hi reddit. i (20f) have recently been diagnosed with lymes disease and (potentially) lupus, both of which affect the muscles. i have a lot of trouble walking some days, and it gets particularly bad as the day goes on. i think a walking cane would be really helpful, but i dont want to offend anyone or take resources from people who may need it. after all, lymes and lupus are both treatable and i dont know if they even count as a disability. any opinions are appreciated ^ . for added context, im autistic and have struggled with diet my entire life. my poor diet has partially caused some of my issues, and i am working on it.
thank you for your response!
That said, don't hesitate to ask for a parking tag too if that will help you!
This right here! Can't tell you how much of a difference the parking tag makes!
I'd fall without my cane. Started with a walker and lots of physical therapy, which I still do. You don't need to justify having one to anyone.
i try to remind myself often that i don’t owe anyone an explanation, thank you :)
Nobody is owed your personal medical info, even if they ask or demand it. It is, however, helpful to have a pre-thought 'script' of sarcastic responses to throw at those RUDELY demanding your personal information. They are the ones being rude, matching their energy is totally reasonable.
I find that on my emotionally sensitive days, my response is to (loudly) say "Did you really mean to be that rude?" or "I beg your pardon".
If I'm stronger emotionally and/or pissed off, I would be more likely to say "Take a picture, it lasts longer" or "Fuck off, I owe you nothing, go judge people from somewhere far away from me". Or just "Fuck off". I'm not perfect lol.
just make sure you use it accurately and safely. get to a PT for feedback when you can, as inaccurate use or using the wrong mobility aid can cause damage. until then, the cane should reach your wrist lines when your arm is held relaxed and normally by your side with the shoe height you intend to wear. it goes on the side opposite of the bad leg/hip/etc. i personally find ergonomic handles way better than offset, but i also was pushing down pretty hard on the cane to alleviate pain, so switching to a forearm crutch was for me.
my advice is to get a cheap, usable one from walmart or such before you invest in a cute one.
And if applicable, check the weight limit on the cane. I’m a big gal, with balance issues due to a tumor on my right hearing/balance nerve. I got a cane as when I lost my balance I would always go to the right-the same side the tumor is on. And since I knew I would be possibly be using the cane to stop me from falling, so essentially putting my whole weight on the cane, I wanted it to be able to SAFELY take one and a half to two times my weight. So I got a “bariatric” cane that is rated for twice my weight. I actually got it from Amazon. They list the weight limit of most of the canes. And I assumed it was on the very low end of it didn’t.
ETA: It’s also a foldable cane, which is nice. For, like grocery shopping. I can fold the cane and put it in the cart and use the cart to balance and not be trying to hold on to the cane and push the cart at the same time.
this, too. this is very smart. especially with the quality of things plummeting nowadays.
My only problem is foldable canes and crutches etc is that it's much more difficult to drill extra holes in case you're really short or really tall.
Why is it supposed to be used on the opposite side? I've found that I move with less pain when using it on the same side.
this explains it probably better than i can atm: https://venturaortho.com/using-a-cane-properly/
i tried using mine on the bad side ("dr. house style") at first as well, because i didn't know what i was doing. it exaggerated my limp and was deeply uncomfortable.
I have no choice due to other injuries in the opposite shoulder, but my Physio showed me how not to push myself out of alignment.
I agree and I’ll add that depending on your issues, it can be healthy to move it around some. I have spinal problems and taking load off my spinal column works from either side, and I feel that moving it back and forth makes it easier to keep a balanced posture.
I feel like I've seen PTs recommend switching sides for bilateral pain, for what's it's worth too.
This does explain it very well thank you
It depends a bit on injury, but using it on the opposite side encourages the weaker/injured side to work a bit so the muscles won't get weaker, and/or cause compensation in other muscles & cause pain or injury elsewhere.
I had similar concerns about getting a cane. It took me months to finally convince myself that I needed one. Im so glad I finally got one because it definitely helps ease the pain. Get one for yourself! You deserve to have whatever mobility aid you need to get around more comfortably. Also yes, those diseases do count as disabilities. I have Undifferentiated connective tissue disease (basically Lupus-lite) and it is very disabling for me.
If you're really worried about it talk to the doctor.
i’ll talk to them today :)
I wear glasses that are basically just magnifying glasses (for both near and far) even though I don’t “need” them. My eyes fatigue during the day, which makes it hard for me to balance in the evenings. My eye doctor hoped that these glasses might help reduce the fatigue. Seems like the cane might do that for you. Just a way to reduce the fatigue and help you stay upright longer.
As others have said, we don’t need to gate keep here. Just thought I would chime in that you’re not alone.
Canes are the greatest. It's much easier to use than I thought compared to a walking stick and it's incredibly effective medically.
Of course it is ok. If you have any issues walking, regardless of any disabilities or not, you should have something to help you.
Get the cane. You don't want to risk a fall or something worse happening by not having one when you need it !
I got a cane for a similar reason. I have fibromyalgia and sometimes the muscle fatigue is so bad that I need it for balance and to kind of push myself along. I didn't have a recommendation from any health care professional; I just bought a $20 basic cane from Amazon. (It's my favorite color, purple.) It's awkward to walk with at first, but you just have to practice. They usually have them at the thrift store, too.
No one is gatekeeping canes. People can use them for fashion if they want to. As long as you’re not using it to cut in a line or take priority seating you don’t deserve or some other resource from an actually disabled person (talking about fashion cane, not you, you’re sick and need one) canes are fine to use however you think you need one. Lyme and lupus are pretty disabling and not always as treatable as we would want them to be.
You're entitled to use anything that helps you.
Of course. Make sure to use it properly, so that it truly helps you and doesn't cause any further strain. Ask your pharmacist about it, and/or watch educational videos on YouTube.
The only people you will likely offend are able people, if you want my opinion on that. Don't bother with "curious" people if you don't know them. You don't owe them any explanation, your do what you want with your time.
unrelated note i love your username lol
You don’t need to justify needing a cane or using one (or two)!
Canes are a mobility aid. Even if a condition is treatable or temporary that doesn’t change the fact that you need one (or two) now.
Use what you need to take care of yourself and be yourself.
As for partially blaming yourself for your Autism related diet issues please stop. Many (most?) of us have multiple conditions where one impacts the other.
Think of it this way: - Would you blame me for making my dysautonomia worse during the multiple weeks where I couldn’t eat well because my jaw was repeatedly partially dislocating and my burning mouth syndrome was flaring (feels like a bad sunburn in my mouth)?
I have hypermobile Ehler-Danlos Syndrome. My connective tissue doesn’t work well.
Your Autism with all its neurodiversity and environmental sensitivities is as much a part of you as my EDS is a part of me.
Check out Neo-Walk walking sticks’s in the UK social media, especially their Instagram. You’ll likely see people using canes that look more similar to you - especially in age - than in medical supply shops and ads.
If you need a cane use one. If you need to stim do so.
Go out in the world or stay home when that’s what makes you happy and use a big stick if you need it. ;-)
thank you so much !! :) your words are very very kind i appreciate it so much
Get a referral to occupational therapy. They are the ones who should evaluate and help you determine which mobility aid would be best for you
good idea!
Best thing I've heard on mobility aids: if you're thinking about getting one, you should get it. I got a rollator pretty soon after I got my diagnosis (luckily a friend found it at a garage sale for super cheap), it has been one of the best decision I could have made for my mobility!
I should mention I'm diagnosed with PPMS, which has made it extremely hard to go anywhere without an aid now, literally the day after I turned 31 😂. No matter the age, get the aids :)
no matter the age :) thank you, that means a lot
Do whatever helps you remain active and without pain that keeps you down.... Try a folding cane maybe they break down to the size of a lil umbrella
GOOD IDEA!! tysm!!
AuDHDer here. I’m 30 and just bought my first cane last Wednesday. I spent weeks on end debating similar things in my head. I also am waiting lab results for Lyme and other autoimmune stuff. ❤️
i hope your lab results come out good!
Thank you so much!
I’d recommend it. You might want to even consider crutches as they’re more even and you can lean on them when you’re tired.
I found, when I started using a cane, that people would give me a little more leeway if they saw me using it.
if you need a cane, even occasionally, use it.
it’s not offensive, it’s a tool.
Went are you asking if it's okay for you to use a walking assistance device when you need walking assistance?
Of course it is.
I started using a cane in my mid 20's. Perfectly acceptable for you too!
Do what you need to do.
I personally got a pair simply because i realized that they improve my safety drastically when im having a bad day and cant keep balanced. I even bought a walker for when i know im doing something beyond my actual capabilities, so i can minimize the bad effects.
Most mobility aids are generally highly produced, and they will not be affected by normal household purchases
Absolutely! I had a really bad injury last year and required a cane for most of that time. I'm choosing to keep my cane even though I no longer require it daily, but may need it in the future.
Also it has a really cute pattern lol
Get whatever aid you need for however long you need it, the important thing is your ability to get around!
Don’t worry about offending anyone. If you feel like you would be more safe and more comfortable walking with a walking cane then ask for one. You shouldn’t worry about making people angry. You should worry about your own comfort and safety. If people really have that much of a problem with it. I think they need to focus on their own lives, rather than gettting into someone elses life who is only thinking about their well-being! If you ever need to talk more or just want someone to hype you up for the conversation with your doctor to ask for a cane to be prescribed to you you can message me! I hope you get what you need to feel stable walking around!
Canes aren't a zero-sum game. There are enough to go around for those who need them. You wouldn't be taking anything away from anyone.
Mobility devices are there to help you get around. That's all. You don't need a prescription or even permission to use one. If it would help you, get one!
If it helps you, go for it.
One bit of advice: find one that works well with your height so you aren't putting unnecessary stress elsewhere on your body.
Further advice: getting fitted properly for medical equipment like a cane can be beneficial.
Plus there's short videos on YT if you're curious how best to walk with a cane.
But overall: no shame in using an aid if it helps you.
As someone who walks with a cane occasionally- do it. I get it. When i first started using one a few years back, I felt like shit because I thought i was too young and not disabled enough. Now I know there's no such thing as being "too young" or "not disabled enough". Bottom line is: if you think it would help you, tgen get one.
Lyme disease is cured with antibiotics. Lupus, however, can go into remission but relapse quite often. Canes are at just about any pharmacy, so that anyone who needs one can get one. If you feel using one will help you, then by all means get one! You don’t owe anyone any explaination.
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Canes are not in limited supply. They're not parking spots. Companies can just make more if they run out. Get it if you want.