Is oral sex on women a turn off?

Sex scenes without performing oral on a woman takes me out of it.

So many series get the MC a Blowjob then he never returns the favour 😭

I'm of the opposite frame of mind. I find fellatio to be degrading to women, but cunnilingus to show women thier due respect. If the MC wants to show his harem members how much he values them, he needs to regularly perform cunnilingus on them. If they're FULLY satisfied, via regular cunnilingus, they will move mountains for the MC. In short, of the MC treats them right, they will treat him right too.

Quite the opposite, honestly.

I find little else more erotic and sensual than giving my wife head. I love it. I'd almost rather do that than most other stuff. So no, it's not a turn off for me in the genre. In fact, I find rye characters who don't/won't to be rather selfish and jerk-ish. Like, they are so happy to get head from their harem girls, but won't return the favor? GMAB!

I have a personnel opinion that any good partner should be willing to reciprocate UNLESS they have had a very important conversation with their partner about not wanting to.

If my partner had that conversation I’d simply check in with them if the moment required it or not bring it up again but leave the door open via “if you ever change your mind just let me know and we’ll talk”

Honestly I think I would be hooked on a story that explored consent like that as a way of opting out, not overlooking, scenes of oral sensation other than phalic/male centered.

I definitely understand that the term harem often gets confused with Orgy and that’s not always the case. Most of the time I see threesomes etc here and there but it’s frankly more focused on each girls experiences with the MC or visa-versa.

All of this to say, hey fellow writer, it’s all good, don’t try toooooo hard to pander to your audience because their will always be people who want to voice a negative opinion and they are usually the loudest even if they are the minority. Knock the socks off the audience figuratively and literally in a way you feel you are writing at your best. Now take all that encouragement with a grain of salt. I might be a massive nerd and supporter of this genre but I am not a published author yet and can’t speak to that true experience even if I am currently attempting to write what could someday be something.

The best of luck and do the most important thing ever; never give up.

People get squeamish about it?

This feels like an older opinion. My assumption is that younger readers prefer equality when it comes to things like oral. So you'd need to understand your demographic better to know whether or not your books primarily cater to older readers or younger ones to know which opinion you should listen to.

You can't please everyone, so you need to roughly identify the biggest group you think you can please and then lock down what you write to the interests of that group. Trying to overreach will make you work bland and uninteresting, too small and you'll never have enough readers to make it worth it.

Unless your works are specifically targeting older readers, I'd err on the side of the younger views just to be safe. That way you don't accidentally alienate a new reader later on.

I think writing market sounds terrible, like we already have way to many generic garbage harem fantasy lit that I have to wage through to find something decent.

I feel like the majority of people or more than fine with, overwhelming so. It seems like a boomer problem if I'm being honest.

Never really heard anyone complain about it tbh. Oral sex both ways feels super vanilla.

“I'm writing to market.”

Don’t do this. Yes, it’s perfectly fine to write in a specific genre, but what you’re asking is “Should I as an author cater to the preferences of a small population of potential readers?”

Why would you do that? So you can write generic, soulless garbage that an AI could churn out?

I found this genre by accident. I’m still not a huge fan, and often find myself laughing a some of the sex scenes that feel out of place. However if the story is good, the story is good. If the storyline can capture my attention and keep me listening/reading, I will likely pick up additional titles by the author.

Ask yourself not just how many readers you want, but what kind of readers. With the way you’re approaching it now, you may find yourself catering to a small demographic that you may not really want.

I think this is a catch-22 because you can't make everyone happy. If you write about it, some people will be grossed out. If you don't, some people accuse you about not being equal. Do what makes you feel right.

Personally, I think it is erotic for both parties to enjoy the act. It's a two-way street. If you don't write about it. It doesn't phase me in the slightest.

The only thing that grosses me out is rim Jobs (oral on the anus). Yeah, that is a no-go for me. Licking or squeezing the ass cheeks. I am good with. Actually, licking the anus itself. 100% gross for me.

No way!! Not for me, anyway 🤣

Going down on a woman is a massive turn-on for me.

A MMC who doesn't, is missing out, is selfish, and I'll find it difficult to relate to him.

I get that there are men who don't enjoy cunnilingus, and that there's that whole weird Junior Soprano style hang up, but I think that's pretty rare.

And going down on a girl is pretty vanilla. I love smut in my books, and I'll happily take it a lot kinkier than cunnilingus.

As a guy that grew up in the 70’s I never had a woman say no to me pleasing them, for me it gave me pleasure knowing I was making someone I cared for feel good.

Cunnilingus is for pussies...

So do it.

Twice.

You gotta chow on your woman’s naughty bits! Taste the honey, savor her nectar, and lick her like a lollipop! Remember, if your eyelids aren’t sticky, then you didn’t do it right.

Men who irl don’t give their women head and make them quiver like bowls of jello are weak.

i feel you shouldn't avoid it but you shouldn't force it if it fits the scene then put it i don't think there should be anything off limits (to an extent ) as long as it fits the scene

Honestly with sensei Knightley and Sensei Vixen on this one if you have a harem and everything that can be put to use isn't .... Well you aren't taking care of your women in the most efficient way and more besides it seems to me very hypocritical for MC's to enjoy head and not give back to the women who give it so readily. but I know for a fact that's it's not just me that feels this way and for the people who read this genre and don't enjoy the way the fmc's are portrayed as they get head (honestly the best part ,I'm neutral to the act itself but the way the female characters react is awesome and that's what oral sex is at it's best something done purely for your partners pleasure.). So back to the limp dicks who complain about oral sex in harem fantasy : I'd feel sorry for your lovers were it that they existed

Fuck yes! Be graphic about it. Nothing beats taking hold of a lover's hips and going to town on them til they beg you stop. Also vice versa, there's a reason 69 is such a popular position

As long as it isn’t beat up past recognition lol

[GIF] 

I remember watching an episode of The Sopranos where it was a main plot point that one of the mobsters would do oral on his wife and make her really happy but she couldn't ever tell anyone. When she told the other ladies and another mobster heard about it and said something, he kicked her out (or maybe he killed her - it was a long time ago). So I'd guess that there is some part of the population that would be against an alpha MC doing that.

Going down on a woman is a privilege that should be engaged in often, unless she's not clean.

I think one of the reasons it gets skipped in some books is that the characters have been through a slog recently, and who wants to go down on a woman who's been through a battle for hours on end? Nobody's crotch smells good in that case. Every time I see an author have characters engage in oral sex after a prolonged time between bathing, I cringe.

But outside of that, as long as the author isn't using the same formulaic crap we see sometimes (Guy goes down on woman, fingers her g-spot, makes her squirt, then gets down to getting his cock involved) I like when the man goes down on the woman.

Vanilla oral? Not a turn off. Creampie eating or tossing salad? Very much is a turn off.

No.

Harem lit readers hate a selfish MC when it comes to oral.

It's the opposite. A dude making a women scream with only his mouth is a fucking superpower.

Yeah when I see a lack of it I drop the rating by 1. I don't see why it's not included but you write the girl damn near getting off from sucking dick. I find it weird.

Also big ups to Valens legacy for the girls teaching the MC about giving as well. 

We do have some DJ Khaled types around here but they're a minority. Write what you want though. Whether you want to write a specific scene or not is up to you. I think the bigger problem is if you write a scene not because you want to but because you feel obligated to. That way you risk it feeling mechanical and not hitting the points that people actually want.

[Image] 

I concur with the complaint. And yes, we notice when the MC routinely receives oral attention from his ladies, but refuses to return the favor.

Honestly have no idea where that attitude comes from, I think those scenes are great. People have some weird hangups in this genre at times.

I'd prefer it, as it shows he gives consideration to pleasing the women he loves and partners with. I've read books where the MC gets a BJ and the girls swoon. But realistically, a relationship should show give and take. Just my two cents. Would love to hear what a female author or reader might have to say.

Not for me shrugs

I think it's hot, but everything can be overdone. For me the turn-off is anal. Grosses me the fuck out.

BUT! I recognize it as a 'me' issue and wouldn't hold it against a book in a review, but I would drop it if it got excessive.

I usually like to write a few give-and-take scenes in my books. As long as a writer doesn't go overboard and create some kind of oral-fixation, I'm totally fine with it as a reader.

I find it weird when the guy is a selfish lover, like shit bro, you're already getting a harem, at least give your ladies some amazing foreplay, plus one of the best parts of sex is trying to give as much pleasure as possible. So yea, dude's that just get blown and go straight into it make me facepalm.

I think most readers here don't have a problem with it infactI encourage it more because it adds to a explicit scene not take it away everyone likes mutual satisfaction just my opinion Write want you want and gotta feel it out yourself

In case you never heard it, here's a link to the controversy over Batman giving oral

“In this third season of Harley [coming to HBO Max] we had a moment where Batman was going down on Catwoman,” Justin Halpern said. “And DC was like, ‘You can’t do that. You absolutely cannot do that.’ They’re like, ‘Heroes don’t do that.'”