I want to preface this by saying I am an awful person for what I have done to not only myself but my girlfriend and I wish I could take it all back and no this is not some shitpost or fetish porn story this is a serious post and I’m here for advice not attention.

I (18M) and my girlfriend (18F) met in our freshman year of high school and became friends quickly and started dating in our sophomore year but our relationship is mostly just hugs and kisses since my girlfriend wants to take our relationship slow and wait till we’re married to do things like having sex, the only time we did something different was in our junior year of high school since we used to do stupid things all the time like sneaking out and shoplifting and one time we had sex when her mom wasn’t home which we both regret and have agreed to wait till marriage. We’re both seniors in high school now and will be graduating in a few weeks, I have a good relationship with her two siblings (18M) and (17F) and her mom sadly her dad passed away in a car accident in 2022 which is one of the reasons she started to do the crap we did in our junior year since she wanted to cope.

So I’m staying at her house for a few days since my parents are currently having guests over at our house and my only option is to sleep on the couch and I chose to stay with my girlfriend instead, I got home from school yesterday and my girlfriend and her siblings were at her cousins (16F) birthday party and her mom stayed home since she was taking care of her friends dog this week and couldn’t leave him alone. I just went in my girlfriends room and watched Netflix for a while and I eventually went downstairs to get a snack and on my way to the kitchen her mom called for me to come over so I went over and asked what’s up and she just wanted to talk to me since she was feeling lonely so we talked for a bit just normal friendly banter, eventually she started being I guess sort of flirty and I was uncomfortable but tried to be nice and eventually she asked me to put my hands on her and I really wish I didn’t but I did.

She eventually realized I was uncomfortable and felt bad about it and told me I could leave and here’s where I was a piece of complete shit, I didn’t leave and I continued to touch her knowing what I was doing was wrong and I got horny as I kept touching her breasts and crotch and I want to take a pause for a minute and just let you all know how fucked up I am, I was so desperate for sexual pleasure I didn’t even care what I was doing and how I was touching her fucking mom. One thing led to another and well we had sex and when we finished I just went upstairs and cried, I can’t believe I hurt not only myself but my girlfriend and our relationship and her trust it’s all over now.

I took the day off school today since I just couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed, I haven’t told my girlfriend yet but if I do she’ll definitely break up with me and if I lie I’ll feel too guilty I’m a horrible fucking boyfriend and don’t even deserve her. This isn’t her moms fault she told me I could leave and I pushed for sex and now I just ruined my chances of getting married and starting a family with her because our relationship is fucking over and I can’t tell anyone about this so I’m coming to you Reddit for advice.