I wish that I got $10 every time I sneezed
FunThis is exactly how the monkey paw does its stuff. Nice!
God damnit
Granted. It comes out in coins through your nose, thus triggering a nosebleed each time.
Pennies only
Imagine accidentally sneezing on someone and killing them with a thousand pennies.
Half pennies, so its worthless
Oh geez! I just imagined pennies sliced in half and left sharp traveling through my nasal passages.
Lol I didn't know about this sub, absolutely hilarious!
Granted. The money comes in the form of things you needed, but forgot to buy, and are now useless to you because you found workarounds before you got the items.
couldnt you just re sell them?
That's the neat part: you have shit luck in doing so.
Very few people will want your second-hand, snot covered item that retails for 10 bucks new.
Granted. You get $10 for every time you sneeze, but you develop severe allergies that cause your sneezes to be quite painful and they require expensive, specialized medicine to keep in check resulting in you effectively spending more than you are able to comfortably make.
Granted you have to pay 100 dollars in taxes on it every time that you sneeze
At least your tax return will be bonkers
Granted but sneezing also makes you shit yourself
Granted. Someone has to stop what they’re doing and personally bring you $10 every time you sneeze. They get fed up and kill you.
you can no longer sneeze
But you still get the feeling like you need to sneeze
This is fucking horrible
Granted. Each sneeze though is progressively worse until each sneeze rattles your organs slamming them into your bones.
Granted - you never sneeze again. You only get that horrible feeling of sneeze anticipation where you think you need to sneeze but no sneeze ever comes.
Granted! Your sneezes increase everyone in an audible radius’s murderous tendencies towards you by a bit.
I'm gonna grant this in a funny way.
GRANTED. HOWEVER.
The $10 manifests out of your butt with a comically loud fart as well.
So as you sneeze, you fart, and a $10 floats out just behind your pants.
Granted, it appears magically inside of your sinus cavity as a crinkled up, crispy and covered in snot 10 dollar bill. It is extraordinarily difficult to get out, especially when you sneeze multiple times in a row, most of the time you have to get it removed by physicians.
Granted, however, 90% of the time, if you would have sneezed, you instead just get a very runny/bloody nose that have a high chance of staining or ruining any clothing you have on unless you are very careful.
Granted you can never sneeze again so you’ll get a sneeze but it won’t come out it will just stay there and you have to accept defeat knowing you won’t get 10 dollars
Granted, every time you sneeze 40 quarters come out of your nose.
granted. you never sneeze again
Granted, but to get those 10 bucks you have to call a specific company to harvest the snoot out of you by putting a tube on your mouth and on your nose. In orther to avoid you getting suffocated, they will install a valve in your throat (it will be uncomfortable, and sometimes painful), as well as one on your rectum to manage gas disposal.
Granted. You must sneeze money out of your nose.
It’s in Pennies.
Granted. You can never sneeze again
Granted. You now have an obsessive stalker following you around 24/7. They will record any and all sneezes and post them on a private dark-web sneeze fetish site. They pay you back the amount of money generated for posting each sneeze, which averages out to $10.
Granted. The $10 is yoinked out of your own bank account and into your hands. You make no money from it. Also the $10 is in pennies.
Granted. You'll never sneeze again now for the rest of your life.
Granted. Ten dollars in pennies rocket out of your nasal cavity, ruining your nose. You are no longer capable of sneezing or properly breathing through your nose without expensive corrective surgery.
Granted. You also now have terrible, explosive diarrhea whenever you sneeze
The sneezes take 10 minutes of buildup
Granted. You get $10 every time you sneeze. However the sneeze causes a crippling headache that can only be alleviated my medicine that costs $20 a dose.
Granted. It's a check and you need to take a trip to the bank to cash it.
Granted. Every time you sneeze, $10 appears in a random orifice. :)
Granted. You now can't stop sneezing. You can't eat, or sleep or drink without sneezing. But you get $10 every time...
Granted. You sneeze 🤧 10$ bills. It becuse a new sickness. Names after you. your the only case in the world. doctor and scientist are now curious and researching you. 10$ bills are made of USA cotton.
So hope your allergies 🤧 do well. 10$ bill printing machine in your sinuses. even the USA government is curious about you. big to print said money, and your able to sneeze out clean 10$ bills. 💵
IRS and the secret service are also investigating this sickness.
Granted. You receive the money under suspicious circumstances every time, and get investigated by the Secret Service each time you receive the ten dollars.
Granted. Your blood is now infused with Claritin. You will never sneeze again.
Granted every time you sneeze you get 10 dollars american but you shot your pants
Granted. You never actually sneeze again, but you constantly have that feeling like you are just about to sneeze, but are never able to.
Granted you sneeze out very tiny fragments of gold worth 10$ when combined
Granted, but a random mugger will appear and mug you every time as well.
Granted, but you now live in the United States and the IRS is closely monitoring you so they can tax each of your sneezes. On top of that healthcare here is super expensive, so even if it's a disease making you sneeze, you have to pay a lot for treatment.
granted
$10 is removed from your bank account and put in your wallet every time you sneeze
Congrats, 1000 pennies drop on the ground when you sneeze, good luck picking them all up
Granted: the money is from one of those payday loan places with a 900% interest rate. Your loan officer is an Italian guy who goes by the name stitches.
Granted. Everytime you sneeze, you do so with such force that your body inadvertently breaks something valuable for which you must compensate the owner, less the ten dollars.
Granted. The IRS finds out and taxes you on it like you made that money through a job.
You're bill go up 300%
Granted, it is now your only source of income
Granted. You are now cured of your allergens, however.
Granted! You now have permanent hiccup sneezes! Sneezing multiple times a minute! And these are small sneezes! Each sneeze is enough to pop your back out of place
God, I’d be rich after this past week.
Anyways, it comes shredded out of your nose or something. Idk.
Granted. Any problem you've ever had with your sinus' is cleared and no new ones can form, making it almost impossible for you to sneeze.
Granted, but you are either in a constant state of either sneezing, having just sneezed, or an intense feeling of having to sneeze. Mostly just the third option, you spend most of the day feeling like you just got smacked in the nose.
Granted. The money comes out through your eyes in half-pennies, and your eyes regenerate simultaneously when the pennies are being ejected. Any non-penny wounds on your eyes will never heal unless it's surgery related. This also causes extreme pain.
Granted, you have nosebleeds every time and you can't use a tissue. You have to use the$10 bill.
Granted, but your sneezes are so powerful that doing more than 1 within a month will result in your head exploding
Granted. You have a terrible illness that is thought to be important for research. The illness will kill you over the next 5 years, but a research facility is willing to pay you $10 for every sneeze you do into a bag. After you die, the research hits a dead end.