Is it common for people to offer to host you?

Hello, I am very new to Couch Surfing and I have only met a few people just to hangout so far.

Now that I am going to start treveling, I got 3 offers from people(all men) to host me. I am a woman. One of them has quite a good review, the other two has only like 2 references so I declined. And it's all for the entire year..? Which means if I accept the offer, I get to stay the entire year??? This cannot be how it works, right?

The thing is I myself don't have any references at all and only have 2 friends. Even though I met more than 2 people and I thought we had a good time, they didn't accept my friend request lol. I have a long profile, but that's it. So I don't think I would have a good chance if I submit requests.

Are these offers quite common and safe enough? Am I overthinking? What do you think?

in couchsurfingby notsry4brokenenglish

67%

26d

WestVirginia5

CS host in the Netherlands +75 guests

26d

"And it's all for the entire year..? Which means if I accept the offer, I get to stay the entire year??? This cannot be how it works, right?"

That's defenitely not how it works. When you post a public trip you'll have to select an arrival and departure date. In general most hosts don't host longer than 3-4 days. So don't assume you can stay somewhere for the entire week or longer. If you're planning to stay somewhere for a weekor longer, you better spread your stay over various number of hosts.

When you post a public trip it's common that some weirdos will respond to your trip. Imo it's better to send out requests to people with good references instead. I'm not saying none of the people who respond to public trips are good people, but unfortunately there's quite a few male hosts just looking for sex on this platform. So always use your instincts.

What you could do, mention in your profile that you are not here on CS for dating purposes and that you have a bf, that way it's less likely to receive offers from creeps. Wishing you a great Couchsurfing experience and happy travels !

notsry4brokenenglish

26d

Thanks for the explanation!

I don't want to assume these people are weirdos juat because they have nothing on their profile, but I will take your advice and send out requests.

Do you know why some people don't accept friend requests even though we hung out and shared contacts and even promised to meet again in the future(though very low possibility)?

emchocolat

hyperactive host + cs amb

26d

On CS, friendship literally opens doors: if you request to stay with me and I see you're a friend of a past surfer I liked, I'm more likely to say yes.

As such, I don't accept friend requests unless I actually know, have hosted and very much like the person. It's not like other social networks where I'll add people without ever having met them.

Grouchy_Can_5547

26d

Well CS is about connecting and sharing experiences. What experiences are they interested in sharing with you if their profile is blank and they have little references?

CS isn't for collecting friends or followers in the same way Instagram is

SCDWS

26d

I don't want to assume these people are weirdos juat because they have nothing on their profile

For your safety, I'd actually recommend that you do. Also be wary of men who have 75% or more female references as they usually have other intentions. The fact that all their references could be positive is irrelevant as people are much less likely to leave negative references after an uncomfortable experience.

emchocolat

hyperactive host + cs amb

26d

Why would you request for an entire year ? Nobody's going to host you for free for that long. 2-3 days is common.

Grouchy_Can_5547

26d

free stuff and save money. ohh, you thought it was about the cultural exchange.

notsry4brokenenglish

26d

I had no idea posting a public trip actually meant requesting for a stay. I put it up to meet people and mostly hang out and let them know I am not there temporarily.

emchocolat

hyperactive host + cs amb

26d

I see. There are local discussion forums for that, you should see yours on your dashboard (website, not app) and you can introduce yourself there :). Public trips are there to help you find a host, although they're not ideal as you've noticed ! Local hosts can go to the list of travellers to their area, people who have posted public trips, to offer a place to stay to the travellers they choose. Please remove your public trip, as you'll be popping up in local hosts' travellers lists for the next year if not.

notsry4brokenenglish

26d

Yikes, that's good to know.

But I already got really a lot of messages from the locals and other travelers to hang out since I posted a public trip. And I didn't even start traveling. So even though I am not going to accept cold offers from the hosts, isn't it still a good way to meet people

Is there any disadvantage by ignoring or declining the offers from hosts? Or should I remove mine so I don't take up the space for other people who actually need a stay?

emchocolat

hyperactive host + cs amb

26d

You're not taking up any space, but people will assume you want a host, and many won't answer because you're asking to stay for free for a year. There aren't any disadvantages to declining, but please don't ignore, these are people offering to open up their home to you. Otherwise, yes, sure.

notsry4brokenenglish

26d

Understood. Thank you so much for breaking it down for me. That was super helpful!

Grouchy_Can_5547

26d

Please take initiative as a new member and reach out to the most experienced users with a variety of references from people of both genders and all backgrounds.

Outside of that. Your instincts are quite correct. Sorry to say.

Have you considered hosting before your big trip?

Also please search "public trip" for extended discussions on this subject

notsry4brokenenglish

26d

Ah, that's a bummer.

Thanks for the answer. I wish I had joined this app sooner, but I was reluctant until I actually joined. I met probably 5 people so far in real life, and it was all pleasant. Unfortunately, my place has no space for hosting.

I will search public trip. Thanks!

Grouchy_Can_5547

26d

5 people? All guys? What was the gender breakdown.

And there's many ways to give back. Some travelers are willing to sleep on the floor.

What about showing other people around (women travelers) in your city? You could invite them into your world or even have a safe dinner and drink with people visiting

notsry4brokenenglish

26d

The messages I get are probably 95% men and 5% women. At first, I was very skeptical about this app and selective. I actually met 6 people, 4 men and 2 women. People I met from these people don't count.

When I met them I tried to show around the city. They told me they very much enjoyed my company, we shared contacts, and all of them told me they'd love to meet me again. But only 2 of them did the friend request and others didn't accept my request, so maybe it wasn't that good. Buuut to be fair, I wasn't really acting like a guide as in properly introducing the city. What I did was just meet these people and hang out and have a chat. But it's because that's what they wanted to do.

For women travelers, I personally found it a lot harder to meet and hang out with them compared to men. They often ignore my messages or can be flaky and usually seem to expect a bit more from me. Since I am a newbie, I didn't know how to be a proper host. So I had to get help from the couchsurfers I met. I think I am still learning, though.

Grouchy_Can_5547

26d

Interesting. thanks for explaining. I find there's a bit of an unsaid dating element in mixed gender meetups. One side wants to be entertained and have a good time and the other sometimes wishes for sexual desires indirectly/directly

notsry4brokenenglish

26d

I agree.

I wasn't using this app for quite a while even after I signed up because as a no reference newbie, most of the messages or hang out requests I got was from very sketchy guys, or other local men. Why would I use this app to meet other local men....? That's why I didn't try with this app but now I have no references, lol

Grouchy_Can_5547

26d

Yeah I enjoy meeting up with small mixed groups to avoid this dynamic. And frequently a hangout won't occur among heterosexual people if a women isn't involved lol.

atiaa11

26d

It’s common if you’re a woman

Sheetmusicman94

25d

Please read more about couchsurfing, from their official blog and from their code of conduct / rules. I know you are a beginner but exactly this, people not knowing how couch surfing should work, is why the platform often sucks for people.

social-media-promo

24d

It's very common have people message you saying they can host you if you're a girl. Guys would rarely get this offer I would say unless they have an amazing profile with lots of good references. For girls even if your profile is blank with 0 references people will offer to host you.

Best thing is to see other host profile and you message first.

pietkuip

26d

It has happened that I invited travellers that had posted a public trip. I live in a small place with few surfers, and Couchsurfing would then send an email that someone was looking for a place. That mail looked then as if that person was requesting a couch with me, at least that was the impression that I got.

But I agree with others: posting public trips is not the best way.

notsry4brokenenglish

26d

Oh, I got it.

I think I get tons of more messages since I posted my public trip though. I haven't started my travel yet but I think at least 10 people want to meet me. Before then, I rarely got messages.

So do you think it's good to keep my public trip info just for this?

pietkuip

26d

I have posted a public trip once or twice. That did not get that much response, but I am a guy. Once in a big city (Kyiv) and there I stayed with a family (they wanted English conversation for their son).

notsry4brokenenglish

26d

Yeah, that's the thing. I got messages from only 2 women, and all of the others are men. I guess that's quite normal. I am not complaining because most of them seem cool and many have a lot of references.

I just wish I could get some references so I don't look suspicious or weird lol

Glittering_Chemist86

26d

Don't trust references! A lot of people are too reluctant to write bad references. I'm often astounded of couchsurfers staying with a guy who has close to 100% references from females and being surprised after.

notsry4brokenenglish

26d

That's unfortunate :( Thanks for the advice, and I will be careful.

stevenmbe

26d

And it's all for the entire year..? Which means if I accept the offer, I get to stay the entire year??? This cannot be how it works, right?

Can you explain this further? You did not post a travel plan for an entire year, did you? Because if you did indeed that is not how this works.

surviveBeijing

26d

I tend to only host people who have not been able to find a host. I.e. people whose trip is still visible but they are arriving in the next few days.

I regularly send out invites to them as the date approaches to ask if they need help or not.

....as for the year long stay....I can't say that I have hosted anyone that long, nor would I agree to that before any kind of meeting. But on two separate occasions, I have had people end up staying over 6 months. I'm still in close contact with them. We really got along. But that just kind of happened. We didn't discuss it in advance

Sheetmusicman94

25d

I am a guy, so .. nope. I need to write myself and maybe 1 of 10 messages succeeds.