DAE have Cptsd from being raised by narcissists?

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Read “From surviving to thriving” by Pete Walker, it’s incredible.

Yes and it robbed decades from me.

And yes, I did develop CPTSD, got misdiagnosed with bipolar because I refused to accept my parents were narcs, then reached a point when I forced to accept the truth. Knowing what happened to me has brought healing. Best of luck.

I’m so sorry and yes I am in this boat with you right now… you are not alone. I feel like my symptoms have gotten worse and worse with each accumulating new situation with my narc family members. Sometimes these days I’m actually scared because of how bad I feel. I have the Pete Walker book, I restarted a daily yoga practice, I meditate and go for walks, I took a break from work, I’m doing talk therapy…. But I’m still truly suffering. I don’t know what else to do. I’m following along here for any advice as well.

I do, but some other people contributed too. I go to regular talk therapy for now.

I tried to get mental health support & diagnosis in UK as I felt that severe anxiety & panic attacks were not depression. Just got prescribed anti-depressants which did nothing. I have a nmum & now realised brother is one too (they worked together to make my life miserable). I tried CBT which didn’t help. Had talking therapy which also didn’t help. Nobody diagnosed me. A couple of years ago I had a stroke & had to be put in a coma using Ketamine because of severe brain injury. Since then I’ve not had any symptoms at all. I do think I had Cptsd

Yes, diagnosed C-PTSD. Please look into EMDR treatment. It helped me immensely.

I’m in the middle of doing inner child therapy, it’s fucking hard and has taken over a year for me to realise what I see is real. I’ve got CPTSD and a personality disorder

🙋🏻‍♀️

Yep. Found out by filling out a workbook with a therapist. Didn’t believe it at first. Mostly because I had been told my whole life I had a good family (by my parents of course).

Then spent the money to get officially tested and diagnosed. Also started remembering more about what happened. And opening up more about things. Turns out it wasn’t normal and super fucked up.

I developed cptsd from certain events that happened in my childhood. My nMom has caused me to have real anxiety in my later years. I most recently struggle to have certain leadership traits at my job that could really boost my career due to my lack of confidence. Learning more about nParents and knowing that I am not alone is helping. This subreddit is great for that.

I have it too, im still getting better. The book “the body keeps the score” can be helpful but also somewhat triggering.

Yes; I have CPTSD and ADHD (inattentive). I am convinced that my ADHD is the result of CPTSD from childhood experiences.

Infra slow fluctuation neurofeedback and deep brain reorienting have been two of my most effective treatments.

ISFN directly trains the brain regulation skills. Regulation is everything. See books by Stephen Porges and Deb Dana on polyvagal theory, regulation skills, and window of tolerance. It's why people recommend somatic body based modalities like yoga meditation, and breathing exercises. If you can learn regulation skills, you can expand your window of tolerance and help keep your prefrontal cortex online, so you can use your other skills.

Deep Brain Reorienting helps resolve triggers down in the brain stem, so we're less reactive. It's like a very slow guided meditation with a guide to help move through old trauma memories/triggers.

I also had to learn how to grieve, grieving is a painful necessary part of healing. Like clearing out necrotic tissue from an old festering emotional wound so it can heal properly this time around.

Plus we have to undo the brainwashing and operant conditioning we endured. I've had to unlearn a lot of my toxic conditioning and replace it with healthy conditioning.

Here are some channels that have helped me:

Rebecca Mandeville - she deeply understands family scapegoating abuse/group psycho-emotional abuse.

Patrick Teahan  - a must subscribe for me. He presents a lot of great information on childhood trauma in a very digestible format.

Jerry Wise - fantastic resource on self differentiation and building a self after abuse. I really like how he talks about the toxic family system and breaking the enmeshment by getting the toxic family system out of us.

Jay Reid - his three pillars of recovery are fantastic. Plus he explains difficult abuse dynamics very well.

Theramin Trees - great resource on abuse tactics like: emotional blackmail, double binds, drama disguised as "help", degrading "love", infantalization, etc.

I don't have that official diagnosis as I'm fairly sure it's not even recognized in my country but looking at all the things online I'm pretty sure I have that. My current therapist said a few times already to my group reactions that it's PTSD. It's fuckin exhausting. Honestly for me the only thing that started helping is my current therapist who is specialized in narcissistic abuse - had no idea how skewed some previous helpers were due to missing this.

I was in therapy for a little bit and the therapist said it was obvious I had PTSD. I'm seeing a psychiatrist in August because I have all of the listed symptoms (except one I found on one website, but then maybe I'm just in denial because it was a pretty shitty symptom) for Borderline Personality Disorder and would rather get a professional diagnosis and treatment than just go through life thinking I might have it. I know CPTSD and BPD get conflated a lot and I don't really know how it all works, not being a doctor myself, but I know I am in that general area of issues. It's so bad I won't even go outside unless I absolutely have to. If I didn't have a hybrid work schedule, I probably wouldn't go out at all. I also struggle with sleeping - at least one night a week I will be up until sunrise and I have no control over it. It makes working very difficult. I don't eat much at all and am noticing the starting signs of malnutrition. I'm afraid of everyone including myself. I have substance dependency issues too ever since buying that substance online became so much easier. My father is an alcoholic so that tracks. I'm frequently suicidal. I can be having an okay day and one little thing will set me off on a spiral of internalized hatred. Sometimes something as little as making a minor error. Mistakes were not treated with the requisite grace in my family - more used as something to prove we were ruining my father's life by existing near him. I carried that on in his stead after moving out of the country. And I can't stop it no matter how hard I try. I have paranoia when I'm out or working from home that I am being bugged or watched - whoever might be doing that waiting for me to make a mistake so they can berate me or ruin my life.

My only saving grace lately has been falling back hard into creative writing. I used to write fan fiction as a child and picked it back up recently. It's been doing rather well. I chastise myself for that too, though. That it's all I ever do anymore, just write and work. I'd like to go out and enjoy the weather, buy some new clothes, go grocery shopping... but that feels too overwhelming. What if I make a mistake while I'm out? What if someone guilts me into doing something I don't want to do? What if my car breaks down in the middle of the street? Sometimes, just being around other people feels so exhausting I'd sooner go hungry with no food in my house than go out and get any, and I have done that many times. There are many things I have needed and gone without because it's better to do that than to get hurt. I even gave up a nicotine addiction cold turkey due to the anxiety of having to buy more. I used to vape and the people behind the counter would get irritated because they couldn't understand my accent, so I gave up on that.

I just got diagnosed with that this year but honestly it doesn't bother me. I told my therapist this has been my entire life, it doesn't matter to me that it has a name now. I already got diagnosed with MDD, dysthymia, and GAD as a child. It's not like I need to process anything different now.

r/CPTSD

It was the double whammy of narc coded mom and narc ex husband, but yes. I had processed a lot of my childhood trauma and a lot of what i am still dealing with is from my ex.

I have CPTSD as well, I feel for you. I’m definitely not healed that much, but have gotten significantly better. I can function pretty well now and autoimmune like symptoms I used to have slowly gotten better/ disappeared after getting rid of the stress.

Right now I’ve been trying edmr, mindfulness, and meditation. I honestly do not think they are for me but I’m just trying things out to see if it helps at all.

I did develop CPTSD, and I'm still healing. The main thing that helped after the main events that caused the CPTSD was doing a lot of meditation on my own.

Yes, I was diagnosed with C-PTSD. The way it was explained to me was the long-term abuse at the hands of the Narcissist and abusive enabler I suffered, is what differentiates from typical PTSD.

Though I haven't officially seen my Narcs medical charts, I am 99.99% sure she was diagnosed in the early 1970's with NPD or Narcissism, per events I remember.

Yep. Never been officially diagnosed with C-PTSD but had a therapist allude to it and I check all the boxes. Turns out spending 3 decades thinking you were a terrible, mentally unwell person because of all the gaslighting and reactive abuse used against you will fuck you up. I am mentally unwell, but it’s thanks to them (and I’m in my healing era).

I had been in talk therapy on and off for over 25 years before I started EMDR. I made leaps and bounds in recovery with EMDR. I went weekly for about 2 months, and then every other week for about 3 months. It was life changing. I wish you luck and healing.

should check out the subreddits for cptsd and emotional neglect if you havent already

1. Yes.
2. In progress.
3. CBT, DBT, & Narrative combo.

I did talk therapy, ADHD coaching and meds, and anti-depressants.

I learned from talk therapy, but the best results I had were from a coach who used a combination of Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems, and Polyvagal theory.

You’re not alone. I will never be a “normal” person. I will have to manage my disorders I’ve developed from the abuse I’ve experienced for the rest of my life. As I heal it will (and has) become easier to manage. I’ve been on the CPTSD forum for a while now and I have read from others that it does become easier and they only show symptoms a couple times a year. So I have hope for peace. But it will be a journey it won’t happen in a couple weeks or year. My trauma has robbed me years of my life that I will never get back, so I try my best to live forward and have compassion for myself and others.

CPTSD? I've had that since I was 12 (30 years).

Breakdown? Check! Happened when I was 20 at a camp with the college Christian fellowship. Last words I heard months later after I left that school and the people I thought were friends really weren't was "God hates you because you're different."

Normal? WTF is that!

In all seriousness, I only started therapy back in January (I'm 42). Got the official CPTSD diagnosis almost right away. I'm currently in talk therapy and about to enter CBT and EMDR (wish me luck).

As for healing. It's slow and painful AF, and I have a feeling I'm gonna be doing this for the rest of my life.

Hope that helps.

I was diagnosed in 2018. But when I recently went to a center of expertise, I was pressured to call it a re-experience. Because I couldn't come up with something so quickly and felt overwhelmed, the conclusion was resolutely drawn that I don't have (C)PTSD. When I said I already had a diagnosis from 2018, it was dismissed as a snapshot.

And that while I deal with almost all symptoms daily. I had EMDR and that went utterly wrong for me. In 3% of people, that treatment goes wrong. It took more than a year before I was able to function normally again. I've had a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy without any success. Just like rTMS.

So far, I haven't had a single positive experience. My environment doesn't take it seriously either. It's tough, but I'm still standing.

That or BPD, no one can decide.

didn't realize I had it until like a month ago talking with another friend with cptsd and realized our coping mechanisms lined up. I was always like "well I didn't have THAT bad of a childhood, I just got beat within an inch of my life like four times a week" bro that IS that bad 🤦 so that on top of autism and bpd, that makes life a little hard to navigate sometimes, but I'm trying to find a more specialized therapist in my network to help with that

still doing leagues better at managing it than my dysfunctional dad who I suspect has all or most of the same stuff I do, so that's a W in my book

I found out that my psychiatrist NP added PTSD to my list of diagnoses. I was honestly surprised as I honestly don't think everything was that bad. I had said that I do have nightmares about fighting with my parents but it's not THAT often.

Absolutely. Ever since I went NC 2.5 yrs ago. Started seeing a therapist to work on my anger and resentment.

I had a lot of CBT - didn't help. Ketamine didn't help. If anything I would howl loudly in pain and cry so loud it would freak out the other patients. EMDR is helping but it takes time.

Yes, I do have CPTSD from it and it highly contributed to it as well.

I was going to make a post asking others the same thing! I had a few episodes of psychosis too because of the gaslighting and emotional abuse, and it also led to a few misdiagnoses for me.

Therapists (mostly hired by the nmom) were very adversed to acknowledging the effects of emotional and economic abuse. Things really started to changed once I found a good therapist with humanistic training and I stopped self-gaslighting.

I've never been diagnosed with CPTSD, but I can relate to most of the symptoms (flashbacks, triggers, negative self-perception, constantly on-alert, barely able to form relationships...). I once read that you can't really move on from trauma, but you can learn how to live with it. I also have to say I've improved a lot since one of my Nparents (the worst of the two) passed away, so I'm expecting to continue improving once the remaining Nparent is gone too (not that I wish them dead, but it is what it is).

Hello! That’s me.

Oh, fuck yes. THey tried to break me, didn't succeed, derailed my life, and I found a way to keep going, so they kept coming after me til they died.

...But scars a souvenirs you never lose.

Sure do

Yes.

🙋‍♀️

Yes

Yep.

Yes

I'm sure I have cptsd but I've never been diagnosed. No contact and raising my own kid has helped me so much.

The “internal family systems” therapy is very very very helpful for the cPTSD of being raised by narcissists. If you can find a therapist that uses it (they’re rare) AND manage to take it at least a little seriously (I had such a hard time at first, it felt very childish), it could be life changing. It was for me. Obviously not everything works for everyone and all of our trauma is different, but I do encourage looking into it. Also, the book “Love and Rage” by Lama Rod Owens.

Misdiagnosed as bipolar for years. Started healing when treating CPTSD.

Tim Fletcher is a well known counselor and researcher that specializes in complex trauma, he’s a big name in the CPTSD field. In many of his talks, he says “complex trauma or CPTSD occurs when a child is raised in a family where one or both of their caregivers is a narcissist.”

I have CPTSD caused by severe emotional abuse from my Nmom and Edad. My CPTSD triggers and symptoms babe robbed me from many years of being functional and from enjoying life in general.

Yes, I have CPTSD - it's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. However, with time and constant effort every day I am very functional. I healed by taking care of my basic organic needs every day, despite being trapped in my head. I did this for years. I found the strength to eat, to shower, to walk outside, brush my hair, to sleep between 11pm and 7am, to cook at least once or twice every day, and to achieve something small like putting on a load of washing. Little wins meant a lot in those early days. I forced myself every single moment of every day. Then one day, it got a bit easier - like my body started slowly realising that I was safe. It continued in that fashion for a long time - but what other choice is there?

12 years later, I'm pretty healthy, university educated, happily married, and work a good full time job. If you do a little bit every day, you will do well in life. 

I believe that work/study/relationships/budgeting - it's all easy in comparison to CPTSD and domestic violence. Therefore, anyone who has survived the latter is absolutely capable of thriving in the former

I have come to appreciate my mother a great deal more once I was able to figure out that her mother was one of the biggest narcissists I've ever met. While my mother certainly wasn't perfect, I think she did a pretty good job considering the hand she was dealt.

YES and I found out from a random group therapist in an outpatient program who casually brought it up like “Huer durr I think ur parents gave you CPTSD.” and I was like ?????? and then WENT HOME TO TELL MY PARENTS ABOUT IT 💀💀💀 I was deep in the fog.

Also had a psychotic break. You're not alone there. These people are absolutely depraved and sick. I was screamed at and gaslit to that point.

Yup, and I got ADHD and autism diagnosed at 38 & 40 specifically. I guess I finally figured out what THE HELL was WRONG WITH MEEEEE

I have flashbacks sometimes. I don't feel safe. Intimate partners trigger fear even if I know they're safe & I feel incredibly terrified and vulnerable if I get angry because I wasn't meant to challenge the authority of an adult and mum tried to beat my spirit out of me.

I played in front of two way mirrors aged 6 so the message went in early that I was a freak and a burden

Yes, and no I have not healed

I think I do.

But my parents, family, even my doctors say I don’t need to be re evaluated again. But I do.

Something is wrong and I need to make sure I’m not crazy and not attention seeking like what my family says I do.

Definitely have Cptsd. Figured it was ADHD or Autism and went through the testing, but ultimately got landed with that. I haven't done any therapy yet, aside from my own reflections that just seem to be endless. I was the scapegoat of the family and I've had to cut most of them out and pick up their mess on my own.

I have started the healing process but its definitely more painful than living with my family.

I'm team waiting list.

I don't know what disorder I was labeled under spisifically I just know how they explained it to me. I was told I have black and white thinking or a hero's and Gillian's complex. Your either my best friend in the whole world or the lowest pos I've ever crossed and I'll spit on your name for the rest of my life and there is no in between. It's a type of attachment disorder but I don't think it's as serious as that. I just latch onto people I like and I treat them like family weather I've known you for years or if I've just met you. The second you cross me however you just don't exist to me anymore. I don't spend time with people that harm me and I give everyone a chance because strangers haven't harmed me yet. So strangers are more trust worthy than people I know basically. I have had break downs over sounds like thudding or stomping and I used to get bad flash backs especially around yelling. I find it hard to listen to an adult crying because I expect it's for attention at this point. But the more I talk about it or write about it the less the past plagues my mind. I've found story writing to be rather helpful and typing out my past in a rant style that I never look back on helps a lot too because internally I know it's in ink now so I don't need to hold onto it but also by typing it and not looking back at it I don't feel self conscious about wibbling about things that "don't matter" or "didn't happen" and I won't be tempted to delete it.

Most my life I've talked myself through panic attacks and flash backs though reminding myself that strangers have no clue what's going on internally and if family wasn't willing to help me I sure as hell can't expect strangers to have that level of empathy.

For a fair amount of time I'd completely try to escape my problems by delving into other people's problems,.putting myself in their shoes and then talk walking them through what I'd do and validating them on things they clearly needed to hear or have been without hearing. I've felt id like to do for others, the things I wish others would have done for me.. I'm aware I'm not the only person in the world and definitely not the only person that's been hurt in this way spisifically so if I can help people heal from these experiences I'll do my best to lend a hand. I feel less of a need to do this now but I still reach out if I see someone hurting publicly

I read "from surviving to thriving" by Pete walker and that book helped me realize I have developed dissociative traits related to my trauma. I was seeing a counselor for a little while in 2021 but then had a car accident and haven't been able to drive (except for one, very limited emergency) since.

The counseling was very helpful and gave me some coping mechanisms and ways to rephrase things. Since first acknowledging the dissociation, I've learned to work with the various parts better, and that has helped me to prevent being retraumatized by some of the things that caused trauma when I was young but still occur.

Controlling cptsd is a lifelong process, because it took a significant part of your life to create it in the first place. You'll feel like you're making no progress, but if you pick the symptoms causing you the most problems, rate them now, and rate them again in 6 or 12 months, you'll notice changes. They're just not visible day to day.

I think they are like peanut butter and jelly, they go together hand in hand.

I have just figured out I have CPTSD and it makes so much sense! Honestly I’m just glad I have a name for what I’m going through because now I know how I can heal. I hope you get the help you need, but there are many good books you can get on Amazon which will aid discovery.