I'll try to be short. Me (18F) and him (18M) have kind of history. He tried to drunkenly hook up, I refused more rudely than was necessary. He talked about me with his friends, I talked about him with my friends and we both know that. We both find eachother very attractive. We were on the same party, he didn't know I was there until he came (I don't usually hang with that friedgroup). His face dropped, he couldn't look me in the eyes. While I was talking with the other guy (I had to, we were filming something) he just stood there and stared. When I looked at him, he quickly looked away. That happened many times that night. I cought him looking again but he didn't notice that I'd seen him. He raised his eyebrows, sighed and shook his head looking at the other side like he regrets something. You had to be there to see it, I can't describe it. It was a look that everyone interpreted as: I had one chance to get her and I fucked up, now she's hanging out with all my friends and I can't even look her in the eyes. Also, before he came and before he knew I was there, he asked everyone to go out after filming. He was the only one that went home after. Looking for your opinions, thanks!
These days guys have to be really careful about consent, you said no and admitted to being really rude about it. That's a sure fire "never ask again" situation if you don't want be labeled a creep/stalker/r***ist. If you actually like the guy and were just off that night your going to need to approach him yourself and probably apologize for being rude
So you refused him rudely , you probably killed anything you had between you. if you wanna fix it , start with " sorry " , but don't expect anything. If you don't , then just move on. The look you describe might be dejection.
He's shy. He's also respecting your rejection. He asked to talk to you, and you basically indicated you wanted him to leave you alone.
If you want to start something with him, the ball is now in your court. You have to approach him, maybe say sorry about the other day (that would be respectful and honest and he would appreciate that), do you want to (fill in the blank), or start some kind of conversation like ask for his number or something.
He can't really approach you right now even if he wanted to. He did, you said not now. He's respecting your wishes. So, up to you.
i kinda don’t get what you mean by “more rudely than necessary” Unless you did something completely over the top i can’t really image what that could mean, and that affects my response
He approached me and asked me to go outside with him, to get away from people. I would've said yes but I thought it was a joke, I was in fight or flight mode. I said no, my friend is waiting for me and just walked off. That's what I mean by rude.
i don’t think that’s super rude or anything, especially in a party setting. To me it sounds like you staged an excuse that makes sense in context. Maybe he’s just shy in general? unless something really mean was said when you guys talked about each other to ur friends
I think he's just shy. I know that he asked his friends about me and told them that he finds me very attractive. He also knows that I find him attractive because my friend told him (without my knowledge). My guess is that he thinks I'm joking with him about liking him because I would't turn him down if I liked him.
you didn’t really turn him down, because in my opinion he didn’t really explicitly ask for anything? He asked to step away and you explained you couldn’t because you were waiting for someone. If he’s shy in general it probably just made him more nervous, but i don’t think you did anything wrong or worth apologizing for. I would probably just casually approach him so he knows that you like talking to him
Yeah I guess you're right. Also, I haven't mentioned that he first approached my bsf. He asked her if I was single. She said yes and he wouldn't believe her, he was like no you're joking, you're fucking with me, are you fr and so on. She told him to approach me. She knew I liked that guy for a really long time. And when he did and I turned him down he probably thought that we wanted to make him look dumb or smthg. Idk.
you didn’t turn him down dude he didn’t ask you anything? 😭😭
Ugghhhgg I just can't explain it properly !! My bsf told him to go shoot his shot because I was waiting for him. He grabbed my arm, turned me to face him and asked me to exit the party with him so we can be alone. Idk how to explain better😭 And I guess he didn't think I would say no because my bsf literally told him that he better hurry to get me.
He is going to remember that until the day he dies
Gosh it wasn't supposed to turn out like that.
that sounds like your friends fault😭 why would she send him over without talking to you about it
Cuz we both hoped that that would happen. She did nothing wrong for setting me up with a guy I like. I'm in the wrong for getting scared
You rejected him... people don't tend to like rejection, especially teenagers who lack experience. Case solved.
no one likes rejection and you just fucked up your chances by shooting him down... it makes you unattractive doing that to him
I know but I'm also just a teen scared of being used and made fun of and being asked out as a joke
well its like food.. until you try it how will you know you dont like it? even if you are used you learn from your mistakes. hard to explain because i was once your age and scared to date. went through 6 women and found the one i married. i was dumped and cheated on multiple times. cried and felt rejected but i learned from it all. thats what life is all about. so if you really like this guy have a serious talk before you get into it and tell him why you said no.
I really do plan on doing that. I'm an open book after you meet me but I can't seem to make that first step
try practicing with a friend to ask them out even better if hes a guy and if you dont attempt it youll never get what you want.
Don’t expect him to initiate anything if you rejected him the last time-have an actual conversation with him or leave it
How if he doesn't want to look at me
You say his name to get his attention? And then ask if you can talk to him- maybe apologize for not being straightforward/or being rude when you rejected him
If you’re in the same friend group, you could approach him just to have a friendly conversation. Start by explaining why you said no before. From there, it’s up to you, either tell him you want to remain friends, or something more.
Both of you guys are amateurs. Get some more miles under your feet, and this will happen less in the future, hopefully. As you get older you’ll realize nothing beats face to face honesty.