This is not a flattering story, but I have to tell someone about this because I am genuinely disturbed by the “date” I just had. I (25M) have been single for a few years. For context, I will occasionally try my luck at dating apps but never consistently. Well, today was one of those days when my loneliness had gotten the better of me, so I started swiping.
Right away I matched with a VERY cute girl, she was my age and she lived literally around the corner from me. A four-minute drive. So we start talking, and right away she asks if I want to hang out. I had gotten out of work earlier and didn't have any plans so I said I was game. She wanted to smoke weed, which was my first red flag. I like weed as much as the next guy, but to suggest it as a first activity was strange. I'm known to get sort of weird and quiet on weed, so I much prefer a social lubricant like alcohol on first dates. But I didn't find it that strange so I was like, "Yeah I have a little bud, do you have any to match?" because she wanted to roll a blunt, and I wasn't sure I had enough weed for that. She tells me she has "no money". Red flag number two. I was like okay wait, why does an adult not have any money, I get the economy is bad but come on. I was becoming concerned that she was probably just a burnout stoner using me for smoke cause she's broke and can't buy bud. I have had encounters like this before during my upbringing in a city I won’t name, but I regularly refer to it as “the anus of New York state”. On the other hand, weed has also been a precursor to many of my best sexual experiences in the past, so you can sense my dilemma. Regardless, I felt that something was off, beyond what I’ve already pointed out. She seemed like she wanted to hang out RIGHT AWAY. This chick was cute in a real kind of way, like she wasn’t outlandishly beautiful like an obvious scam account might be. I’m a 6 on a good day, so she seemed legit for what I tend to pull. She sent me her address to pick her up and I checked the address out online, checked out but something still felt off. So I told her maybe later, I jacked off and then I took a nap hoping it would provide me with wisdom and insight on whether to smoke weed with this stranger. I woke up just as lost, and I was going to smoke weed anyway, so I was like, okay I'll bite. Let's go see exactly what we're dealing with.
I tell her I need to run to a dispensary to grab some bud and I ask if she would like to come with me, she says yes. I pick her up and I see she's followed outside by a girl, who looked like her sister or mom, yelling something at her. She gets in my car and to say I am not greeted warmly is an understatement. I introduced myself and asked her how she was doing, and she responded by asking "What's your name again?". This was not encouraging. Side note, she did not look like she did in her pictures, she seemed like she’d gained some weight, I’m not a bastard I still thought she was attractive, because she was, but she also looked older. I realized the pictures she used were probably from a few years back.
I attempted to engage her in conversation, which was torture. She seemed agitated and fidgety. When she started talking though, she didn't stop. She seemed manic, which is impossible to ignore if you’ve seen it before, I had seen it during a family member's mental episode and countless times while working in a mental health facility. At this point, I wasn’t sure of that fact, but I was beginning to pick up on signs. Her phone was blowing up the entire ride to the dispensary, she said something along the lines of "They're blowing up my phone" and I said "Who's they?" to which she said nothing. She didn't say "nobody" or "nothing don't worry about it", she just didn't speak. I would come to discover this is her baseline, she would respond to like 3 out of 4 of my questions. A quarter of the time she just responded in silence, which was off-putting to say the least, but also sort of hilarious in retrospect. She is telling me about her life and how "they took her license because they said I was drunk" which is an elegant way of describing a DUI. She tells me about how she is out of work and lost multiple jobs for fighting coworkers. She is not describing this in a cute look at me kind of way, she's describing it in the way where she doesn't realize how wild what she's saying actually is, or maybe she just didn't care. I quickly realized what predicament I had gotten myself into, I was driving at highway speeds with a person experiencing a mental episode. I turned to avoid a pothole, and the way she reacted you'd think I was heading towards a wall at 100 miles per hour. She would periodically wince in pain and grab her forehead, I ask her if she's okay and she would say yes or just not respond. We get to the weed store and I haven't ever purchased bud so fast in my entire life, she insisted on coming in which seemed preferable to leaving her in my car, but in my head the entire time I'm waiting for her to flip a fucking lid on some poor employee. We get out fine and I start driving back to our town while listening to her wax poetically about her awful life through the lens of what I assume was her schizophrenia or some BPD. She kept saying the n word, and I wasn't shocked because most SoCal Latino city girls do, but she was hitting the hard r unintentionally every time and it really tripped me out I almost laughed. I remember asking her "Who are you closer with, your mom or your dad?" to which she replied, "Neither". She just got done telling me how she goes back and forth between their houses every few months and that she kind of "lives all over". She also described how she had a terrible relationship with all her siblings. Beyond this, her body language was way off and I knew there was no way I could ever let this individual know where I lived, so I suggested we smoke at a park right around the corner from where she lived.
I didn't want her smoking weed, because who knows what that would do to her in this state, but I knew for sure it wouldn't help. I asked her when the last time she smoked was and she said “earlier today” so I figured it would be fine. I wanted to part ways then and there but I couldn't explain that to her in a way where she wouldn’t freak the fuck out. We are talking about someone with a formidable temper, as evidenced by her entire life story she just got done telling me. By the way, I cannot understate the mania I'm watching in my passenger seat, it was becoming very obvious.
So we get out and find a corner of the park and she begins rolling up the blunt. It was dark out and she became agitated at me for not holding the light "the right way" so she could see. For a brief moment, we are actually engaging in a somewhat decent conversation. This did not last very long. At one point she lifted her arms and smelled her armpits for what was longer than is socially acceptable. I asked her if she smelled good, kind of jokingly, and she said flatly “No, I stink”. We started smoking and things went from bad to worse, as predicted. She stopped communicating with me entirely. She began laughing and muttering to herself, and when I asked what was funny she did not respond. She began grabbing at her head and wincing in pain. She was literally rocking from side to side like she was in severe pain, BUT SHE WASN’T RESPONDING TO ME. She looked possessed by a demon, which in retrospect puts that entire phenomenon into perspective for me. How many schizophrenic people got demons exercised because no one knew about mental illness? Anyway, I am now stoned hanging out with someone in DEFCON Delta mental illness mode and let me tell you, they are not good companions. I am sitting there waiting for her to pounce on top of me and start stabbing me with a knife, or screaming rape or something at the top of her lungs. I am petrified. I was like, "Hey, how about I walk you home?" she said "Walk?" and I explained how I wanted to walk since we were so close, literally a five-minute walk up the street, and I wanted to sober up a bit before driving. The real reason was I did not want this person in my car. She did not respond to this. It seemed to make her more agitated. We were just sitting there in this silence while she tweaked out, it was consuming my soul. I had to leave.
I told her I was going to leave and she said she wanted to hang out and asked why I was leaving. I made up some bs excuse about having to work in the morning. She then asked “Well can I have some weed?” and I felt so bad for her that I gave her like half the bag. Even in my panic I knew I was going to need the other half of that bag later so that I could forget about what I just experienced. We got up and left and I watched her walk away, muttering to herself. I realize now that the texts were probably her family realizing their mentally ill relative is leaving to go smoke weed with some guy she met online. I didn’t consider that at the time because she was a grown-ass 25-year-old woman, and I did not know she was totally Looney Tunes. Either that or the texts were from the guys laying in wait planning to surprise mug me. I got home and was so shaken up. I couldn’t believe what I just witnessed. I felt like I was in actual danger being around her. She immediately unmatched me on Tinder, I was so paranoid about her claiming I did something I didn’t do, as crazy people are to do, but luckily she texted me “Thank You :)” which made me laugh because what the fuck, but that also covered my ass a bit. I responded, “You’re Welcome!” and left it at that. Then two hours later I got a “wyd?” text. I’ve resolved to never contact this person again in my entire life. I like crazy women but not like that, this person was cracked out. I do feel bad for her, she was obviously going through something, but sheesh what a drag. Be careful online dating folks.
TLDR: I met up with a Tinder match who was in the middle of having a full-blown manic episode.
