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The psychological torture of being a minor and watching your medical health get worse and worse but you can't do anything about it.
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16d
This is great advice, OP! Knowledge is power. Read up and form an exit plan. We're all rooting for you
Oh yes, I remember going through this as a young person. It’s absolute torture.
For some reason the thread I commented on has disappeared (Edit: NVM, I just cant do tech apparently) so I'm going to comment again and expand to include extra info.
You might feel powerless now OP but you won't be forever. Start researching and forming an exit/escape plan for when you are 18. Without knowing your location (and you don't have to share it if you don't feel comfortable!) here are some general ideas:
What forms of ID have been issued to you that you might need in the future? Can you take the ones that are currently in your possession, if only to get a notarized copy? If not, can you get them reissued to you?
Do you have a bank account in your own name that your parents cannot touch? Are you able to get a part-time job and start building some emergency funds?
Do you have a go bag packed?
Do you have a trustworthy friend or extended family member you could store valuables/cherished items/important documents with?
Look up free or low-cost medical care and therapy options in your area. Even if you can't access them yet, knowing your options for when you are an adult gives you a goal to reach towards.
Hang in there, OP. Every day you get through is another day to freedom
OP, if you are in the U.S. checkout Job Corps!
Job Corps provides free education and job training for people ages 16-24 (I’ve read that they extend this to age 30 if you have ever been a foster child or have a disability).
Job Corps gives you free room and board, health care, and a living stipend. They also pay for your transportation to one of their campuses around the country.
They will also speed up your application if you tell them you are homeless or about to become homeless.
Yep, just now getting diagnosed with POTS and Fibromyalgia at 29 despite having symptoms from a teenager but parents just didn’t care and now are making it seem like a huge thing that I never mentioned. The best thing I (and anyone) can do is advocate for themselves, when of age of course. Thinking of you and sending you support 🖤
Yes, you're not alone. I know it's hard ... <3
You can do a lot about it. There are plenty of ways to get out from underneath your parents. But, your profile doesn't accept messages and chats and I have no fing idea what specifically it is that is going on. If you want real help or at least someone to try them reach out. You can message me. Or don't. Honestly...do you want help? Honestly I'm not trying anything. I just don't understand this site and why I can't chat with or message people. Is this impossible to do because of their account setting or having a new account. Honestly the evasiveness of people on here is as triggering as any of the other triggers. I am trying to help and be helped and don't understand the disconnect.
Honestly the behavior and ire I receiving is what's gross.
People have a need to talk and that's why I'm here. You gaslighting me isn't cute or invisible. Clearly I don't understand fully reddit.are you going to explain what's going on or just criticize and make fun?
Sorry, this really rubbed me the wrong way.
You have no idea their circumstances - what country they're in, access to medical care, if they have transportation, if it costs money to receive medical care where they live, how much money they have, or how close they are to turning 18 and being able to safely leave without potentially being punished for trying to access care.
Also - there are some doctors who flat out don't listen to or believe minors when they report their symptoms. Please don't disparage their venting and scold them because you can't push your advice on them privately.
They have a right to vent and be frustrated with an honestly VERY frustrating circumstance.
You're in the emotional neglect subreddit - why are you shaming them??
Yikes so many red flags in this comment. Why are you expressing so much hostility about not being able to directly contact a stranger on the internet? The way you are offering 'help' is really aggressive and gross.
'I'm not trying anything...' why did you add that?
Google how reddit works, it's not hard.
Insisting on being able to dm an abused minor is all layers of icky
You think letting them continue to hate and want to to kill themselves isn't "icky". Let's be real...you suffer from reddit misanthropic narcissism syndrome. You will answer questions to build up karma and insist that you"care" about people. But, in reality you only care about yourself and your issues and your own feelings.
It is NORMAL for people to care about people regardless of age if they can relate to the situation. You are the fuc($!34 that wouldn't notice any of those people until they're dead.
I can see your comment history. When was the LAST TIME YOU ASKED A GENUINE QUESTION THAT SHOWED YOU WOULD GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO HELP ONE OF THESE PEOPLE.
I can tell from the way you talk to me and ignore the posters problems you have NEVVVVERERRRRRR DOOONNNNEEEE THHHHAAATTT IIIINNNN YYYYOOOUUURRRR EENNNTTTIIIRRREEE LIFFFEE.
How does that suit you. You share having the self-centered characteristics of sociopath or psychopath. An unwillingness to yield for other people's need in any tangible way.
I've talked these people off the edge before over wanting to die over their feelings. How many times have you don't THAT?
I've done it with thousands of people over the years.
But, you don't understand the difference between human concern and somebody trying to trick somebody into giving them something for themselves. A pathetic irony of this forum. People who don't want to accept people who have been abused if they feel some unusual way.
I know about abuse....and I wanted to tell them IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT but they're going to have to find a way out of it starting now or it will become their life.
Thank so much for guiding so well with your ignorance and apathy.
A teenager who is having problems with their teeth because of bad parenting? But I'M THE PROBLEM for wanting to help then when you don't raise a FINGER to do anything for them.
god, that's rich.
You are definitely a huge problem in this thread.
You literally do nothing but criticize people and ignore the OPs problems. What is the basis for you thinking you are not problematic for never having offered any concrete help or advice?
There are plenty of ways to support and encourage a minor without demanding they message you privately. If you had looked at my message history you would have seen a conversation I had with another minor, encouraging them to keep going until they had the means to escape their situation. I responded in a similar way in another comment thread that gor some reason is no longer visible, but I am happy to comment again
I didn't demand anything. But I remember when I was a child being abused and I heard all the same sh$+. I got told by male police officers I was lucky to have well off parents after seeing all of bruises and stories from me because his daddy beat him too. My father was a doctor and a real psychopath and that doesn't even cover the sexual abuse. NOBODY EVER RAISED A FINGER to help...and get all of the neighbors knew there was something wrong with my parents. This person is living with screwed up parents and NEEDS OUT. They're health is already becoming impaired. Culturally normalized apathy towards abuse problems is problem...and you call yourself part of an advocacy and support forum. I could see he or she would not reach out to speak because they have the lack of perseverance that comes with living through it and seeing it can never stop getting bad if they don't stop...up until the moment they die. Do you understand anything I'm saying?
No one is telling OP they are lucky to have the parents they have. Look at the other comments. Advice and encouragement is being given.
The issue myself and others have taken with your original comment (which you have since edited) is the wording and tone that was pushing OP to open up their DMs. OP may have closed their DMs for any number of reasons, one of which may be that they are a minor talking to strangers on the internet. It is one thing to offer advice in a public and moderated thread or even welcome OP to message you if THEY feel like it- the key thing being that it's initiated by them. But saying you will only offer advice over DM as your original message suggested puts OP in a vulnerable position.
I didn't want other to see my baggage and how I had been abused. But, mostly I realize that the op was going to do that child sh$( and think they ahbe forever to fix themselves when they don't. It's sad no one ever tries to tell children how to get away from their families. Because so many of these people think their children are their property. The kid lives outside the social norms by having parents that don't love them. Time for them to get used to it and get comfortable with breaking rules themselves. They need to find friend anywhere they can and start learning to fulfill their own desires before its too late and they become a lifelong and then dead doormat.
I and at least one other commenter have been giving OP advice on how to get away from their family. We have done so in public where our conversation with a minor can be monitored, and without bringing up our own personal baggage.
All you had to do was say "I had a similar experience with my own parents that I don't want to discuss publicly, but can do over DM if you want to hear about it" while still giving OP advice in the public thread. That puts the ball in OPs court. What you did - withholding advice and immediately asking to DM - makes it look like you have something shady you want to say to OP where others can't monitor you.
I'm so sick of this app. I do not have apple. And I could not see the other comments on the thread. Just the comments made to me and that ai made.
Like...Am I and is this so hard to understand? Just be honest.
To be honest, yes, you are hard to understand, though I am understanding better now that you have commented further. It doesn't help that you are acting like no one else is giving OP any advice when that isn't the case.
Reddit's design is garbage. And to be honest the kid needs a friend to talk to. Advice doesn't count for shit when they need new experiences and opportunities to understand.
I got into an accident and don't have anything but time until my eye and arms heal. I figured I could do something for someone with my free time other than the common BS where people give out lines of advice but not real support like the feeling you get when talking to someone in person.
First step...they need to hate their family...second plan formulate a plan to get out. Third step live life after your free from the unnatural things that raised them.
I didn't want to say anything out loud. But the law will not help them until they claim physical abuse and falsify evidence. Emotional abuse and neglect gets nothing from the state.
Remember I was hit and sexually abused by my family but because I was a boy and my family had money it got me nowhere.
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As a minor, you actually are suck for a while. But only for a while. There is an end date, the day you turn 18. And know this, getting away will improve your health dramatically. Your health issues are a result of the abuse. Once you are out and feel safe from them your body will start to heal.
Abusers go to great lengths to keep the abused dependent and confused. Start planning for your 18th birthday now. Get a hold of your important documents now. Save and hide any and all money you receive from now on. See if you can find remote gig work. It is a great way to do paid work while coping with health issues. It lets you distract yourself, gives you a feeling of self worth and gives you cash to leave when the opportunities to leave will come.
And there will be opportunities. An abuser can control a lot, but not everything. Get a go bag together so that you can take advantage of it as quickly as possible.
I highly recommend the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. It will give you insight on how to cope now and give you a head start on healing. Also the book The Body Keeps the Score will help you understand and start to navigate healing your body now.
I am so sorry you are trapped for now. Know it truly is just for now. I hope this helps. Hugz & Hugz & Hugz