stipulations:
I've played that mod in Plague Inc
I do live in sin city after all, I’m sure I could find someone fun to eat. I’ve met a few famous people I would have taken a drink of…Vince Neil, Oj, steel panther
Idk man I'd wanna hang someplace like summerlin just to avoid the hard risks of second hand drug use lol
Hey that’s where my home is-summerlin area-I have to rest sometime! The strip is for play but I have to sleep eventually.
Bold choices... Gotta test that super immune system somehow.
Boutta be a vigilante 🧛♀️
Would you be batman batman? Or manbat batman?
I’m gonna slim out certain governments that desperately need “maintenance”…
It’s Morbin time.
I would just be Man.
Nah. Crimson Mist Batman.
And then snap their necks
Where do I sign up?
Am I like an Anne Rice vampire? Can I fly read minds so I can feast on bad guys? I would serial kill so many child predators.
I'll say no flying, no mind-reading
I’ll pass. Thanks
Would that change your mind?
It would change mine for sure
Why that got downvoted is beyond me
Because this is reddit lol
Fourth response
People like it when you just telll them they can be as strong as they want. They don’t like any push back on the idea they are super strong
Damn, I wanted flying. No mind reading is fine, but flying would be amazing.
Even if someone says no mind reading... If you've been on this planet long enough, and you hunt humans for food, you can read people. You don't need mind reading. Your experience as a predator would enable you to read people's personalities, intentions... I think you could just see it if someone was a child predator.
For real. You'd get really good at it. If this was me?
I'd become a private detective. I'd focus on really hard core cases - abuse, missing kids etc. I'd have decades of experience building up. And the supernatural strength and speed would give me advantages. Historically vampires are also seen as stealthy so I'm going to assume I have that too.
I'm immortal and can't get sick, which means long nights in the cold are meaningless for stakeouts (ba dum tiss).
The most important factor, however, is that I can figure out who the bad guys are and act accordingly. Oh you beat your wife and kids? Welcome to my larder. You are a gang banger who shot at another gang banger in a crowd killing three people and totally missing your target? Honestly, society is better off with you in my larder. Oh you are a hedge fund manager shorting stocks that don't do massive layoffs and ship jobs to Mexico? Welcome to my larder!
I get to feed, and society heals!
thats an interesting idea, and honestly be pretty cool for a show maybe. You just need to hope they never call you in during the day. or that your stakeout doesnt go longer than hoped and you end up at day.
yeah but imagine how that adds tension to the show? Right you know that our anti-hero vampire detective can take on any scum he runs across. However, he DOES have weaknesses. And in a universe where people know about vampires - even if they don't necessarily believe - you'll encounter smart villains who start to figure out that Detective Countula doesn't ever show up when the team meets at a Church. Or maybe never takes on priests or something - even when they do evil.
OOOOO
Genius idea. The first season bad guy is a Pedophile Priest!!! And Detective Vance Dalca has to figure out how to fight the priest throughout the season.
That show exists and its called Angel lol
Exactly! I could totally make this work for the good of society too! Just think of all the herd thinning we could do!!
I read somewhere that if vampires were to be real, they'd need to drink blood for the vitamin D since sunlight/UV will kill them, but we live in a time with 24/7 pharmacies that sell all types of vitamins and nutrients you could be lacking so it wouldn't be hard to go to a pharmacy at night to get whatever vitamins you may need to curb your craving of blood and not have to kill, I'd do it though regardless
"Chello! I vant to saaarck your ... Vitamin D nutritional supplements."
You know, I'd like to see that movie!
Once Bitten or My Best Friend Is A Vampire do that, kinda. Cant remember which
Both quality 80s movies
So what you’re really saying is that there would suddenly be a (possibly growing) economic incentive for more pharmacies to be open 24/7
If they already aren't! I live in Australia and there's usually a 24/7 chemist in every town but I'm guessing places like the US it'll be a huge deal
Fellow Ozzy, my regional city had one or two 24/7 chemists but they stopped being open overnight during covid and never went back to those hours.
Unfortunately many stores in the US stop being 24/7 due to covid and never went back
One of the many corporate crimes of Covid. That and the price of TP.
There's always burglary.
Do the expiration dates matter to vampires?
But they are at least open late enough to be open after dark, even in the height of summer. If not, they might do a delivery, since Vitamin D is not a controlled, regulated, or script needed substance?
They used to be all over, along with 24 hour grocery stores. Then COVID happened and now everything closes by 22:00
Why do vampires require all the same vitamins as humans in the first place?
From my unprofessional opinion on the matter, I always assumed it's a virus that we're hosting in our body, like werewolves, zombies and other monsters, they're all humans who have been turned, but if there was a first "pure" vampire, he'd probably have a unique set of rules vs the ones we know of
So... the first vampire doesn't need the same nutrients as a human but the rest do because they're just human with a virus?
Yes
Yeah, but they might also lack the digestive framework to absorb the vitamins in pill form.
That is a really good point, we don't know how the stomach and bloodwork of a vampire works either, if vampires are ever found to exist we may get answers!
Nah. Vampires drink blood because they're magic.
You can’t take supplements. You’re a vampire.
Can I still eat garlic or is that a problem ?
No garlic
No deal.
I honestly think that's the biggest drawback.
Fr man I need that Garlic bread
That’s the biggest dealbreaker. You just talked yourself out of a vampire.
Literally my deal breaker. Give me garlic and I’m in.
Yeah fuck it I don’t got a lot going on rn
In the original story, sunlight didn’t kill or even hurt Dracula. It just made him lose his powers.
And not even entirely.
Also, I’m pretty sure a stake through the heart isn’t exactly a way to die that’s exclusive to vampires.
Truth, and in the OG story it wasn’t even a stake that got Dracula, it was a Texan with a Bowie knife.
Here’s the real question: was the death due to the Bowie knife going through a vital organ or because it was a Texan?
Why not both?
The idea for Stakes or Silver Bullets or crushing the brain isn't that these don't work on other creatures, but that they're the only way to kill a monster. Hit a Vampire with a sword and it bounces off their skin. Shoot a Therianthrope with a shotgun and the wounds seal over before you can reload. Cut off a Zombie's legs and they keep crawling. You need specialized methods to kill the supernatural.
theres millions of other stories and some even before the dracula story was told.
Not worth it if you get burned alive in the sun.
I'm ginger
thats manageable. just sleep during the day.
the problem is being a corpse. cant even enjoy the benefits of being a vampire.
Not all types of vampire are corpses
Am I an animate corpse or actually alive? Also, do I straight up just die if exposed to sunlight/uv, or does it give me enough time to try and quickly get outta said light?
Animate corpse (no pulse, no heartbeat). It burns like stinging fire so yes technically enough time but it's like actually getting engulfed in flames.
That happens to me anyway, I will burn in 2 minutes flat.
Looks like I'm going on a keto liquid diet.
I'm a pass, that's not worth it
That is a really hard question. Just the idea of someone being a vampire due to alot of these factors, would cause hysteria, which would be extremely dangerous causing "witch" hunts and even a danger for myself.
The pure chaos it would cause would honestly be worth it. So I would say, yes. I would choose to be a vampire. If for no other reason but to be a nightmare to kids at night.
I work nights, can't stand most people, and have some issues I can't get taken care of because I don't have health insurance. Where do I sign up?
I'd be a Twilight vampire...
Well it doesn’t say human blood so I’m just gonna feed off a cow. I prefer the night so not going out during the day is fine. I would pay someone to take care of my lawn. Eventually I will get some amazing sunscreen made so that I would be able to go out during the day. Become a mma fighter stack money and go about your night
Good idea, then use some of the money to start your own cow farm
Or just work in a slaughterhouse… “Boy Mark, those cows you drained sure are clean!” “It’s a gift.”
lol they might get mad that all the flavor is missing from the steaks but worth a try
I’d probaly do it if I had time to prepare. That’s a big lifestyle change and I couldn’t do it out of nowhere, I’d probaly have troubling getting the blood nessessary. I’d need to get a job I can work from home and build up contacts before. If it’s random then yes if I have enough of a nest egg built up.
Does it heal chronic illnesses? If yes, I'm in!!
2 pints is too much
Normally in Vampire Lore, animal blood is also able to be drank as an alternative to Human blood. I would like to do that. Unless True Blood-style synthetic blood is invented.
I would do all of that especially if the two pints could be Ben and Jerry's or a similar, delicious, ice cream, instead.
Sign me up!!
Ben and Jerry's or a similar, delicious, ice cream,
Why would it be ice cream you are a vampire?
Well as it's a hypothetical and you require two pints a day, I thought, "why not two pints of ice cream?!"
Nah.
Nah sounds like too much hard work.
Do i regenerate and can i starve?
why not. knowing myself, i'd accidentally un-unalive myself before a week is through.
The sunlight problem is pretty easy - you just move between far north and south hemisphere for winter in each when it's dark most of the time. Since you don't get sick and don't have a beating heart, the cold shouldn't be a problem. Anyway yeah if you can get a supply of human blood from a blood bank or something, not a problem. If you have to kill people constantly.... yeah nah I'll pass on that one.
If indirect sunlight or through a somewhat thin covering is fine then it ‘ah be with it. After you make it to like South Asia then it’s free pickings and you can begin building your legacy.
I mean, it's canon in every vampire lore that moonlight is safe, so indirect/reflected sunlight should, assuming not from a mirror or other "harsh" reflective surface, be safe too?
No fucking way. The sun beaming down on me while manateeing in the pool is too good. And I love sunsets too much.
In a heartbeat
In a lot of vampire stories, there’s heavy focus on newborn vampires having unavoidable or inevitable first kills. When we are introduced to “civilized” vampires who can get their blood through other means it’s usually after they’ve had their fair share of death.
I don’t feel that someone should die so that I could live forever.
Ummm, what year was Buffy The Vampire Slayer first a thing? Thank you IMDB, it was 1997; and in a HEARTBEAT since that time (omg more than half my life lol) I would cheerfully become a vampire in that world, which seems compatible with your terms and conditions
Absolutely, without a second thought
So, the question I have is all UV radiation dangerous? What amount is acceptable? If it's literally zero, no vampire is going to live that long.
OMFG yes.
So, the question I have is all UV radiation dangerous? What amount is acceptable? If it's literally zero, no vampire is going to live that long.
Immortality, cannot get sick, super strength and speed are very tempting. Living as a nocturnal recluse and committing crimes each night is not ideal. Who else knows about it beside myself? UV lamps are very common, in many places there are UV bugs lamp that stay on all night. Creating more vampires could be a great currency to offer to people but also would generate potential rivals. Would other vampires be able to create more vampires? If yes the world would be overly vampirized within just a couple of years and Earth would be full of withdrawing vampires with not enough blood to feed everybody.
A bad deal overall, the chances of enjoying the pros are minimal compared to the chance of it ending badly.
Am I able to bite my dog to turn her into a vampire-dog?
Did you get regeneration regress into your prime form sure without a doubt.
Start vampire cult, make inner circle, inner circle knows you're a vampire and is promised vampirism upon feeding you for the 100th time, if they freak out, they get drained. (All vampire reveals are done in private). Fuck bitches, drink blood, make more vampires if you're cults vampire population gets too big you make a new branch in a semi distant city, repeat.
Nah, If I am going to be a Vampire, I am going to be like Blade.
If these are the only caveats, without saying we need to kill to feed or that we can’t have basic feeling for things like pleasure and joy then it’s a tempting offer. Might take it if my wife and puppy get to do it too.
Yes then I am taking over the world by playing the stock market for centuries.
Yeah. I think it would be tough at first, but the end-goal would be immense wealth, a massive underground bunker to live in and a large amount of well-paid, willing blood donors to keep the jitters away.
I would like to say yes but I know I would somehow accidentally step into sunlight. Is the sunlight an insta kill? Or do you have to be exposed till you burn to death.
As long as I dont have to date Kristin Stewart 🤮
You could drink that much blood without killing your victim. If you have a small roster of humans to drink from in exchange for some benefit to them, you'd never have to kill anyone or hunt.
There's a big enough vampire fandom community that it wouldn't be that hard to find people to feed off of.
I live in a foggy/rainy city. It wouldn't be overly hard to avoid the sun. Especially with all the sun protection options we have available.
I wouldn't mind being immortal.
i prefer not losing my tan then being immortal
Is this like buffy vampires and if I get sunlight damage can I heal with blood?
You son of a bitch, I'm in.
No, I like my life.
Yep.
Well, it's practically impossible to get zero UV, so probably not
Heroine withdrawals ends after 5-7 days so I just have to wait it out and become a sexy immortal vampire woman. Sounds good to me.
I would want to be a vampire, but the version from Vampire Diaries. This would still be pretty accurate, but I'd be able to get a ring or something to protect me from the sun, and the fangs are retractable.
So being undead would suck; being undead technically does not give me an illusion of non biological issues. They would arise immortal or not
How do you turn someone into a vampire and if you do are you able to control them ?
Do you need to ask me this? Of course I would!!!
Sure why not.
Sign me up.
What does the blood taste like? Blood? Or like a cherry slushie? I know I would crave blood, but if it still tastes the same as it does as a human, then no thanks.
there are kind of vampire i would like to become but not this one. without mind powers i would arouse to much suspicion and be hunted within a week a month at most.
Yes.
So is sunlight like instant death or does it take time to kill
Absolutely, there's so much I could learn and do with immortality. I spend most of my time inside anyway, so the sun isn't much of a problem.
Yes. I'd just drink DMEM
Can I learn to control my blood addiction?
are there going to be sexy parties where everyone is dressed like old timey aristocrats?
Do you get the hypnotic powers as well? Like are you a Dracula or a Buffy style vampire (who is not Dracula)
Can I still get pissed?
Yes.
Would I have to give up my family? Would I have an urge to feed on them when I see them or am I in control? This would factor heavily into my decision.
Probably beats being a wage slave
Am I Camarilla, Sabbat, or Anarch ?
True Brujah. 4th gen. Black hand. temporis
Can I also have the innate ability to know if it is night and how long until dawn? Otherwise my ADHD will get me killed so quickly.
Nope. Lycanthropy for life. 🐺🙃
Hell yeah I would. Chicks dig vampires and I already avoid the sun.
Immortal. Yes please.
There’s no good thing abut this deal so no xd
2 pints of human blood a day is a bit extreme, I m pretty sure most vampires in modern fictions can do with just one pint a week
Ya I'm down - I can probably design a skin suit for myself during the day - after 50 or so years I'd be filthy rich forever. I'd move somewhere that the sun is barely up or perhaps I'd just move to the hemisphere that has winter going on every 6 months.
How does the turning happen? Is my only power immortality or do i get all the trappungs of vampirism as well?
Only if we’re like the horny true blood vampires. They seemed like they had a good time.
Yes
Immediately.
Probs not just because you can only come out at night, I’d miss the daytime. And what’s the point of being immortal if you cant go and hang on the beach sometimes?
Do you have to drink human blood? Does each feast have to kill the host?
yes
Damn I'd have so manyyy questions before I could answer.
It sounds good in theory, however from my experience the sweeter something sounds the bigger a catch it has. I'm not an automatic no, but also not a guaranteed yes. I need extreme context.
Damn I wanted to be Blade😮💨
Dude screw that. Why would you want to be a vampire? Imagine never feeling the sunshine again? Or even going outdoors during the day? That'd suck.
And where are you going to get two pints of blood from every day? Sounds pretty inconvenient.
And being immortal.. I'm not so keen on the next 50 years.
The big issue for me is garlic. I absolutely love garlic, otherwise I would've been a vampire yesterday. Am I allergic to garlic in this scenario?
Of course I'd be a vampire. I'd live in a city so that I had ample access to blood.
100% where is the sign up clipboard
Never, that level of insanity is so agonizingly lonely like everyone dies and you just kill and drink alone- turning anyone else into a vampire is just cruel so that still means (in my case) being alone forever. No thx
Yes.
Only if I can get an ability of some sorts that can let me stop time, freeze people's limbs, or shoot lasers out my eyes.
I’d be the worlds most miserable vampire. I like being in the sun and I eat a ton of garlic*. Also, drinking blood and killing people is probably not my thing either.
*Can you even eat actual food if you’re a vampire? Does your body just reject it? I’m not giving up pizza for immortality.
I'd miss pizza too damn much.
Going to miss laying out by the pool in the sun, but I could have cool vampire night time pool parties.
Of course I would. I’m really hoping to even if there are drawbacks. Please let this be a thing…please.
Not me. Werewolf, on the other hand...
Huh, wonder if I'll have to use a crossbow or if I could just make wood buckshot pellets?
Also, ill need to procure enough holy water to fill a super soaker.
Most definitely
Even setting aside the whole need to hurt people implication, the downside isn't the hunger, it's the logistics. You'd get caught, attract attention, get dissected in a lab. Van Helsing and Blade aren't 1/10th as scary as a bunch of Navy SEALs.
Do you have to feed on living humans? If so, in modern society, you'd get noticed. There was this awesome early internet thing years ago where someone basically did the math laying out how if in Buffy, the series, as many vampires as the series implied run around kill even a conservative number of people, some absurd number of homicides would have to happen in that town, and it's this huge glaring plot hole.
In general an adult can donate one pint every two months. You'd need well over a hundred people regularly feeding you. Making that happen, would be really, really hard to do without getting noticed.
I'm in no downsides I can see
100% yes but not where I live haha there's mostly sun and only a few hours of night
Where do i sign up?
Yeah
Yes... only for the fact that people would leave me the fuck alone... and I would only feed on pedos and r*pists... so the world would be a better place
Is there a reason I can't drink animal blood if human isn't available or is unethical?
i would i already avoid the sun anyways
In a heartbeat. Pun intended. Fear of injury or death holds me back from a lot of things, thanks anxiety. Especially if I can get my loved ones to join me.
Work for the CIA. You get to feed on your targets and the CIA takes care of the immortal identity issue.
I play Vampire the Masquerade, you won't get me that easy, Second Inquisition!
Needs more vampire abilities. Think Skyrim
I'd do it just for the adventure of being a vamp. I've dated vamps
I just want to suck blood and fuck forever.
The issue here for me is I still have to make money somehow....if I was granted an estate like Dracula or something to go along with it then yes no problem. The issue with money though is I either work nights and never get to go out period or I work like 3 twelves from dawn to dusk every day, but those are weird hours to begin with let alone along with pay that'd be worth it so money aside I'm going with yeah let's go
There’s that pesky “gotta die” part so I guess it depends on what kind of vampire…
I would be super tempted, though if you really stop to think about it, actually finding blood every day without getting caught would be endless hard work. I guess the best bet would be to get some vampire groupies as quick as possible so you have a free source ready?
Part of me wants to say yes, but at the same time, I want my fwb to be a vampire so she can bite my neck more than she already does.
or stake thru heart
who wouldn't die from that?
Beats the alternative so sure.
Nah, out with the sunlight aspect. Now give me a daylight ring and yes, absolutely. It also depends on the “rules”, like obviously I’d be a vampire diaries vampire but not sure about other series
Sure as long as I can still have sex/get hard. Not sure how that works in vampire world cause of the cold blood and all
Can I turn into a bat
In a heartbeat
A stake through the heart or decapitation will kill pretty much anything, not just vampires. Maybe it might be better to be a starfish than a vampire.
Everything else is dependent upon who is writing the story. Since vampires aren't real, but manipulative bastard villains who take advantage of people are, no, I'd not like to be that. "Vampire" just seems to be the flavor of "bad guy" that suits the themes of the narrative.
Fuck yeah
Guess somewhere is about to have a vampire problem