Hi everyone. I experience intense anxiety and stress around college. I've recently begun therapy, and my therapist emphasized that it's okay to take some time off to reassess things. However, I find myself feeling incredibly bored. My only activities are going to the movies and spending time with my boyfriend. Even casual hangouts with college friends feel exhausting because college-related topics inevitably come up. I have a tendency of locking in when things get overstimulating or hard.

What I'm truly afraid of is the possibility of running into my ex or former friends on campus. It's the idea of encountering people I fear, even though I know it's irrational. I've been trying to cope by planning to return to school, watching guided tours of the campus, and so forth. But it's overwhelming, and I'm experiencing physical symptoms like nausea, stress-induced neck pain, panic attacks, and sudden drops in blood pressure. Strangely, these symptoms only occur when I'm on campus. Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this?

I recognize that this is a very specific issue, and I'm still able to manage other activities like work and grocery shopping. It's just college that feels overwhelming right now. I'm on medication, but I feel like it's no longer effective (though I continue to take it).

I don't meet the criteria for agoraphobia, but I do think it's a symptom of PTSD as a larger issue. Could that be possible? Has anyone been through this and overcome it?

I also tend to avoid people who have been aggressors or who have harmed or humiliated me in the past, which often leads me to stay away from certain situations due to feelings of shame. I've endured numerous traumatic experiences, including being involuntarily confined to a mental health institution, experiencing sexual abuse, and facing many adverse experiences during childhood. Additionally, I've been a victim of domestic abuse, among other things. I believe I carry a significant weight of trauma, and I may be afraid that these individuals will hurt me again, even if they do not directly interact with me or say anything. I know this is irrational and I struggle with it because I feel like it doesn't make any sense, like I'll never get over it and live a normal life. Especially when I'm trying to accomplish certain academic goals.

PD. This guy I used to talk to and flirt with has recently become a professor at uni, so I'm terrified of running into him. I feel like it's very humiliating but there's really no reason for it. He didn't do anything bad to me. In fact the people I avoid are just people whom I had disagreements with, like former friends. My abusers are not on campus nor any of the people that really hurt me in the past.