"He drinks and he knows things, goes the line/The god of wits and tits and wine." Tyrion Lannister secures Smart Drunk far more easily than his father's approval! Now, to finish the main round...who's Chaotic Drunk?!
FreefolkTotally. Thanks you to OP’s consistency too.
Most fun I've had since like season 4.
Thanks all for doing this fun little game! Don't forget that after this we have the bonus round "Asshole" column coming up after this!
I would like to humbly request you add a couple additional columns and rows and continue the game.
It would be fun to see some of the categories switch axis so we can get combo’s we haven’t had yet. Show me stupid horny or evil drunk
We NEED a stupid column
There is one!
He said Column, we have a stupid row
It’s a perfectly fine row. No need to be insulting
Who would be stupid stupid?
Stupid Horny is probably Theon
Like seriously who gets seduced by two women in the middle of being tortured
We need a lawful Chad. I’m also game to doing characters from before Robert’s rebellion
Lawful Chad is Ser Barristan Selmy
"Those were the king's words! Anyway..." Selmy?
For lawful horny, Jorah Mormont
Can we have a boobs column?
I nominate "unhinged" row
thank you for these, I actually really like these memes that require the whole community to participate. Bonus points for the funky rhymes in the title, you didn't have to make an effort for each post but you went extra mile and it's really appreciated!
Rhymes are so good
It’s not often I get excited when the words ‘asshole column’ come up in life, but this is one of those times.
I need that column to be cunt not asshole.
Thoros of Myr!!
Amazing work - and GODS, WE HAD FUN!
Well done, Mojo Man. This has been a blast
Ok, the Hound HAS to take either neutral or drunk asshole
The Hound has Asshole-Good on lock 🔒
Cercei is very much so in the books. She drinks lots of wine, gains weight, and has her maids beaten for 'shrinking her dresses.' She does drink a lot in the show, but without the weight gain.
No one fetched her the dress stretcher 😭
THE QUEEN’S TOO FAT FOR HER GOWN! GO FETCH THE SILK STRETCHER!
This one's probably a doable request tbfff
I love Cersei so much as a character, she's one of the very few non-sexily evil female characters in fiction. Just a sad, angry, alcoholic aging woman that is way off the deep end to be redeemed at this point.
Right? I honestly don't think George gets enough credit for how good he is at writing women. The fact that he's also a horny perv kind of overshadows that in most of the discourse. But the fact that this fat, 75 year old horny perv is better at writing varied, complex female characters than most authors I've read is honestly pretty amazing.
yeah honestly I always found this perplexing. Usually men who can't help but sexualise 13-year-olds have no idea what women are like as human beings. But GRRM has amazing female characters, I really can't think of many other writers that describe female characters as human beings first, and women second. Their motivations are understandable to everyone and don't contain some weird gendered wisdom that just isn't available to men. Even women are guilty of this kind of writing. (COUGH jk Rowling COUGH)
It reminds me of the witcher which also has amazing female characters in it but they all want to fuck geralt and their nipples DESPERATELY need describing every time they have sex. Boomer perverts are really cooking something with their writing.
I really can't think of many other writers that describe female characters as human beings first, and women second.
Stephen King
Damn Gerald’s Game was amazing for coming from a man
Steven King writes really good characters, but he's also fairly guilty about reusing themes.
Seems like every Steven King book is about a recovering alcoholic or someone whose the spouse or child of an alcoholic. He does it really well, but when he's consistently rolling over the same tracks he loses points from me.
I don't think King is nearly the equal to Martin regarding characters.
What JK Rowling character are you even referring to? I'm going through all the women in Harry Potter and they all have realistic personalities and motivations.
I wasn't thinking any character in particular but general issues with her writing. The biggest one is this constant veneration of motherhood. Mother's love (but not father's) is such a strong power that it's literally a plot point for the whole series. Even negative characters such as Narcissa and Petunia are redeemed through their motherhood. Nearly every female character in the books has a bunch of kids by the time they hit 30, and almost all childless women are villains (Umbridge, Bellatrix, Rita Skeeter). Speaking of which, Bellatrix being the only female Death Eater is so funny considering that her main motivation is being in love with an evil man. It's like James Bond level of female characterisation.
(Funny enough, HotD has a similar issue, although in a much milder form)
Also the absolute DIRTY that Fleur Delacour was done -- haughty French bimbo who's the only woman strong enough to participate in the tournament and she STILL comes behind all the male characters, including a 14-year-old boy for fucks sake. She then becomes an obnoxious character who is mocked for her over-the-top femininity until she shows just how much she loves her man, upon which she is blessed by his mother and is accepted into the fold. And then she has a bunch of kids before she hits 30.
I could probably write a whole essay about this because I both love and hate Harry Potter with a passion, lol. But you get the gist.
I don’t know that I would consider her chaotic. She’s very calculated
She's calculated, but man is she bad at math.
Big book vs show difference imo. She’s extremely chaotic in the books
Yeah, AFFC could really be renamed "Cersei Fucks Up Everything"
back when I read it when it first came out, I remember looking forward to the Cersei chapters for that reason. It was all like, she's allowing the faith militant to arm again whaaaa?
History has many examples of despots or groups trying to use faith-based organizations and militias to their advantage, then losing control of them.
Gotta be Cersei. It doesn’t get much more chaotic than banging your twin brother and blowing up a good portion of your city with wildfire.
“Bangin’ your sister is chaotic Dennis”
I was on Team Hound, but this convinced me.
Cersei Fookin Lannister!!!
Remember Cersei looking down at Myrcella's body, tearfully whispering: "I don't know where she came from"?
Well, we all know exactly where Joff came from.
Cersei Lannister for Chaotic Drunk!
Like mother like son
I don’t believe there is any scenes with Myrcella’s corpse and Cersei. There was a scene she said this but that was with Jamie(I believe). It was kind of a big plot point for the show for her to not get to see Myrcella’s burial/body because they buried her in the sept of Balor and the High Sparrow wouldn’t let Cersei in there until she had her trial.
Oh, that's true! I just remembered Jaime sailing towards her with the coffin and then that conversation. In my defense she buries three kids in two seasons it's hard to keep track*
I’m shocked jamie didn’t get any place on this chart
I would nominate him for good asshole, he's somehow both a good guy and a huge asshole at the same time
Asshole Chad
That would be the hound
Asshole chad should be the Queen of Thorns, Olenna Tyrell
oh man olenna vs the hound is really gonna split the group on that one
I think that won't be a category, it will be stupid asshole, good asshole...
Ooo! Let's make it happen
I've long believed that by the end of the series Jamie would have made the best king.
Jamie's character changes a lot over the course of the books and the show. Makes it hard for him to beat other characters that remain constant in their personality
Also Theon
and Littlefinger …
The writers for chaotic asshole ?
A redemption row or column would have been fun
I'd put him true neutral.
Had the same thought but he is 100% one of the “assholes”
The Hound takes it! Fuck the king (chaotic), bring me wine (drunk). As simple as that…
Agreed. Cersei always had a plan which ultimately created chaos for others.
The Hound however, was chaotic drunk. You never knew what he was going to do. He was “the broken man” with nothing left to lose but a wine skin, and he could’ve turned any direction that led him to more wine and of course, chickens.
Yeah, disappointed in the Cersei votes. The Hound fits better IMO. Maybe he'll get asshole Chad. Chadhole, if you will.
I honestly thought the Hound would have gotten drunk neutral. He drinks or talks about drinking basically every time he's on screen and doesn't give a fook about politics, just wants to fight his brother.
Cersei goes next to her family members in that corner
The Hound. “If I see any man with a clean sword I’ll rape his fucking corpse!”
The Hound!
Sandor. Cerci is crazy but self serving. Sandor’s actions and alliances change as the wind blows
The only way to win Sandor's true allegiance is to provide a steady stream of chicken and wine
To me that makes him more neutral than chaotic. He had standards but generally his blade is for sale.
The Hound is probably the better fit imo, but bookending this with Cersei just works so well.
Karl Tanner...from Gin Alley...drinking wine from the skull of Jeor....fuckin...Mormont
This was my thought too. Cersei isn't chaotic enough. She plans, she's just evil.
One of the hallmarks of chaotic is bad plans, so Cersei fits just fine.
I was a fookin' legend.
Offtopic: Have you notice that there's a grading in the photos chosen? Like, it starts clear with white background and progressively it gets darker and darker?
I don't know if this is intentional but it's interesting.
SANDOR CLEGANE. The man is a hellbringer of chaos wherever the fuck he goes, and is wasted the entire time. The scene during the battle of blackwater should say enough lmao
The Hound no contest
Hound
Queen Cersei, the modern Lady Macbeth who drank, schemed and helped her husband to an early death.
Smart Drunk's sister.
Cersei. Lannister.
Hound woof woof woof 🐶
I love how split this thread is between Cersei and the Hound lol. I Personally pick Sandor given he certainly has a love of drink and I think has sided with damn near everyone at this point, but they're both a solid fit.
Cersei makes fire chaotic in green while drink wine, the Hound runs away fire.
TORMUUUND
Thoros of Myr literally drank until he found god in fire
Cercei, the entire Lannister family gets drunk at one point or another, but only Cercei make stupid chaotic decisions all the time, even Jaime does something right every so often.
Cersei
The Hound easily beats Cersei every day of the week
No, Robert’s the one who did that.
Although cersei was seen drinking regulary, I don't recall her ever being displayed as drunk. The hound would make more sense to me.
She was pretty smashed during the Battle of the Blackwater.
Ah yeah. But at least that was justified when you think you're about to be invaded and raped.
You drink more than you used to
Dude, Cersei was sloshed during the Battle of Blackwater.
I think MatPat did a video trying to calculate how drunk she was during that event, and came to the conclusion if she was even remotely keeping the same pace as what we saw off camera she'd be WELL over a normal person's limit for alcohol poisoning.
Survivable based on what people in real life have consumed and lived, but absolutely enough to drink even Tyrion at his most hammered under the table.
I think Cersei? To me she is “Drunk-Evil” but that doesn’t align so, out of all others, Cersei fits here.
Cersei
Cersei
Cersei
The brother fucker, Cersei
Cercei Lannister who wreaked political chaos as soon as her brother committed patricide
I think both book and show cersei take this title. book cersei is more of a chaotic alcoholic but show cersei still blows up a church while sipping wine so
Cersei!!
Cersei is the only right answer for this.
Cersei hands down.
Tormund
Its gotta be tormund right??
Coming from r/cerseiwinsthethrone.
That next picture better not just be a picture of a pile of rubble.
Or I will choose violence.
Gotta go with the Hound.
I like Cersei, and even though her actions create a lot of chaos in the books especially, she has set goals that she's just...bad at executing or thinking through the consequences. She spends her entire life trying to get Tywin's approval the same way he gives to Jaime (and begrudgingly Tyrion at times) until he dies, and then spends the rest of the show and the books so far trying to build a legacy not so much in honor of him, but in spite.
The Hound however shifts his allegiances like the wind and is really unpredictable at times at which side he falls on. He doesn't give two shits beyond his immediate plan and immediately moves to the next one when it falls apart.
Cersei creates more chaos on a grander scale because of the power she wields, but it's not a defining trait of her character until the later half of the books/series.
She's chaotic drunk after her children and father die, but the Hound's been that way through the entire series.
Cersei Lannister
Tormund giants bane. There’s no question, the hound is a close second. But I’d say he’s asshole drunk not chaotic
I don't think Cersei was chaotic she just wasn't as smart as she thought she was so her plans always went up in smoke leading to unintentional chaos. She needed to rely on others like Varys, Tyrion, and Littlefinger to further her agendas for her because she was inept, but still had power because she was attached to powerful men like Tywin and King Robert.
She absolutely had goals she was working towards being the center of the conflict between the Lannisters and the Tyrells, or betraying Ned Stark to install Joffrey as the King its just that she bungled just about everything she tried for the majority of her time spent breathing. If anything she was the Stupid Drunk. Tyrion's foil.
Chaotic drunk is The Hound. Dude is like a leaf blowing in the wind eating chickens and changing his allegiances whenever it suited him. He lived like a stray dog ending up on a new master's doorstep and then either being cast out or disappearing himself when it was convenient.
That describes Neutral more than it does Chaotic.
She had incest bastards that threw the realm into chaos more than anything anyone else did.
She pulled off a terrorist attack in the capital that wiped out her allies, her uncle and the leader of the local religion before they got attacked by dragons and led to her son killing himself.
She offers Bronn lordship of the Riverlands.
She executes her main hostage immediately before being put under siege by the daughter of a lunatic who rides an angry dragon.
D&D as dark horse candidates for this one
I’m sorry but why isn’t my man Tormund in chaotic/horny?
Hound
The hound or Cersei
Drunk Smart might’ve been the easiest of the bunch. Drunk Chad was also a layup LOL.
My queen 💜
It must be Weiss and Benioff
The hound
The Hound
Just put me in that last column
Karl Tanner for sure
Honestly, I think Theon takes this one. He drunkenly and whoringly, confusingly and chaotically single handedly handed the North a hard L.
©
I don’t understand how Beric Dondarrion is chaotic if Thoros of Myr is lawful.
Evil Chad is Viserys all day
Nobody is more chaotic drunk than The Hound, and nobody deserves the Drunk Asshole spot quite like Cersei. She’s more of an asshole than she is chaotic
It has to be Beric Dondarrion. He’s a chaotic drunk dude who can raise people from the dead and charges head king into breached castle walls.
That was Thoros I think the same
SANDOR CLEGANE IS THE ONLY CORRECT ANSWER, YA CUNTS
Sandorrrr
I hope chaotic drunk is Drogon
Thoros and his flaming sword
The hound. Every fucking chicken
People definitely like this too much to end it now. Even with one bonus round. We should expand until all the major characters are represented. Suggested rows/columns:
Crazy Magical Karen Weasel Thug Salty Shady
Cersei needs to be some kind of evil, not chaotic. She's interested in power, not just wrecking shit up. She likes rules if they suit her.
Has to be Sandor.
Cersei of course!
It’s a kind of weird that Cersei is out of here
Last one is Thoros of Myr! All drunk fighting leading a charge at Pyke and then not remembering any at all because he was drunk! Perfect Chaotic Drunk.
Ser Dontos is textbook chaotic drunk.
The one and only Bobby B. Drunkenness cause the whole series to happen.
Cersei hands down
It's gotta be the hound.
How about a scary column? There are a lot of frightening people in Westeros!
Sandor
Cersei
Stupid smart.
Where would Jaime Lannister fit best into this?
I was gonna say Walder but clear it’s gon be Cersei-
My only objection is that Lady Olenna didn’t make the cut, how did that not happen?
Cersei ofc
It’s Cersei. It always was.
Blowing up the hand of the king seems pretty chaotic drunk to me.
Thoros of Myr. Hands down.
Thought there would be more votes for the Hound. So, the Hound
Cersei, so there's a sleazy Lannister corner.
Cersei
The hound, he is chaotic drunk
Missandei and Grey Worm. Those jokes were fire.
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16d
Well done. Only critique is Bron never comes off as evil. More of a horny chad
Thoros again. This time storming Pyke.
Sandro clegane my guys
How did Drogo get evil Chad.. that doesn’t fit at all
Hound
It's got to be the Hound.
Benjen! Because Benjen should have been represented somewhere in this and just didn’t fit any criteria.
This is so damn funny. LOL
Robert Baratheon is pretty Chaotic Drunk.
Wow I'm amazed that Drogo got put in Evil/Chad. I see so many people romanticize him as a character and I just don't get it. Yes Jason Mamoa, women love him, etc., but Dany literally only loved the guy as a result of Stockholm syndrome. She was forced to marry him, raped, and it was the only "freedom" she'd known from her brother.
The Hound, all the way!!
If it's not The Hound, this is all a lie.
tormund all the way
Karl Tanner, he was a fookin legend ya know
The Hound… you guys robbed him from being neutral drunk, and even on this list tbh
Drunk chaotic should be Charlie from its always sunny
I’m gonna miss this chart when we’re done. Most fun I’ve had on this sub in a bit, fuck, most fun I’ve had with this show in a bit. and I don’t even participate I just like watching