Question for owners of hairy arms: my daughter is self conscious about hers...

FAMILY/KIDS

Sorry, I dunno how else to phrase the title!

But as per the title, my daughter, who is eleven, is self conscious about her hairy arms. To the extent she is wearing long sleeves to school and her mum (who she lives with) had to take her to the doctor for mild heat stroke the other day.

Her mum is thinking about getting them Lasered off which seems a bit extreme to me for an eleven year old (and I can't even see the hairs in question, lol), but as a guy I don't really have a good perspective on this.

I did get some advice from my sisters, but was wondering if anyone on here had any additional perspectives, either as a parent or someone who went through something like this themselves.

Edit: thanks for all the replies! Really helpful. Working my way through them now!

Also thanks for the downvote friendly Redditor! Hope you find yourself in a better place soon!

in japanlifeby Youareafunt

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Sensitive-Coffee-Cup

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Sorry for butting in, but I've had laser hair removal done, and I'm currently in the process of getting my arm hair lasered off too.

I absolutely understand your concerns, and it's great that you're not putting your foot down about this, even with your reservations. Navigating social expectations as a young teenage girl is a very complicated affair, and everything can become a crushing complex that will drill a hole into your self-esteem. The best you can do for her is give her all the support she needs to build that self confidence. And yeah, sometimes it'll mean having to cave in.

To answer your questions:

The procedure is pretty easy, I'm assuming she'll be going to a clinic of some kind, only professionals are allowed to operate those machines.

One session for the arms is about 20 minutes, it won't be exactly painful, more like annoying. Like a rubber band that keeps hitting your skin, but she'll probably be given a numbing cream to apply about 1h30/2hrs before the session in order to lessen it. She'll be wearing glasses for protection. She'll be given another numbing cream to apply after the session since her skin will be a little red.

They'll also advise not to go under the sun because tanning will make it dangerous to use the laser and if the staff does their job correctly, they'll always ask her if she went somewhere on vacation or went under the sun before a session.

On average she'll need about 10 sessions, one session every 4 to 6 weeks. That's about a year of treatment but she'll see the results from the get go, especially at the 3-4th one. Hair will be more scarce, and finer.

People usually need about 7 to 9 sessions to have complete hair removal, but that depends on genetics.

Now the only "risk" aside from the burn from tanning (but as I said, they always ask and they never start lasering if they see that the skin is tanner than before), is what doctors call paradoxical growth: hair might start growing in another place where it wasn't before. It's very rare (I've never had it and I don't know anyone in my circle who had laser hair removal and developed paradoxical growth), but it happens, and so they have to tell your daughter about it. If she notices hair growth somewhere else, she can tell them and they'll take care of it.

Another thing is her age: she's a preteen, which means her hormones will be completely wack for a few years. Hormonal imbalance does impact hair growth. Laser hair removal will work, but because she's still growing, she might have to do one or two extra sessions a year afterwards, depending on how things in her body develop going forward.

Youareafunt

Thank you, again, super helpful. One of the things I worry about is that as a preteen her body will go through changes anyway; so personally I would rather she wait till she goes through puberty to see whether that will affect her hair growth before doing anything about it. But I realise that has potential downsides too, so just trying to navigate through all these options while giving her whatever support she needs.

But your answer was super clear and very informative, thank you.

Sensitive-Coffee-Cup

Honestly, having talked a bunch with the nurse who's been lasering me (it's been a year now and they always make conversation to take your mind off the pain), they prefer to wait until hormones and chemicals are settled (early 20's), for maximum efficiency and financial reasons: there's a possibility that when you start, as your hormones are still unbalanced, you might need to get more sessions.

I've been thinking about lasering my hair since I was a teen because I used to be a bear and it sucked. Saved up to start at 18 but the technology wasn't as mature then and I was a bit scared about side effects. I only got to it in my very late 20's. By then it wasn't so much about external validation and more for myself and out of convenience (saving up on trips to the beauty technician, not having to worry when going for a swim etc).

However, in your daughter's case, having to wait that long might take its toll on her (self-esteem and all that), especially if she's been picked on about it before. Like I said, not easy being a teenage girl. What she can do, is have a few sessions done and see how she likes it. She can stop any time and start again at a later age.

You're welcome!

shoujikinakarasu

Might be more cost-effective for now to get a good low-key at home system for hair removal (isn’t there a zapper/puller that isn’t quite laser level for this?)- if your wife and she can learn to do at-home waxing/sugaring or even just shaving (or Nair?) Having the skill to self-wax can pay off down the line.

And hopefully you can help your daughter love herself as she is and be able to also appreciate at the same time that grooming is a skill that she can be proud of acquiring and that can give her some agency over how she presents herself to the world. If she’s into Webtoons (hopefully without spending coins on them 😅), she might enjoy “True Beauty” in a couple of years- or you can read it together as a family (at a pace where it stays free- never any to encourage anyone spending $ on it, unless you buy the book version or sth)

ExcessiveEscargot

You can get home IPL kits fairly cheap.

meneldal2

Home IPL doesn't work as well as real laser, but you don't really have to worry much about aftercare and avoiding the sun for like 2 weeks.

But laser for just arms isn't really that much, and with the new machines you barely feel anything (if you think it hurts on the arm, you're definitely not ready for other parts)