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I read the note, read this comment, went back to the note and now I can't unsee the baby arm.
Who the fuck has dot matrix printer paper lying around?
What if this note has been in circulation since the 90s? It could be a penis chain letter.
How many years of blue balls if I fail to pass it on?
7 years of blue balls.. and 5 years of bad luck unless you forward this to ten people right now.
but there's only one piece of paper!
Gonna be a lot of tracing.
All of them. All of the years
I keep a few rolls in my murder cave/commodore 64 memorial room.
I... kept a few for drawing.... like 10 years ago... i never drawn anything...
Dear lord my EXACT words I said out loud when seeing this.
Side note: had an intern probably 15 yrs ago. Her father and team invented the dot matrix printer. She told this story with the same gusto as you'd expect from a kid who's dad has mentioned this fact probably daily for 20 yrs of your life.
the same gusto as you'd expect from a kid who's dad has mentioned this fact probably daily for 20 yrs of your life.
I can't tell if that means a lot of gusto or not much at all
I don't think my father, the inventor of the dot matrix printer, would be too pleased to hear about this.
Creating that horrible sound is not bragging material.
Psychopaths who trace their dicks.
I have some. But only because I like to use it for rough sketches
Strange that you know the exact type. We are going to have to get a sample of your writing. Det. Johnson will take you downtown for a dick-tracing.
detective johnson is unavailable at the moment, i'll be doing the dick tracing
Either that's a kid messing with you or a grown ass man with a 2 year old handwriting
If it's a grown man then it's a whole nother level of creepy
Neither, OP is karma-farming a new account.
Idk how anyone is falling for this. There would've been a backstory with the pic at least with the "been trying to get your attention". Even so, why make so many posts about it? People are so gullible.
Exactly. Their username is literally 'AMasterfulWriter' and their display name is 'once in a generation artist', they've been posting karma farming posts ever since account creation.
Right? OP implies they have a dad bod, and married.
Teenage boys are weird, but what Teenage boy is sending cock tracings to the middle aged dude next door?
I don't know which is worse...
An adult is clearly worse.
Why tf would they think this would work?
Yeah, all kids are weird to a degree, if the writer of the note is a child then yeah it’s a bit weirder than usual for a child, but a kid can change. If this is an adult then his life is kinda screwed
but that's some dot matrix printer paper from at least 1988, truly a paradox.
Glad I'm not the only old mf'r that noticed that.
me too friend. spare any icy hot?
I still do this when I receive any official check or tax statement where you have to tear the perforated strips off the edges.
First thing I noticed. So creepy. This paper is old and this is an adult.
What came to mind first was that this is an older person who may be beginning to experience dementia orrrr he could be mentally disabled
We have a big stack that we found at work for a printer that no longer exists. My daughter likes to draw long banners on it.
I kind of miss how you could print something 5 feet long back in the dot matrix days, I remember printing stuff to hang up on my walls as a kid. Rockets were the best because they were long already, I had a big Saturn V printout that was so cool
I'm 21 and the dot matrix printer paper was the designated drawing paper at my grandma's house! I guess when three out of four people work with computers in the '80s and early '90s, you end up accidentally hoarding it.
Holy shit, you’re right! Haven’t seen that in years. When I was in kindergarten we would play a trick on each other with the perforated sides once they were torn off. I forget exactly how it goes, but basically we would hide a “bouquet” of them behind our back and ask the person some question (I don’t remember) and when they answered we would reveal the bouquet and wave it around in their face. It was a really silly prank for kindergartners but still more mature than the guy who wrote the note to OP! Hahahaha
I’m so glad that someone said something about that printer paper… that’s the most terrifying thing about this. Like who still has that paper laying around?
Creepy old dudes that creep on their neighbors
My grandparents have tons of it leftover from their working days. Don't know why they didn't throw it out but I remember when I wanted paper for drawing as a kid they'd give me stacks of this
I had the exact same experience! The dot matrix printer paper was the drawing paper or scratch paper at my grandma's house. And not throwing things out even though the things might be decades old and not used anymore seems to be a staple of being born around the end of the Depression and a little before the US got involved in WWII
My thoughts exactly
That paper makes me think back to grade school and playing Oregon Trail and Carmen Sandiego. Plus it was ridiculously satisfying to peel the sides off.
My local tire store still printing invoices w a dot matrix printer
Yup lots of retailers use them for invoices, very cheap printers with cheap ink ribbons and they can print pretty fast these days, plus no attaching pages together.
My thoughts exactly.
I opened the comments to type “this is perforated printer paper from the 80s”…and there we have it lol
Same.
Hi, I'm Chris Hansen, why don't you take a seat
Username…checks..out?
I don’t like the new literal edition of “Dick Tracy”
English is my second language and I always find it hilarious that dick is a curse word but Dick is not. It's also funny that I know a Richard that's a real dick.
Well done!
I am still laughing at this.
OP is a karma whoring liar. Look at this clown, screenshot of his profile:
He wrote the letter himself and then posted it on every sub
Omg I’m on acid and can’t stop laughing at this lmfao
Maybe OP is on acid too.
Maybe we're all on acid.
👀
Lmao i feel that. Have a safe trip brother
At the risk of seeming like a Douchebag idiot, couldn’t OP have genuinely gotten the letter, and just posted it to a bunch of different subs cause it’s hilarious? Like, is there something in that Screen shot that points in the direction of OP writing it themselves, that I missed, or is it just the posting to a lot of subs?
I agree, but the lowercase t's are inconsistent leading me to believe this note has been forged for karma.
Co-signed. I don’t get it either.
Was confused also. Many people post their pictures to multiple subs
I have removed my upvote
Where tf is Chris Hanson??
I'm going to need you to come to the station to answer some questions
thought i was on r/kidsarefuckingstupid
Honestly this writing looks like the 19 year olds we just hired a few months back… bizarre to me I thought he was joking around at first..
Any man that brags about his penis size is clearly lying about it. It's just dumb.
I HAVE A MINISCULE PINES
What four year old has a dot-matrix printer?
The backwards question marks scream serial killer.
Allegedly.
you are a being of pure chaos
Alternatively he is a dog. Although I guess that's just the same thing when you think about it.
Alleged penis.
I will see you in court
The only way The Ginger and Boots fucked that ostrich was if it were dead.
Yes it did
Wasn’t his penis. It was the bottom of his baseball bat, and it will be the murder weapon.
It’s the Riddler
And the a in attention is also backwards
6 year old serial killer oh no
And that type of paper hasn't been used since 1999
That was only like 10 years ago
Kids born in 2015 can vote now
And kids born in 2000 can drink!!
Can confirm, was born in 2000 and am currently drunk!
Ah, my favorite internet game: is this just ignorance or a bad joke?
Like 5 max
Annnd time to move
first, warn the cops and then tell the landlord , then tell the landlord you told the cops and then tell the entire apartment complex to watch out for that weirdo.
Then you move so he doesn't try to get revenge on you
Good plan. You can't be too cautious in a situation like this. If someone is mentally messed up enough to leave a letter like that, it's time to get away.
When I was younger, one of my parent’s had a coworker who had kids a year or two younger than me but was always odd and tried to hug me so I didn’t like him. Several months ago he got arrested for attempted murder as he had been studying one of his neighbor’s habits and wanted to murder said neighbor and keep his body in his closet for his “pleasure”. If I got a letter like this I would be spooked tf out
Yep. People like this are no joke. I see the people in the comments like "oh its just a 4 year old". No way. For your exact reason, if someone gets a message like this, you leave.
OP needs to contact the police.
That’s not fair! Rizzuto’s not a word! He’s a baseball player! You’re cheating!
Would you like to try the word ‘buzz’?
I HATE SCHOOL AND I HATE ALL OF YOU! I’M NEVER COMING BACK TO SCHOOL, NEVER!
Rirruto..?
those are z’s
Thank God he put the "(traced)" certification of authenticity about the outline of his penis on the piece of paper, I guess someone in the past rejected him because they thought that was fake
Bruh, what if he has papercuts on his dick? 💀
And orange sharpie marker too
Traced right through the bloody head, too. Shame.
I snort-laughed imagining this loser tracing his dick, like the logistics of it just make me laugh.
Also, dear god, please be safe. It really just might be a good idea to report this.
this is how they sent unsolicited dick pics back in the good ol days
Like I said in another comment. Look how around the tip, the line gets shaky or like the marker broke contact with the paper a bunch. That part of the drawing probably tickled like crazy
Any serial killer with sense would have used a can of spray paint for a perfect outline.
Judging by the combination of handwriting and size of the dick tracing, I’d say you’re being stalked by a child.
Edit: A child from the 90’s from the fact that they have that old ass printer paper.
That’s not the handwriting of a child - it’s an adult trying to look like one.
Yeah the one backwards a makes me think intentional
Exactly what caught my eye. Why is one backwards and not the rest?
And the "t"s change from the note to the PS. Also, less "hesitation" marks. This sincerely creeps me out. OP, I'd be on guard at all times.
I taught 4 - 8 year olds for about ten years. I'm no handwriting professional, but this is just...very, very unnerving.
The penis is backwards too, it’s an inny
I hate and love you. I just spewed whiskey through my nose from reading that.
It burns like hell, but I needed the gut laugh - past month has been rough.
Here's my freebie. Thank you.
Gracias and pass the flask my friend!
Wish I could! But cheers-ing in every direction around me so it goes the right direction! A drink to you, friend!! Cheers!
??? Are backwards too
Eh, yes, but I've seen kids do that a lot, and I mean a LOT. Question marks and apostrophes can be backwards and I wouldn't bat an eye - even if everything else is correct-facing.
That being said, that habit normally gets dropped after near the end of Kinder (in my experience). So...a four/five year old wouldn't write anything like that, let alone actually /hiding/ it.
So, either this is beyond fake, or the most creepy thing I've ever seen. I hope it's the former.
I gotta think no it’s fake as all hell
Also signs pointing to a lying-ass OP. I don’t believe anything anymore -_-
If this is real I'd be absolutely horrified. I wouldn't be "slightly disturbed" or "oddly terrified hehe"
That's what I'm saying. Also the fact that they spelled "interested" correctly. Not saying it's impossible, just super not likely that someone would spell that word right and then also draw the letter a backwards in the same note.
Maybe it’s an adult with a developmental disability? Could explain the handwriting and the lack of understanding of social boundaries?
Something really chilling about that post.
Right, no child with writing like that can spell “attention” correctly. They use the correct “your” as well. I was good at grammar as a kid, but I think my handwriting would’ve been better than that by the time I could write as well as the person in the post. The backwards question marks seem forced
Thank you for mentioning the printer paper. Was the first god damn thing I noticed hahah
Buy gun, trace it. “It’s this big”.
time for a restraining order
and a gun.
And materials for chemical castration
Nah homie tweaked out tracing his dick on the paper🗿
Adult trying to write like a child
Louisville represent!
People out here pointing out the backwards question mark and the shoddy trace job but does anyone else notice only one "a" is written backwards?
I noticed that. How on earth do you draw an a backwards unironically…like all the other a’s are correct and it’s lowkey kind of hard to draw a letter backwards when you’re so used to doing it right
The person who wrote this pretended to write like a child. The amount of inconsistencies within the paper show that this isn’t the writer’s true handwriting. If you take a look at all the letter “t”s within the paper you’ll see that the first and second t do not match. One is curved, the other isn’t. Writing is heavily dependent on muscle memory and even children depend on it, especially ones that already know how to spell big words like “attention” without any spelling mistakes. This note however, was not simple muscle memory. It was thought out and letter styles were purposely changed to create a messy look. It’s why the letter are inconsistent, and it’s also why the penmanship gets neater as it goes. Again, look at the “t”s at the very end of the letter. They are much more neater, and consistent than the rest of the letter.
My guess, OP wrote this. Not just because it’s forged handwriting, but because of the phone-number. The first three digits take up far more space than the rest of number, even though it goes XXX-XXX-XXXX and thus the last bit should take up more space. OP knew they would blurred the number out so they didn’t put in the effort to make it look real. There may not even be a real number under there, it may just be nonsense.
Damn, I feel like a detective
I'd send the phone number to the police
That's sexual harassment
My vagina just made the windows shutdown noise
Unplug it, plug it back in, wait 30 seconds and then try turning it on again
ew 🤮 please be safe, op! warn your landlord and absolutely call the police.
Not oddly terrifying, just terrifying.
Stay classy, Kentucky.
dudes got red sharpie on his dick now cmon man
Who the fuck has dot matrix feed paper anymore? Props, maybe?
There's no way this didn't work...
we’ve been married for 18 years. <3
/s
Remember, over half of American adults have a literacy rate below a 6th grade level. This guy could easily be 25 years old
Nice to see the 502 area code get some representation. Too bad it's by a mentally challenged stalker with a deformed penis.
🥵
Yeah, he seems like a winner. Not psychotic at all.
OP wrote note themselves
Hello? Yes I've been harassed by a mushroom with the handwriting of a four yr old.
Can I get a banana? For scale?
Call the cops and get a restraining order.
This won't go well if he continues.
Wow, doesn't even know how to make a question mark. Seems like a winner.
Baby learns to write... traces arm... terrorizes neighbors with completely misunderstood note.