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I’ve only had that app for three months and I’ve probably have never been exposed to so much xenophobia, racism, homophobia, ableism, and every form of ignorance and bigotry online. Every single day I see something that absolutely disturbs my peace. It’s rather diaspora wars, zionism, homophobia, or just straight up nazis on that app. The unreasonable guidelines don’t help also. I’ve seen so many disgusting things that I just shouldn’t have ever been subjected to. I don’t know if I’m soft but the amount of hate, stupidity, and genuine brain rot on the app has actually made me cry. Like I don’t know if I’m the problem but what the hell is wrong with twitter? At first the app was really funny for like the first three days I downloaded it but after that everything just went downhill.

It’s is, we literally upgrade the DNA and thought process of anyone we decide to love and put time into. I noticed that everybody I’ve ever had a serious relationship with, literally becomes regal… not just to me but family and friends always see a big difference. When the relationship is over I feel used and drained of energy and time ( we always power back up tho) .So don’t let anybody use you for an upgrade who doesn’t deserve it 💕.

& if so, what does that look like to you?

So I (25F) have two pretty awesome roommates. One is black one is white. We live in NYC & get along pretty well. Over the past year we’ve grown fairly close as a trio and have introduced each other to our circle of friends.

But here’s my issues I feel that I’m always having to code switch around them and it makes it hard for me to myself. Whenever my white roommate Caitlyn invites me and my other blk roommate Lianne out. It’s always in very white gentrified spaces in NY. Now granted I don’t mind partying with white people it really doesn’t bother me and more often times than not I find myself enjoying my outings with Caitlin and her white friends.

My issue is that whenever I propose that we do things that are more “cultured” or diverse I feel like they always have a million and one reasons/excuses as to why they can’t make it. “Too tired” “too busy” “have to visit family” & it’s been this way for a year.

I should also note that even though Lianne is blk she moreso identifies w white culture white music white friends white boyfriends etc. so I feel she more seamlessly fits into those spaces. I do too in my own way but it would be nice to switch it up. And not have to code switch every time.

I feel bad cause last night after all 3 of us were headed home & I was drunk, I invited them to an event in Brooklyn and of course they can’t make it. So I snapped and pretty much said “I don’t always want to be one of three blk people when I go out” I looked at my white friend and said how would you feel if you were always the minority. I feel bad cause it’s not her fault that she hangs around so many white ppl. But it bothers me that she doesn’t seem to ever make an effort for things I want to do. So do you guys think I was tripping?

Hi girls! I feel like this group gives solid advice and I want to ask you ladies for your unbiased opinions. I’ve commented allot in here so some of you are already familiar with me, some of you may not be. So very quick backstory

I’m 32(f) who’s married to a wonderful husband and we share a 4yr old girl. We have been together for 7 years and married for 6 of those years. I’m black American and he’s Japanese and English. I am from states moved over seas 11 years ago and briefly moved back to the states but we are officially back in Japan and the UK. We live primarily in Japan and will be in the UK a couple of months out the year and do frequent there often. I work in fashion marketing and has worked in high fashion for 11 years

It’s my dream to work in fashion and I’m obsessed with fashion and I love it. I made quite the career. But ever since having my daughter and something that happened to me while at work, I am losing interest in work now. I was always a career boss chick and super feminist but after life changing experiences I think I want to take a step back for a few years and just relax because I have been working hard for again 11 years. Straight out of college. I’m not complaining it’s been great but after an injury and birth of my daughter I feel like a hamster running on the wheel

For years my husband recommended I quit working because although I make good money he makes way more than I do and that’s just his salary not with bonuses. It feels like my money is just play money because we really don’t need it. But I’m independent and feminist and something about depending on a man feels like I’m a sellout to everything I stand for. But I don’t have the passion I once had. I want to start my clothing business and my husband backs me 100% but something about abandoning the job I dreamed about feels wrong

He’s a great husband and father, I trust him but I think it’s just the way I was raised to not depend on anyone and work is keeping me from leaving. I’m officially a Japanese citizen soon I’ve lived in Japan 8 wonderful years and speak fluent N5 Japanese. I find joy at home when I’m with my daughter and dogs and when I see my horses in the UK. I want to take time off work to enjoy my family and then launch my business. However the guilt won’t let me let go. I can’t explain it.

I feel like I’m letting women down by being a work girl and just dipping from the work force I don’t know why but I feel bad. And my friends are usually feminist and they tell me I am a hypocrite because I said women who want to rely on men aren’t feminists. Again foolish thing I said and after life events I changed my mind on that stance. So between friends dragging me and my own mom saying it doesn’t matter if I make significantly less than my husband I should work anyway, to my own guilt to of leaving a career I fought hard for I’m conflicted.

Sorry for the long post. If anyone has any opinions or felt this way please comment. I need to make my decision this week. I don’t know what to do.

I’m so tired of all the porn being here and nobody doing anything

Do yall think Diddy's downfall will create a ripple effect throughout Hollywood? Or at least black Hollywood? I feel like he has so many connections to people & the rumors about the sex parties & TD Jakes & Biggie's murder, I feel like this is only the beginning.

I’ve been having trouble at work ever since I announced my pregnancy. Very soon, I’m sure my job will come to an end. I’ve been feeling really down about it lately, trying my hardest not to get depressed.

I didn’t go about the situation in an extremely cautious manner, because I assumed this wouldn’t turn into a legal issue for me. I assumed they wouldn’t discriminate against me because we’re all black women working together, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. I feel so stupid and naive. I should’ve handled everything in writing and through emails.

I’m afraid I don’t have solid proof against them and that I’ll just lose in the end.

Why does seeing attractive Black women upset some men? They literally get upset when they find out a woman who’s Black can be attractive. Why does this happen?

They talk about Black women being masculine but we constantly half to be on the defense against racist vitriol.

I feel like I'm becoming more and more insecure about my looks as I age, I have very low self esteem and feel the need to look at myself in the mirror just analysing my face for hours. I always feel like I'm ugly even when I try to change something about my appearance it never works, its worse when I see girls that are better looking or my cousin's or people I grew up with that have had a glow up but my face still looks the same It just ruins my day and makes me feel worse the recent smile lines that I've developed have also made me feel like shit even more. What's weird is that when I see girls with similar features to me, I always find them beautiful and compliment them but I can't do the same for myself, I feel like I'm the ugliest thing on the planet. How can I get over my looks and accept it because it's affecting me daily.

I feel super insecure about the way I look. Specifically my weight. My boyfriend is so gorgeous, handsome, just overall beautiful and a lot of people notice. Whereas I am 85kg (187 pounds) without clothes, and with clothes I'm 95kg (209 pounds). I used to weight 62kg at 18 years old, I'm 20 now. His sister's friends told him my worst fears which came to fruition, that was 'he can do better than' me.

What's worse is that I used to have an eating disorder. My mum always used to disparage me because of my weight and call me a twig and eat more, now that I have gained weight, she keeps telling me to go to the gym. I've been running since February, and no change has been seen. I changed my eating style too. I want to do cute tiktok videos with my boyfriend, but I feel reluctant to, because I know what everyone in the comments will say and think.

I'm on antipsychotic medication and this is what started the weight gain. I've asked to be prescribed weight loss medication, but so far I'm just being gaslit when I've tried every other avenue. I feel that I shouldn't be this way at 20 years old, I should have fun. I have a harsh inner critic too.

This isn’t some selfish rant where I go on about how my perfect my hair is or anything.

But 4 years of struggling to find my style and appearance got to to the point where black woman and sometimes people outside of my race ask about the process, the products I use, and generally how I keep up with it.

I don’t know it just feels so good cause it’s not like normal straight hair where most of the time is a brush and go. Every morning it’s. Wet, condition, fluff, shake wink in the mirror and go.

And I’m so glad that my hair gets the attention cause it means that I’m getting there. I didn’t make it yet but I’m getting there.

And if you guys are learning about how to handle your hair from 4 years of struggle, trial and error and crying.

You will get there you will be confident in your hair and you will be proud of yourself. We are amazing and if we put our amazingness in our hair we became extravagant black beautiful women.

I love y’all 🥰