Same
Same but somehow I'm not single
So you're either smart or rich
Plot twist she's in his basement
plot twist but it’s him who is trapped there
I am trapped in a basement and single, so good for him?
Someone GET THIS MANS LOCATION WE MUST SAVE HIM
It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again lol
or schizophrenic
Then what the hell are you doing here??? This is Reddit
I'm trying to pop insolated bubbles if crazy people.
He took his hard to swallow pills, but didn't take his schizophrenia pills
Same
ONE OF US ONE OF US
Even harder to swallow: it's about both and more!
How’d you find the name of my porno
Holy fuck dude 💀💀
I don't know how some people can gaslight themselves into believing that either alone can get and KEEP you a partner.
Even harder to swallow pill: You need looks to GET a partner because guess what: People notice looks first and are attracted to looks. And you need character to KEEP a partner.
That's a bit too simplified, imo.
Both looks and character are important at all stages, to varying degrees, besides maybe the stage before the first conversation, where character doesn't matter as much. But even then, character isn't just if you're a good person. It's also how you carry yourself, how you talk to other people, how you present yourself.
And it's not like you can turn into a pig after you grab yourself a partner. I've seen relationships fall apart many times due to the loss of attraction.
Just be your best self both visually and character-wise, that's all you can do. And I don't mean the stereotypical "be yourself", I mean look into the future, who you want to be, and what you can change and how to become that person. Too many times people take "be yourself" as "just do nothing about myself", where it really should be "become your best future self".
In the modern era of internet dating, looks have never been more important
Yeah, saying it's about character is some gaslight bs. If it was"about character" why do assholes have kids? You see people like Hitler and Stalin and pol pot with huge families. "Character".
all of whom are known for being incredibly charismatic.
also, it's unkown if Hitler had children at all.
also also, people with shitty personalities are often attracted to others with shitty personalities.
T H I S
Hardest to swallow: None of this matters much, as life is pretty random.
This is the actual truth. Character and mindset can do a lot for you, but so can a shower and shave.
A shower and a shave won't fix ugly. There are plenty of ugly people with good hygiene, and it's hard to even get past the first conversation with someone you're attracted to if you're straight ugly.
While there are straight ugly yes, you'd be surprised by how much of the world isn't actually ugly, they're just mostly poor and not well taken care of. Check out some people like cristiano ronaldo before and after success, there are so many people that are considered good looking that were hideous, the only thing that changed was that they took care of themselves (and got enough money to TRULY take care of themselves)
Ronaldo got plastic surgery and veneers.
You mean before and after plastic surgery
Terrible example lol
No. Some people are just ugly and no amount of good hygiene, gym, and personality can make them more attractive enough to get a partner. Ya'll are delusional.
Yep. Appearance is first everywhere.
Including situation, like if you stay inside all day and don’t go to many social events like me, you won’t meet many new people and will have a significantly lower chance of finding someone
I’m fine with being single right now and I’m living like this because I have to for my school, but aside from that I can’t really complain about not finding someone here because I’m just not actively putting myself out there
I feel like sometimes people expect someone to just fall out of the sky, but having nobody without putting in work equals nobody
The hardest to swallow: It's different for everyone what matters, there is no one solution.
That's not true, bro. My 5'2" balding Indian friend with a recessed small chin, bloodshot bug eyes, a big crooked nose, a big forehead, big pointy ears, a hunchback, crooked teeth, and a pockmarked face is dating Victoria's Secret models, bro.
My personality is just as awkward as my looks tho
sure theres people who are atttacted to awkward
Sure there are people attracted to feet also
I can attest
From personal experience, no one is attracted to awkward.
I am :D
i feel you bro
Well now it’s extra awkward
Honestly being a relationship with "normal" people is really unpleasant experience. It just not fun and there's a lot of social "chains" that actually do no let the relationship be actually sincere and deep. But in a way "awkward" people is actually best possible people to date. There's no shitty fake persona craps it is what it is and that's in my opinion healthiest thing possible in a relationship.
Looks get you through the door and you gotta be inside for any character to outshine your... shortcomings.
So wait, then it is about looks?
Always have been
Yes. If you have no looks going on, it's extremely unlikely any woman is sticking around long enough to discover your personality
That's just how it be
Same goes for women trying to get men
Kind of, but not really. Your average guy is like a 4. Your average woman is like a 7
Women are genetically better looking. So, unless you're like extremely cursed, genetically, which is very rare to see. Then, your chances of being able to get someone interested are high
Dating is, and has always been much easier for women
It is. It’s a wierd fetishization of reality to believe people are truly only in it for personality. It’s backwards, personality is perceived based on the looks of the person who has it. Being outgoing or being creepy is the same action done by an attractive and unattractive person
It's not binary. Not just looks or just personality. It's the sum of all parts that make a successful... mating
When you say it with the ellipsis it sounds… ominous
Gooooooooood...
Gooooo… oooood
Looks will 100% carry you through to the end, you could be a literal murder and still get laid easily if you're hot.
Looks influence what people think your character is.
Common example touted is that creepy behavior done by ugly people, is exactly the same as confident, flirty behavior, done by attractive people.
It’s about both
Initially yes but to stay in a relationship there need to be more to you than just looks so it’s about both just at different times
Someone once told me "You're a really great guy once people get to know you!"
To which I replied: "What's stopping people from getting to know me?"
could mean you're really fugly or you just have an abrasive personality that most people don't try to get to know you better/you don't let people in and then you ease up as they get closer. lol
Yeah my shortcumings are always a deal breaker
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The Doors needs to be open on your side too. A lot of people look for relationship not knowing they are not ready yet
Jokes on you I have neither
Contrapoint: in the modern world where the majority of couples now meet their SO online/through dating apps, it absolutely is about looks and not character.
I have looks and character. In modern dating, it's all about your pictures. Bad pictures mean no dates. Don't have any good pictures? Shit out of luck. And it's worse for men than women.
I wish I would have good pictures. This alone is an almost impossible task for me. Once I know a picture of myself will be taken, I cannot keep a natural expression, let alone a natural pose. I only have one picture of myself which I like. And it was done by a friend without me noticing. A big, cheerful and natural smile. Too bad this picture is now almost 10 years old and not suited for dating apps anymore
or just don't use dating apps?
Go outside? Enjoy my hobbies and interests I the full view of other people? Make meaningful relationships that aren't predicated on the idea of dating? Never.
Is there any statistics to back up that majority of people now meet their SO online, cause it doesn't seem that way
Only Fans sell a lot of character apparently.
Yeah no you've got a lot more to learn. Physical attraction is always a significant part in any healthy relationship. Great personalities that you aren't attracted to are called friends not lovers.
Yes agree, You need a balance of both
true. however a great character can elevate your attractiveness to some (demisexual people for example) but then it still is about attractiveness.
Yeah, I guess this is the answer to I was about to comment:
What about those girls who told me I wish my <Boyfriend, Husband Name> is like you?
And this is the proper answer.
Dumb take. Theres way to much successful assholes to prove you wrong.
Those assholes also succeed in part due to their character, it's just not very good character. For example, narcissists can probably be successful as only they would be egotistical enough to keep persisting in something they're not qualified for
Also women just need to be pretty. No effort needed. Even mid women have their simps.
Always a side character never the protagonist
Both. Only character = friend. Only looks = fuckbuddy.
It’s about both. Looks gets you in the door, and character determines if you stay or not.
OP is so obviously trying to be self righteous and smug. Simply not true, otherwise there wouldn't be so many horror stories about dating narcissists, assholes, cheaters, gamblers, addicts, etc.
Post made by a 15yo wanting to seem mature and deep.
Yeah it's the same old "you can't find a girlfriend? you must be a bad person with some red flags, stop being a jerk" pretentious shit where they assume your whole life story.
I was thinking that myself.
It's both and I have neither
nah it's looks most of the time
Physical attraction is huge and a hurdle most can't get over
Cope.
A lasting relation will depends on character. But to meet someone for the very first time, it's all about looks.
This is such bullshit.
It's always looks...
...at first.
I thought it was I am not.
6”4.
6 figures.
In shape.
Never married.
Will pay off her debt.
Will become her and her friends' outing ATM
Or an ATM to fund my love of wood carving and craft
Cake
Cope
Yeah, my character is: Autistic.
The realisation that its actualy about drive, its about power.
That’s wrong.
I know this is ment to be a woke take but thinking looks have no bearing is naive, I wish it wasn’t like that (cause I’m ugly af) but it’s true
Try going going down the streets with people letting out a chuckle at your looks, then say the same shit. The truth is looks matter, at least a little bit in most cases. This whole "looks don't matter" is said by the naive at best and the toxic positive delusional at worst.
No because I've noticed how my friends get random stares and I never do.
No...
Only a beautiful person would say that. Beauty is extremely important. Good personality = friend zone.
iN FACT, men with the most toxic personalities are the most successful at flirting. I don't need to give you examples. I am sure you have observed it yourself .
People don’t look at character if you don’t pass the initial looks check
It's only about looks money and toxicity
I've got several people in my classes who show that it's not
My character likes to stay indoors and never talk to anyone. Booo
no amount of character will make for a good partner if you aren’t attracted to them. Looks DO matter they just aren’t the end all be all
I'm single by choice is that weird ??
no?
User deleted comment
3d
*really hard to swallow pills
or because you never meet anyone and don't use any dating apps
dating apps are just OF ads
Bruh religious girls are my new fav, what the world become
Don't call me out like that.
Harder pill to swallow: They won’t even give you a chance to show your personality without looks.
Men, be funny or rich….or both
In high school this guy had a crush on me for years. I didn’t find him attractive, he just wasn’t my type and I didn’t like him back at first. But as we grew older and spent more time together, I started to develop a crush on him too and that was because of his character, especially his sense of humor. So yeah looks are a part of it, but not all the time.
My standards have dropped because of my shitty personality to the point that if a dog would ask me on a date I'd say yes ... (I'm not alright)
I'm asking you on date
People say that but I never seen someone approach another person thinking "that guy that I'm seeing for the first time right now seems to have a good character, I should chat with them some more to get to know them better."
Narcissists must have good character because they're never single.
Leagues exist, humans are acutely aware of their own attractiveness and no amount of personality will help you if you fall under a certain attractiveness. The few exceptions to this rule prove just how strong our assortative instinct is
Even for women..
Why the gaslighting? It's always been about looks. Be honest: how often do you see anyone fangirl about their crush's character?
the hard to swallow pill is actually "blame yourself for how we treat you"
That´s just something ugly people say.
For a GOOD relationship I 100% agree, but the impression I get is that most people go purely for looks and then cry “Wahh why do I always end up in bad relationships”
Charisma, Looks, Money. With no game there's no girl
It's about actually making a move. I know that's hard
As if redditors were good-looking
If that’s the case then why do so many assholes end up in relationships and then end up being abusers?
Looks do matter for atleast the conversation to begin. But in the long run it's the character.
What I don't understand is how handsome or beautiful a person has to be.
Yep and it doesn’t help if you are a minor.
Idk miners are pretty sexy….
I am not sure if we are referencing the same joke but if not, that’s a great coincidence.
Both. Looks to get chance, character to turn the chance into relationship.
It's both
It's both
Looks do matter, believe it or not.
Looks get you in a relationship, character lets you make it last.
Sure, looks alone get you nowhere. Nor does character.
Jokes on you i lack both.
Its a big mix of both
It’s about both and they influence each other. Not looking after yourself and your appearance says a lot about your character.
Choosing your looks as your defining trait also says a lot about your character.
To find and to be a good potential partner, you must consider and work on both.
Yep, you also gotta have money.
That's a lie. I was walking in a park, and one girl turned away her head, probably in disgust.
I red your comment and had to check. Good one
Looks do matter for a good bunch
U just dont need to be a super model
In the end, beauty fades away and you’re only left with personality.
Be careful man. I'm surrounded by aging people who's looks BECAME their personality.
And looks
Yup. It matters. For all genders.
Looks for one night stand
Character for relentships
Pretty simple to keep in mind
If you have neither, you need money.
Nah, I'm single because I'm autistic, spend all my free time inside, and I'm pretty sure I'm aromatic. So ya know, dont feel like dumping that mess on someone.
Or you just don't try and are stuck in the past
Moralistic nonsense. People link for all sorts of reasons
*money
The funny thing is in video game terms these two words mean the same thing.
It is much easier to make a good first impression if you look good.
Well I just suck at talking to girls.
In my experience, it is always the people that have no real problems in looks department that claim this garbage :D
That... that just makes it even worse
Bullshit, it's both, and whoever tells you otherwise is either coddling you or being extremely dense.
Character won't sell on dating apps before the match.
The looks are the foot in the door.
Does shyness count as character? If not then its definitiv just looks. Everybody tells me i'm one of the nicest persons they know🤷
In most cases you need some looks for someone to give your character a shot
Cause you got swiped left.
Mmm, a lack of enough socialization i would say. And a terrible bad luck
It's about luck
Everyone should just be gay. It’s much easier.
Autism is my answer 👍
No
It's not one of the other, you gotta have both
I'm broke and unattractive so I have resorted to being single my entire life.
Judging by the amount of people recorded stating that what they require, and finding out “character” isn’t even on the list, is kind of hilarious. Character is important but its purpose is to sell the package that is you. That said, if someone offers you a choice between a new Honda Civic or Ferrari for the same price, the salesman is CLEARLY going to have an easier time selling one versus the other.
Its not about character only... its how good you can lie get away with it
Well, you gotta have something act as a foil so people can see your character. Shared social situations, etc. To get to the foil with a wider array of people you will likely need an attractor to open that opportunity; charisma, looks, talents, etc.
Well fck I'm screwed either way 🤣🤣
Looks opens the door, character closes it.
I think it’s pure luck. +10% to 50% luck based on what kind of school you grew up in and parents raised you (and also where you live)
I have neither👍