I chuckled, "No it doesn't!"
My wife is fed up with my constant stream of dadjokes jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?!" She shot back, "Whatever means necessary!!"
Secondary definition, whatever means the exact item I have in mind. As in:
"What would you like for your birthday?"
"Oh, you know, just get me whatever."
What should we get for dinner?
I don't know, just get whatever...
... which means you get the exact thing I want that even I don't know what it is, but I'll know when I see it.
I hate getting the list of what she doesn’t want, and THEN when I ask for specifically what she wants I get I don’t know, but I don’t want any of what you already listed!
And I’m here already deciding what I’m going to eat depending on where we eventually decide to eat 3 hours later :(
There is a trick to avoid that:
Me: what do you want to eat?
Her: idk
Me: guess
Whatever she guesses :
exactly, wow you're too good
ooh ok will try this on her 😁
Tell her if she wants to eat she'll pick or she'll go where you choose
Sounds good in theory but in reality the first words out of her mouth is "ew there? I don't want to eat there"
😑
"then don't eat"
I’ll take “Words I won’t say” for $1,000, Alex
Daily double. Oh, the wager is sleeping outside? I loose no matter what I say?
I want off mr bones wild ride 🙁
…and, then my wife complains that we never talk…😖
I see someone else has also been married or in LTR.
"Don't buy me anything" is code for I've instructed you not to buy me anything so let's see if they still care enough to get me something anyway
For guys it's "Whew I'm off the hook" followed by: "fuck I've messed up"
The trick is to read these to my wife out of arms reach.
😄😅🤣
"You don't have to get me anything." is Femalian for, "Fuck around and find out."
As a female who has a dadjoke sense of humor, this is beautiful.
When I start reading them to my kids my wife joins in trying to top me! Lol. Kids go running 🏃♂️ lol
Aww that's cute lol
Literally me right here. I make them at work and at home. We had a very stubby burrito at work and they’re supposed to be longer. So I said it’s a burrito with one r. It’s too short for the r roll. So burito
indeed it means by "whatever means necessary" (it was funnier in my head)
Some words that mean necessary:
“essential, indispensable, inevitable, infallible, needed, needful, required, requisite, unavoidable, undeniable”
I'm sorry, bud. But they're "Dad jokes", not "Husband jokes", lol...she shouldn't be annoyed. They're supposed to drive our kids nuts...and they do, with mine! Lol
The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?" The pirate said: “Aye, it's driving me nuts.”
Bargain
I love this!!! Lmao
Reminds me of when kids say I'm done when they have just given up before trying
She shot back......
"......ahhhhhhh....you....you shot me!!!"
"Whatever means necessary...."
dies
"Lol. Now you can start with dead jokes"
hi guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuis
its a me loigi'
It does.
Me: should I get you flowers for valentines day?
Wife: whatever..