Just checking my privilege
And remembering that the goal of healing is not to be perfect, ideal, superior, invincible, impenetrable and imperturbable (which was my default, sabotaging and counterproductive belief, wish and mindset when dysregulated from trauma, but all too understandable as a traumatised child's most earnest wishful hope from their magical imagination.)
The goal of healing is to be able to open upto coregulation again, which is the same path as opening upto trust and intimacy again. From there, my system can learn to re-regulate and self-regulate. When my system can do that, it can heal again and I no longer need to be perfect, ideal, invincible, indestructible, inert and impenetrable.
The goal of healing is to be able to rupture and repair in relationships again. To be able to tolerate triggering in a relationship, re-regulate and return to the relationship to negotiate common ground and boundaries, accept and respect differences and preferences and navigate the ebb and flow of connection.
Healing is always possible!
Ugh thank you for this. I’ve been checking my privilege too. I realize how much I have when I speak to my family in other countries. My naïveté and of course “US Blindness on local or international issues.” I admit, I am Latina, 1st Gen American “technically,” (my dad’s family is Puerto Rican), but in a lot of things, I am a gringa.