I know this will be different for anyone, just curious. Thinking about this all day long. Maybe it's for me, posting this question on reddit lol
What action will have the biggest positive impact on your life right now?
❓ QuestionI myself is in a state of paralysis now. I need to build some new habits, stop playing games for hours and hours. I'm 24 and by 20 I created a good chunk of income. Now, Life is somewhat on autopilot as I don't need to grind for monetary stuff and with that I have become lazy. Super lazy.
Been trying to go back to gym for 2 months now and I'm just delaying, procrastinating about it. This paralysis phase is just awful. And the only one to blame is me. Of course..
I'm sorry to hear that! Keep in mind though that you haven't "wasted your life" even if it feels that way, because:
a) Literally everyone goes through a few years in their life at some point where they're useless pieces of shit. Maybe their marriage implodes. Maybe they pursue a career path that they despise. Maybe something completely random happens that derails their life, like failing to show up for a career-defining exam or interview. Maybe they wallow in self-pity. Humans have about 50 odd years of "productive" lives, and of those about 10 are absolutely wasted, 20 are coasting, and 20 are pedal to the metal.
b) You're less than 10% of the way into your adult life. Does it matter if you hit your life goal at 42 or 46? Even if you respawned video-game style right now and had to start over you'd still be more than fine, and 20-24 would be negligible.
c) You haven't fucked anything up. At worst, you're at zero. Some of your peers are waaaaaay into the negatives in life by the time they're 24, and then spend 24-30 getting back to zero.
I have finally purchased some equipment and will kickstart my fitness journey again. Boxing bag and accessories, 4 sets of dumbells, and a pull-up bar. I will start slow and will gradually increase the tempo. Part of the reason why I always fail is I take up multiple habits all at once. This time it will be only 2 habits. Going to bed early and working out 5 days a week.
Thank you for your kind words. I hope to update you about my progress some day again.
Figure out what you're passionate about and What? Short sort of stuff. You could do with that passion for yourself or others like this is a very rudimentary pulled out of my a** example, but if you love carpentry, maybe you can Get involved with Habitat for Humanity or building tiny homes for homeless people or something, that sort of thing period Like I love wandering through the desert.While high finding interesting stuff, people have dumped, and clothing and bedding and stuff.That's still in good Conditionite, I'm going to start washing and giving to homeless charities or directly to homeless people, which has already happened a few times Over the years period also I'm using voice to text and the voice to text on this phone. Kind of sucks. I apologize if there are any weird. Typos.
Thank you for your kind words. No need to apologize using Voice texts. I understand.
I always liked gardening and always wanted to grow my own veggies and flowers. Most importantly it is a very calm hobby but I stopped doing it due to pressure from University and my own business. I think I have to prioritize it again.
This is so helpful
Thank you for this so much. Gives me hope
Sleep schedule.
Sleep and wake up at the same time everyday for just a week and observe the magic unfold 😁
Getting up early would change my life, but I can’t because my exercises classes are too late in the evening then I need to eat after
Change your exercise classes
It might be helpful to switch the language here, forgive me not trying to be annoying.
You don’t need to do exercise and eating late, no one is forcing you and you would survive if you didn’t, you want to, more than waking up early
Paying attention to the present moment.
All suffering is caused by ruminating about the past or stressing over the future.
Live in the present and you're free.
I was talking about this last night with my fiancé. 20-25 years ago in high school, I was able to live in the moment. Now, it’s as if I am observing my life from the outside. Like I am constantly taking my mental temperature to see how I feel. I didn’t used to do that. But now I do. I started when I got sick. I basically get muscle pain much quicker now so I am just physically over aware of how I may be feeling at the moment. It’s hell. Also why I like to drink. It goes away
I have this issue right now. Just got out of a 3 year relationship. Completely blindsided by my ex. Always in my head thinking about the past and the future. It distracts me from what I need to do right now. Do you have any tips on how to push those thoughts away?
Sorry to hear this! It's definitely a tough situation. And the skills to combat it are much much easier to develop when you're not already in the thick of it with emotions running high.
The overarching skill I've been focused on developing that would most help with this is psychological flexibility. It's the idea that we can create space between ourselves and our thoughts (and feelings and impulses) by (A) accepting them rather than trying to fight or change them, and (B) understanding that you are not your thoughts; that you're separate from them; that they're a part of you but not YOU.
Once you can create just a little bit of space between you and your thoughts rather than being fused with them (where you think that the thought you're having is you), it gives a tremendous amount of relief.
You can start to look at your thoughts and feelings more objectively and compassionately. Like a small child that needs some love and care.
And by creating this space, rather than being consumed by your thoughts, you can think more clearly and remember what you value in the first place, and begin working on taking actions that move you closer to that.
It's about letting your values guide your actions and behaviour rather than the unhelpful thoughts and feelings that come into your head.
Psychological flexibility is an amazing skill that comes in very handy to combat distraction. I plan to write more about it in r/attentioneering
Holy shit man thank you so much for that response. I’ve always kind of identified my thoughts with myself, but what you said really makes a lot of sense. I tend to let them take over, and they distract me from who I really am. I’m a decently attractive guy, in shape, good work ethic, but when those thoughts come into play I feel the opposite of how I appear. I need to learn to set them aside and look at them from an objective standpoint. Sometimes they become too much, and I struggle with that. I need to just try to become a bit less feeler when it comes to my emotions and more of a thinker. I suppose practice makes perfect.
Not buying weed.
You’re right way better to grow your own
I could probably buy a llama if I stop spending all my money on weed
I just had a full on panic attack the other night from taking like 3 hits. It’s over for me 😂
I watched a video recently about how men have different responses to anxiety/stress, where we typically don't recognize our feelings of anxiousness due to our hormonal makeup. This causes anxiety to create roadblocks and make things seem harder than they are, but because we often don't recognize that it is anxiety, we just assume things are too hard or impossible, because we make them seem that way.
That's what I need to work on, is recognizing that the things I want to do are honestly not that hard and I am just nervous which makes them SEEM harder.
I think info this too. Not like the stereotypical, “I won’t try because I’m too afraid to fail.” But more so, I feel like the outcome is probably not going to work out in the way I want it to and I don’t want to out in all that “work” for nothing. A lot of it may be laziness though.
I feel, I feel. For me it's moreso I reach a point where the difficulty is just outside my skill to where I don't know the answer, and then just shut down cause I make it seem like it's too much.
Been there for sure. Give me one negative thing about my circumstance at any given time and I will quickly turn that into three overwhelmingly negative hurdles. It’s like a goddamn magic show of me perpetually growing negativity from nothing lol.
20 pushups
Setting and maintaining boundaries
Accepting myself.
I accept you stranger. There. Hope it helps a little at least.
Not drinking.
Cheers to that
Gym and money
Unironically this. Which is why I‘m getting a job.
This for sure
Doing the blood test im so scared to do and putting off!! Been dealing with an undiagnosed chronic illness and apparently the pain is easier to deal with than the fear of the blood test. I gotta get answers soon 😭
I add everything to my calendar and set reminders. That allows me to see my day when I wake up. I have a clear direction of what my day will look like.
At the end of my day I look through my plan and feel a sense of accomplishment that fuel me for the next. It's always a good day when I finish/ do everything I set out to do for the day. I see what's ahead too. Sounds stupid, but I find it comforting to know.
Winning the lottery. Or find a way to stop working and keep living my current life
snacking
Going to bed earlier and at a consistent time
Omg literally get a job but I have put it off too long and now IM SO AXIETY FILLED 😭 I have been living off my savings that I had for a car, nope not anymore it’s almost out and I got to get my ass up and stop smoking weed. Urgggggh
Cues, triggers and habit forming for me
Using a flip phone instead of my iPhone
Read Mindset by Carol Dweck
Getting out of debt and going to the gym.
This is something that is overstated in most threads about this but go to the gym and get out of debt.
Currently, I am wasting $200 in interest per month because of my debt. I am thinking of doordashing to get rid of it and put it to good use.
Winning the lottery
Studying for my exam tomorrow and starting the gym!
Working out as I likely have a spinal cord injury from a non-fault car accident.
For me it's definitely learning to feel my emotions early on. If I feel anxiety coming up, I try to sit with it and feel it, mention it, make it heard. Instead of distracting and numbing myself and repressing it.
15 minutes of meditation in the morning before anything else (aside from prayer and dream journal)
Sleeping because i sorta need it.
Getting in the ocean everyday again. It was a rough winter and I fell off. Time to get back.
Every time I feel like going on Reddit, talk to a friend instead
Sokka-Haiku by Known-Damage-7879:
Every time I
Feel like going on Reddit,
Talk to a friend instead
Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
Just getting to work. We scheme all the time, thinking of the perfect routines and setups. But the real-life changing action is deep work on a project.
Passing my exams, somehow
Writing every day.
Get to work on time. I have sleep issues (& motivation issues). I show up 10 min late & haggard looking. I half ass putting my makeup on at red lights. Get to work feeling all rushed & stressed out. I’m 50 yo & need to get my shit together!
Canceling unused subscriptions
Jogging
Small Talk
Mediate
Talk with Stranger
Realize everything is impermanent
Walking 10k steps every day.
Eating better.
Probably writing on my blog. Produce some content rather than just reading
Removing drinking completely and acting on all productive thoughts that occupy my headspace. Reaching out to the people you want to talk to without hesitation. Treating family better. Starting that business. Having the tough conversations.
Going to be with time to get enough sleep and getting up when my first alarm goes off
My favorite movie is Inception.
Sleeping 8 hours with no interruptions
Stop texting so much.
Finishing my undergraduate degree. I have so many GOOD things planned for me once I’m done with it… I already have a job in the field so I’m not stressed about that part at all.
3 more months to go baby!!
Early morning prayer
Reading proverbs and psalms
Drinking water daily
Working out
Eating cleaner
Cutting away bad friends/relationships
I need to stop over sharing and get my depressed suicidal ass to therapy lol
Over sharing is a good one, one I need to watch out for too. And yes do all the mindhacks where you can't have a depression. From breathing exercises, positive self affirmations, meditation, workout, read, write, self study, go in nature and outside, etc. Check Google.
Will do, thank you :)
WARNING: suicide mention
Having a panic attack at school and actually telling medical stuff that I do indeed want to yeet myself of a building, it was really difficult to admit because I do not usually get help when I asked. And then, well, school psycholog got me into free therapy and 2 years later here I am, not so keen on dying that much anymore. I got into uni I wanted, started playing volleyball again (literally today did it) and changed work to lab instead of clothes shop. I did progress greatly, but I do still have problems. Panic attacks, anxiety and just really bad days. But I learned one good phrase "recovery is not a sprint, but a marathon". And celebrating small things. I just celebrated today that for the first time in like maybe 7 or 8 years when a huge problem arose I didn't think that I want to die, which is really really amazing. I am proud of myself for that. I was angry and frustrated, but I didn't think about how nice that water looked under the bridge, when I can't even swim. So yeah, best panic attack of my life, would repeat absolutely, but do not recommend.
Avoiding sugar
Post authentic videos!
Stop putting so much of your time into procrastination. Stop putting all of your time into finding excuses.
studying consistently.
Getting off my phone
getting into some dank stonks on a ship to the moon with these diamond hands
Your next one
I think regularly going to bed at a reasonable time, most nights it’s anywhere from 5am-mid day before I sleep.
Besides that it would be working on my physical health, im not overweight but I’m on my feet a lot, working as a bartender currently so becoming fitter would impact my life positively.
Behind that it’d probably be diet and spending, I’m already massively improving my spending going from spending about 60-70% of my income to about 10-20% which has helped a lot.
Other than that I could imagine keeping a cleaner living space/ putting more effort into friendships would help.
I’ve been with my girlfriend for nearly 6yrs now but she’s been studying abroad for nearly 4, so we see each other every other month so making more stable long term friends that are close by would probably help too.
My mental and financial health has definitely improved massively over the past 24 months, I just need to keep working on it and start working on physical health too, I used to cycle semi professionally and run all the time so doing that again would be good for me.
Going to bed on time
Sleeping early
GETTING UP with first alarm without snoozing so I have the time to work on the things that are meaningful to me, instead of going straight to work (for a company).
That would allow me to JOURNAL every day and reflect on my thoughts so I know I am headed in the right direction and am doing what I actually really want, not what I've been told to want.
Tackling inconsistency in my studies
This ⬇️ bc I have no mf clue
an opportunity from someone of importance
Masturbate
Good answers!!!
Probably killing myself
Seek the reasons for living being worthwhile still.
There aren’t any
Reading! I save money, decompress after work, gain perspective and find regular, low maintenance joy. Lately I’ve gotten into buying specific editions of famous books. Reading a leather-bound copy of a classic novel makes me feel like the protagonist of my own story lol
Understanding discipline looks different for different people
Landing a very lucrative or miracle money to launch all of my notebook full of plans. Then my life will be good again. From total S-word to hey at least I am trying and I know exactly what my plan of action is. My life sucks so bad it’s pathetic. I am even thinking of getting rid of my dogs I somehow ended up with a few years ago just to get my life back on track!
1 missing reply
I think a lot of people find themselves struggling with discipline when they have no idea how to answer that question. It creates anxiety, uncertainty, and a sense of risk, so they get stuck in a state of paralysis. I know I've been in that position and it was difficult to get up every morning and just do SOMETHING not knowing whether it would be at all lucrative, but understanding logically that the alternative was to stay paralyzed indefinitely.
So to answer the question, if you don't know, just pick literally anything and start doing it until it's done.