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He seems a bit insecure if anything. If you’re willing to put up with it, go on the date. Otherwise, bail.
I think you should just ask him what he’s looking for.
Behavior is a bit weird, but you’ll never know until you ask what he wants and you meet up.
After 2 days clingy texts and constant updates is a red flag I’d pay attention to.
Genuinely interested to know why updates on his day to day snippets is considered a red flag? When a guy does this I thought he just wanted to share what he’s been up to
The constant updates combined with the clinging behavior after only 2 days shows an unhealthy attachment to someone you haven’t met and don’t really know.
The updates are perfect fine if it’s after a date or two and you’ve both decided to continue with a more serious relationship in mind. But before you’ve meet there’s no reason for me to know exactly what you’re up to and be included in that.
I prefer to text for a day or so, get the basics down and set up a date. I usually won’t talk to the person again until the day of the date.
Why don't you just hop on a FaceTime call and feel the vibe? That way you don't have to sit through an awkward date if you don't mesh in person. It's saved me from a dozen of disaster dates so I do it almost everytime.
I hate FaceTime and I’m sure I’d come off as awkward that way. Hell, my best friend loves it and so sometimes I’ll do it for her and I’m always awkward talking to her on it. I’ve known that bitch for going on 20 years and am a chatty person but you would not know that if you saw us videoing 🤣. I mean, I’m sure as a general rule of thumb it’s is successful in weeding out the real bad interactions so I’m gonna have to keep this in mind.
He’s very insecure. If he’s already acting like this, you are constantly going to be managing his feelings
That insecurity will likely play out in petty jealousy, control issues, boundary issues, high emotional maintenance and reassurance- energy draining at best, and maybe even eventually abuse.
You're not looking for a hookup and he obviously isn't, but before you even get to the date part, you should let him know that he doesn't need to text you every 5 minutes. You may be the hottest chick he's ever been in contact with so he is being extra cautious.
It really depends how much you're willing to compromise/be patient. He clearly is a very insecure person. Some find it endearing, some don't.
Unfortunately you can't tell what anyone's looking for unless they tell you, and even then some people only tell you what you want to hear. Either way, I'd definitely suggest asking him what he's looking for.
To me he sounds very insecure, with the constant updates and that message on your IG. I've had some experiences with insecure dudes who would go from hot to cold, and having to constantly reassure them I'm interested was pretty emotionally taxing.
Either way, ask him his intentions, if you're still interested then go on the date and see how you hit it off.
So true. I dated a guy for a bit that was super respectful and we didn’t hook up until the 4th date. All the signs pointed toward wanting a long term monogamous relationship on both sides. Then out of the blue he asked how I feel about open relationships, and said he doesn’t commit to monogamy. You literally never know what someone is thinking until you ask
Sounds like a ‘Pick Me Boy’…
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Pick%20me%20boy
He is probably just insecure. If you are looking for a relationship, think very hard if you are up for something like that, cause he will need reassurance a lot. But you'll never find a more loyal guy than the insecure one.
Not true. Given the opportunity, the insecure ones are the likeliest to cheat for the validation. Learned the hard way.
Damn, sorry that happened to you, that sucks.
He sounds like he might emotionally drain you if you were to be in a relationship with him. You can give it a shot but I’d honestly run. I’ve dated guys like this and if he’s already this insecure 2 days in I can’t imagine what it’s like 2 months or 2 years in. He needs to work on himself before trying to date. If you can’t love yourself you can’t love anybody else. If you feel his behavior is strange then listen to your intuition.
better to know this about him earlier than later. one thing to be mindful of with insecure folks is that it does not magically go away. there’s a high chance he meets you and he still feels the same, if not more so than before linking up. it’s up to you if even wanna entertain it, but as someone who’s been on both ends - just dead it. growth has to occur with ppl like this and it ain’t your obligation to be there while it takes place
This story is really strange. If a less attractive person texted you the way you were describing, I feel like the person would get blocked. So I'm wondering why those updates aren't a red flag because you paint the picture that it's really strange the way he's doing it. Is he traditionally not the most attractive dude or is he an attractive dude with bad self esteem? Either way, that sorta energy is pretty off putting. Because he has to believe in himself more than that. Honestly, why do you like him? Those two things, the clingy updates and the massive indication that he thinks he's not good enough just reeks of someone who I think most girls would steer clear from.
Love how she contradicted herself calling him weird then saying it’s cute.
He seems very insecure.
You describe his insecure behaviour throughout your post - do you recognise it as insecure behaviour? His final fish for compliments from you was certainly more overt, but I'll give you some advice as someone with a few years on you.
It might seem 'cute' now that this guy wants to talk to you all the time and seems to want validation from you. It will become the opposite of cute very, very quickly. I would also consider this kind of clingy behaviour as red flag behaviour - and i don't throw that term around lightly. Clingers typically turn into someone who is controlling/manipulative very quickly, and will drain you dry of all that brings you joy.
Dating someone with raging, unresolved insecurities is a nightmare. And by "unresolved" I mean people who expect other people to constantly make them feel better and take zero personal responsibility for their own emotional and mental wellbeing.
Also, stop worrying so much about dating intentions before you've even met someone. Sure it's fine to have a brief Q&A before meeting, but what people say matters very little. How they behave is what you need to be keeping an eye on.
Insecurity is a massive red flag for me, from experience
It can come off cute/quirky to those new to it. Insecurity is a veil that hides many other issues when trying to build a relationship with someone.
Although I am a guy, nothing seems that alarming. The comment seems consistent with his prior anxious-attachment behavior. None of us are perfect. If his only sin currently is that he thinks you're too pretty, you're doing ok. If he gets too simpy, you can reasses later.
I say see how the date feels.
I mean, he already required reassurance and they haven't even met yet. OP can either video call him or have the date and see what he's like. But she'll need to keep these things in mind.
Yeah this guy is anxious attachment style and a little anxious in general. Up to you if you want to keep going. If I were you and you’ve enjoyed talking and find him cute, I’d say give him a pass this once. It may just be nerves.
If it keeps up though it’s likely to persist and he probably is inexperienced when it comes to dating.
He lacks confidence. Maybe he’ll gain some on the date. If the date goes well but he goes back to acting insecure, he probably isn’t going to change that behavior any time soon.
This guy sounds like a fucking loser
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