my mother was always horrible and not understanding. recently she got diagnosed with cancer, and i’ve been taking care of everything. she gave away my clothings for being too sexy, and threw away my makeup, and looked trough private belongings such as notes and folders. i had an anger outburst i now get called names and get harassed by her bf & family for yelling at a woman with cancer. she starts crying and blaming me for everything when i confront her and never apologises. i can’t sleep & i can’t talk to anybody about my feeling because i get called a horrible person. are they right?
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I just lost my own mother to cancer. My sister had a similar situation like you: she (more than me) did everything she could to help my mother, but at the same time, still had a lot of things to work out between the two of them. I think what most people don't realise is: this might be your last chance to deal with things like that. Sure, your mother deserves respect and peace and love and all that - and I'm sure you love her, because she is your mother. But you also deserve to be heard, and you deserve the chance to hear from her what you need to hear.
What I just need to tell you though: whatever happened between you two, you can't take it away and you can't undo it. Your mother may not be capable of dealing with those things anymore - what she's going through is just too much. What both you and your mother, at the core, most likely need to hear the most, is that you love each other. Despite everything. She probably regrets anything she may have done that caused you pain, and just like you, what she wants to hear more than anything is that you love her. You don't even have to forgive her - you can't just wipe out years of pain and frustration. But make sure you don't forget to pull all of that aside at some point and create room for the two of you to express that love, before it is too late. That is more important than confronting her. It really is. Don't let your final moments and words together be angry.
Be strong. Take care. Good luck.
thank you, i will take you advise. i’m sorry for your loss ;(