating involves either emotionally or physically engaging with another person. You have not done this!
This person needs mental help
She’s already moved on. You should as well. Don’t end up on a True Crime YouTubers channel. Leave and don’t look back. No one should go through this especially at this age and because of liking and following celebrities. She’s super insecure. Let her ex deal with this craziness. Don’t go back to her, man. Leave it alone.
OP, wake up, dude. Your (needs-to-be-ex) girlfriend is abusing you. This is such an inconsequential thing and she is completely overreacting. Yes, she’s 18, and obviously immature, but that doesn’t give her the right treat you like this or say those things and then be forgiven. She is literally not the only girl out there so I urge you to let her go and find someone who isn’t trash.
LMFAO. Bro your gf is psychotic. Like certifiable. I get you are blinded by love but this is not normal. Block her and stop talking to her. Have some self respect.
She’s toxic and not worth your efforts and mental health. Her ways if equality and healing by cheating on you makes zero sense and is a control and power tactic. This is such an abusive and manipulative thing for anyone to be like. Very selfish and doesn’t seem to care about you other than hurting you.
OMG what did I just read. You are both teenagers and this reads like a old timey mello drama. You need to learn when someone is being toxic and manipulative. And you are doing way too much.
You liked a few photos of people who you will never meet, she shouldn't feel threatened by that. And how did she figure that out? By drilling through your social media and analyzing your activity. Then jumping to these extreme conclusions of classifying this as cheat, then she blocks you, contacts her ex, makes plans with him and plans to kiss someone else. And makes it a point for you to find out all this. This is crazy behavior. And if she said something so horrible to you like you should "kill yourself" she is cruel and irrational. This is not normal behavior.
I am even thinking that she already had plans with the ex and is using all this as an excuse to justify her behavior, so she can blame you for her actually cheating.
This is not a good relationship, she is incredibly insecure and immature. You cannot make someone feel secure, that is something she needs to work on herself.
This relationship is doomed; if you some how manage to get back together, she will always find a way to twist your actions to fit her narrative and manipulative you. Seriously this is not healthy. This relationship should end.
Your girlfriend is way too insecure, and verbally abusive because of it. "Off," the relationship. Break up with her.
so you liked a post and now she wants to cheat on you?
she is being incredibly unfair, she needs therapy for narcissism i believe, its very toxic. she wont try to fix it, so she wants you to chase her, this is toxic relationship dynamics. she might have just dragged you along and lovebombed you and now shes devaluating you and threatening to completely discard you
MIND YOU- if she wants to kiss this guy, that means SHE LIKES HIM ALREADY
and she has not taken any steps to shut off her contact with this guy shes obviously into
go at her with this, she will most likely just spite you even more, she doesnt want to work on herself and she thinks youre the only problem
you have as i read it done everything you could to make her trust you- she wont try to fight for it. it seems lost already. even despite her age i think this is completely unreasonable.
You wrote an 8 page essay and 40 page presentation on what exactly? This is all over a few likes on Instagram right? Not actual conversation? Not physical cheating? But likes in a sea of uncountable thousands of likes, your handful of fake internet points have cause you to do this? My man, go outside and touch some grass, that is insane. She has essentially broken up with you and is going to see exes and act single because you liked some pictures? I am so glad social media wasn’t was it is now until I was already out of school.
She even suggested that if she were to "cheat" in her own way, we could heal together by lowering herself to my supposed level. Additionally, she has reached out to her ex and made plans to attend a concert with him. She has also mentioned the possibility of kissing another person at a wedding or party to create a sense of equality and healing.
This woman is abusing you. You should leave her. Future you will thank current you.
Dude. All this because you "liked and saved" a post?
8 page letter ... a presentation ... this is all purely ridiculous. Stay broken up and work on your maturity.
She sounds absolutely exhausting. If she reacts this way over liking a random celebrity's post, you do realise she is going to control who you talk to irl right? You have a female coworker? She'll forbid you from talking to them. An old school friend? She'll end that relationship. She will make you cut off anybody she deems as a threat. But how come she's allowed to hang out one to one with an ex? The audacity.
It's way too much to ask of one person. And you need to stop writing letters and making presentations because you've literally done nothing wrong.
Dump her and find someone who isn't suffocating or makes you feel bad about yourself when you've done nothing wrong.
You liked a celebrities post on social media. This is not cheating even in the slightest. I’m sorry but your girlfriend is insane. Count your losses and leave. This is just the beginning of the crap she will put you through if you stay.
This girl is awful and this is just the beginning.
Dude . It’s so unrealistic to expect your partner not to find other people attractive. It doesn’t matter if she walked in and saw you having sex with someone else , telling someone to kill themselves is never acceptable in any situation. You don’t know if someone has had suicidal thoughts in the past or currently, it could be the thing that just pushes that person over the edge .
This is absolutely ridiculous, you are not cheating because you liked and saved some pictures of celebrities, your girlfriend is incredibly insecure and doing a 40 page presentation & 8 page letter is batshit. No-one should tell you to kill your self, especially for this trivial stuff. Seriously dump her, she’s only gonna get worse & far more controlling, and as for you OP, dude…40 page presentation?? Come on, that’s ridiculous.
Dude. Run. This is not the girl for you. Liking celebrities isn't cheating and the fact that she's trying to use it to allow her to hang out with her ex and kiss randoms at a wedding shows you who she is.
As for suggesting you off yourself. You dodged a bullet. You should not be apologizing or trying to win her back. You should be congratulating yourself on a successful escape from someone who will make you miserable.
Next time she contacts you to tell you how awful you are and have you beg for more forgiveness, I'd send this back:
"I've thought a lot about your feedback and what you want from a partner and how to win your trust back and it seems clear at this point I can't. While I'll always value our time together, your reaction to my liking some celebrity posts has shown to me how you handle disagreement. Your response was to suggest you cheat on me and imply that was equivalent. Clearly that's not the case and I can't be with someone who overreacts to simple posts and then threatens to cheat on me. I want us to have an adult relationship and you aren't ready for that. I wish you the best and hope you find someone who meets your requirements. I'm looking for someone more mature and that's not you."
Then block her. She'll likely beg you to come back to her at this point because she's emotionally manipulative and will realize she's lost you but don't give in. Do not respond to any messages.
I want to stress this because your GF is messing with your head. You did nothing wrong. Liking celebrities is normal. Saving posts us normal. Fuck, porn is normal. All of these things are normal and healthy. Don't let someone give you a complex at your age. You have plenty of time to find someone who is a better fit!
Run fast, run far. Block her on everything. If possible move and change your phone #
Her overreaction is to the point of questioning her sanity and ability to stop herself from getting violent with you and/or bring up false charges.
Sounds like you're better off without someone like that.
I did not even read your post and i can tell you that the girl is unhinged.
Honestly given a chance I'd share this thread with her if she tries to contact you again and say you want nothing to do with her
Bro your gf is 18 and clearly got some maturing to do; like previous comments said, it looked like she was trying to find a reason to go to a concert with the Ex and basically gaslit you with the celebrity thing. I've been in your predicament and have done literally similar things, it's just going to keep killing you until you decide to respect yourself and leave; I promise man, there will be other chicks that do not behave as childish as this girl, please for your mental sanity and peace of mind leave this girl and join the gym and work on yourself
I stopped reading after you mentioned her rationalizing cheating as a way to get back at you.
Look, you're a very smart guy. Super young also. I know it may seem like things are already serious, but you have a lot of time to grow and check out what else is out there.
Her reaction to you liking posts is completely immature and toxic.
I'd run without looking back.
If you really really care about her and want to salvage this then maybe ask her why she is acting like this.
In my experience this kind of behavior stems from possible past trauma/abuse.
Maybe ask her how other guys have treated her and then ask her if that's the kind of guy she wants or if she prefers the way you treat her.
DO NOT BEG FOR HER BACK.
Your reaction is putting her in a position of power over your emotions.
Simply state that you want better than this when it comes to a relationship, and that if she wants to act out making you feel bad to compensate for some kind of insecurity, then she should go and do that with someone else.
Again. Just from how you wrote everything out. Smart dude.
Know your worth bro. Plenty of girls out there that will not put you through this senseless bullshit. (sorry, that's what it is imo =/)
My current gf doesn't like when other women pop up on my IG, but she has admitted that stems from previous relationships where the guy would be doing that to get a rise out of her.
I got yelled at today, actually. lol My friend put up some girl on IG, and I JUST opened the app! Was sitting next to bae and she's like, "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT! WHY DO YOU DO THIS!?".
It's like an episode from past trauma. Just trying to help her heal. You can't enable the past traumas or they will never get resolved though.
My girl is helping me heal also.
The person has to recognize their behavior and be willing to work on it though. Otherwise it is pointless.
Be confident! You got this bro. 👍
Your girlfriend sounds incredibly immature, insecure, jealous and very mean spirited.
She clearly lacks self confidence. You would be wise to get over her and move on.
What she said and did is far worse than you liking someone's social media page/photo.
Go and talk to a counselor if you continue struggling to get over her.
just so i know i have all of my facts straight:
you liked a picture and she told you she hates you, told you she should and might cheat on you with her ex and other people to lower herself to your level because you “cheated”, told you she doesn’t know if she can love you again, made up with you then made it a problem AGAIN.
think long and hard about this relationship and if this is something you want to continue to pursue. you won’t really leave until you’re ready to leave but this abusive behavior and it won’t get any better later down the line. i know you love her and you claim you’re desperate; she knows this as well. that’s why she’s taking advantage of you right now. the situation isn’t that serious for this type of reaction. the fact that she told you she’s gonna cheat and compared you to her ex and you’re still writing thesis’s to keep her around makes her feel untouchable. set a boundary. love yourself more than you love her. this is not normal and you truly deserve better. don’t be so desperate that you can’t love and protect yourself just to keep other people happy. you will never be happy. best of luck
you don’t want to be with someone you had to convince to be kind to you (especially with a 40 page report). she is an unkind person. deeply, deeply bad on the inside.
I'm terribly sorry, but I have tried and just can't come up with any advice for you.
So many kind redditors have given you very good advice, but it is clear you aren't interested in anything other than trying to get back with this horrid, insane girl.
Good luck with that.
You have been dating for six months, and the amount of reassurance you are giving her is not reasonable. A forty-page presentation? “Pure love” only exists in fairy tales. I reread your post and can’t describe any of your behavior as cheating, yet she talks of kissing someone else to create a sense of equality and healing. She lacks the maturity necessary for an adult relationship. Move on from her and don’t look back.
Tell her adios.
Don't put up with her s****y behavior. Don't ever be written sometimes who is so hateful. Why would you want to make anything work with someone who tells you to commit suicide?
Love yourself! Know your self-worth. You can do so much better & you deserve it.
Your ex gf is a sociopath at best and it’s clear she was only looking for excuses to cheat on you in the first place. You sound like you need some self discipline in your life bro. Look at you getting all emotional over some useless sack of shit that already is getting run through with dick as we speak. Seriously, find a hobby or God or something. You’ll realize you are way better off alone than with this terrible rat shit of a human.
Imagine if instead of writing 40 page presentations, you put that energy into something productive.
Did AI write this?
Break up. She needs mental help. If you stay, so will you.
That's not love. That's jealousy, insecurity and control issues all in one
All of this for an Instagram photo 💀
Just stop liking posts on social media. It's kind of a dumb habit anyway, though definitely not suicide-worthy! Seriously, how do you personally benefit from liking a post by a celebrity?
I would constantly tell her that she’s the only girl I find pretty
You shouldn't tell her that. It's an obvious lie. There are lots of attractive men and women out there, and we all notice them.
Ex girlfriend, sweetheart. Nobody deserves this! In my 60 years of life, I have never said this, and I never would! Show of hands, please… ✋
I am editing to add: you did not make a mistake. Liking posts of famous people is normal; not a violation, and not cheating.
You are way too young to be dating. Have friends. Have hobbies and interests. But for your own growth and mental health, stay single for a few years. Good luck in all you do.
Kid this has less to do with your actions and more with this girl’s insecurities. I would walk away for this bag of crazy. Because age has a way of making this worse. You didn’t cheat you just fanboyed. I think you can find someone else more secure. This is just my two cents.
It’s unrealistic to only admire your significant other. There’s lots of beauty in the world. Admiring someone else isn’t cheating. Pursuing someone else is. Huge difference! Thinking that this is cheating is possessive, immature, and controlling.
If she’s newly on birth control it’s why she might be acting like a psycho.
Honestly go for more easy going relationships your life deserves peace and it’s generally a good rule of thumb to look out for you first especially as you are entering new relationships. This IS the time to be selfish.
Either way even if it is due to a hormonal issue that young lady needs to heal. Let her go and if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be. People need to save themselves it’s not your responsibility to be taking care of anyone while you are young and in school and figuring out your life. Until you’ve made a commitment though marriage you should be absolutely diligent to create a peaceful frictionless life with a person who is your equal in maturity.
She needs to focus on herself and her healing mentally or physically. Focus on your work and studies right now that’s your biggest responsibility
Her plans to meet up w/ex or think about touching someone else makes me think it was already on her mind, and she’s blowing this up to give her a pass on what she already wanted to do…
Um yeah so you keep saying "my gf" but the scenario you are describing is not a relationship. You guys are broken up and yeah, it's over a stupid little, silly thing. The ages on this one check out. It's hard to have a mature relationship as teenagers so you gotta cut yourself some slack. You made a small mistake. You tried to apologize and now she is acting extremely immaturely.
You should leave this one lay and find a new girlfriend buddy. Don't ever stay in a relationship with a person that says she's going to cheat to equalize with you liking a social media post of another woman. Those aren't equals, and she is just trying to have her fun without the guilt now.
Also, never stay with someone that tells you to die. You're young, you have so much life ahead and potential that you should chalk this up as a learning experience as to what girls to avoid in the future, and move on.
There is more going than you know. Good or bad I can’t say. But she appears to be hiding something behind this facade. I’d let her be. If she sees you are not interested, then she will figure out what she wants. But right now you appear to be borderline harassing her.
I’m probably going to sound super misogynistic here but Dude…. You need to grow some fucking balls. Your only “mistake” was putting up with any of her bullshit. You “liked” a celebrities post. If that’s a fucking boundary then this girl needs to move to an island in the middle of the ocean with no internet. Her expectations for a relationship are bonkers and you should not entertain them for one second. Let someone else be her lapdog.
Her reaction is way overboard honestly. I could understand being upset to some degree, but even then that's just her being incredibly insecure. I think a conversation with you most likely would have been enough.
You did not contact any of these people, nor do you know them. You were not physical with any of them. All you did was like a post or save a photo. She has gone as far to not only say really messed up things, but also got back in touch with her ex. She's telling you she will be physical with others, because somehow she thinks that makes you even. It doesn't.
I don't think this girl is mature enough to date. People don't "get even" in a relationship when someone messes up. You can't fix this with her, nor should you want to.
My advice? Block her. Stop referring to her as your girlfriend. Be done with her.
These posts make me exhausted. My husband thinks celebrities are pretty. Hell, I think celebrities are pretty. No healthy relationship gives a shit. She’s controlling and childish. Please move on.
seriously? I guess I have to take the age into context. liking a celebrities post is normal, or finding someone else attractive other then your partner. I guess I don't understand why she found it offensive.
Buddy, let the trash take itself out.
Would I love it if my husband was saving photos of female celebrities? It wouldn't be my favorite thing in the world, but it's well within normal behavior and most people would be fine with it.
She's allowed to have unusual, very strict boundaries if she wants to, but she can't be cruel to you over it like this. She's being 1000% over the top right now.
Why in the world would you want to be in a relationship with someone so insecure and insensitive? She told you to die and is acting like a spoiled brat because you liked a couple of pictures. That’s just over the top and a GIANT red flag. Cut your losses and tell your family she doesn’t respect you. They would want you to be with someone who loves you and respects you from the start. This is not the girl.
how do i assure her when she tells me “ i want to love you but i don’t if it’ll be the same pure love we had…we had such a beautiful relationship , you don’t love me why’d you do this to us, a little part of me will still hate you we had such a beautiful relationship and you screwed it up, i thought abt it (for 1 day) and i don’t think i’ll be able to love you the same” i know i messed up, i broke her boundaries knowing them, i messed up but i told her i’ll do everything i can to be the partner she deserves, and to have faith in our love, i won’t lie to her ever and i’ll be someone she looks up to and we’ll be glad we didn’t give up, but i need to assure her when she tells me “i don’t think it will be the same again”
You can't. I can tell you she's not the one. As I said in another comment, do NOT take her back. She will destroy your life. There are much better women out there.
A good and loving partner wouldn't ever tell you to off yourself and wouldn't come unglued like this.
She’s entitled to her feelings I guess but her overreaction was absolutely ridiculous. She told you to off yourself. Now you know how she reacts when she’s hurt. Is that something you want to live with?!
I know this is hard to hear (read) but you didn’t do anything wrong and this girl is a shitty person. Let her go and find yourself someone who won’t treat you like garbage for no reason.
It’s impossible to “assure” her because nothing she said is even remotely realistic. It’s crazy, literally.
I went through something similar when I was your age: an exhausting gf with unrealistic expectations, including that it was impossible to fall in love more than once in one’s life. I tried for longer than any sane person would to make myself what she wanted, until I was finally emotionally-beaten enough to make realize I’d be better off without her. And I was. You will be, too.
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1.0y
Kinda sounds like you're saying her reaction was warranted bc he was looking at celebrities photos
This isn’t close to porn.
yup you’re right, i messed up but i’m doing everything i can to win her back and convince her in my eyes she really is the girl i want
You don't need to win her back man. She's literally looking for excuses to cheat. Seriously, a relationship of 6 - 7 months at your age is not worth all this trouble. And if for some reason she did say yes to getting back to her, imagine how her reactions may be in the future for even smaller things. I suspect something else is at play here and you should probably just separate yourself now.
Why do you want to be with her. She told you to kill yourself. Thats incredibly disgusting, disrespectful, and abusive
My friend, I know you came here looking for reassurance, but I will join the chorus telling you to end the relationship. You did transgress, but It was really minor( unless those posts were of a pornographic nature) Her reaction is extreme, and shows what living with her would be like. She is mean, manipulative, and kind of not right in the head. You say she has blocked you on everything? Block her right back. I would recommend a therapist, but I can tell you that they would tell you that she will make you “ pay” for the rest of your life, and you should leave and not look back, for. your mental health. Be aware that once she knows you have moved on she may well come chasing after you. Be strong, take the time to really reflect on the relationship. You have been concentrating on the good bits, but I suspect there is more to it , from some of your comments
You did not mess up. You liked an celebrity online. That's not cheating. It's not being unfaithful. It does not bear it your gia friend needing to cheat on you in revenge. It is no way means you should off yourself and your girlfriend is unhinged and toxic to even suggest that. Honestly though your whole relationship sounds toxic. That you felt the need to do a 40 page presentation to apologize is absurd. I'm going to chalk that up to age and possibly that this is a first relationship. You deserve better. You need to kick your girlfriend to the curb.
You literally did nothing wrong. Your girlfriend is psychotic and a terrible person .
Dude just move on. It's really really not worth it.
She sounds awful. She’s showing you who she really is. Believe her. Walk away.
Sounds healthy
This girl’s — and I use the term girl deliberately, because she’s clearly immature as hell — sense of proportion is broken.
Liking a few posts of a celebrity— someone you will never, ever meet — being equivalent to her getting back with her ex in person, kissing him, maybe making out with him, maybe more?
lack of proportionality.
Wishing you unalive for same? A few CLICKS?
Again, complete lack of proportionality.
She wishes to be single over that? Sounds like a win/win to me.
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