you are not the disability police!

This post has been marked as non-political. Please respect this by keeping the discussion on topic, and devoid of any political material.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Used to be a carer for my nan.

Park in the seniors parking at southland, on the way out I got the car before Nan, old lady screaming at me for parking there.

then up walks 92 year old nan.

I hope the idiot had a moment of realisation and apologised to you and your daughter afterwards.

I wouldn’t bet on it though.

I can't think of any scenario when approaching someone about their legitimacy to park in a disabled spot is going to make my life better.

You know who doesn't look disabled: my carer, who drives me to places and then sits in the car after having wheeled me in my wheelchair to wherever (usually a doctor). But you should see the looks he gets. Or not, because you just saw it.

Heck, the number of looks I get for being able to get it if the car and into the wheelchair mostly by myself, because I can take a few steps and stand for a few seconds. Ugh. What is it with people thinking if you can wiggle your toes at all you're able to walk the full length and breadth of a Westfield

I'm so sorry you had that happen, wishing all the healing to your little girl.

It's funny how the dichotomy of being disabled works.

"i don't look disabled" and "you can walk anyway"

Neither do I, because my disabilities aren't physically visible, they involve my senses. I don't outwardly look disabled, but when someone tries to talk to me and realises I can't fucking hear a word they're saying, their whole demeanour shifts and they start getting very condescending and rude, treating me as though I'm mentally disabled when I'm most definitely not.

Check the permit not the driver

Whenever someone tells me I don't look disabled I tell them they don't look like a doctor.

I used to have this all the time with my mum. She has MS which wasn't always as severe as it is now. Sometimes she could walk without crutches but with difficulty and without fail some dickhead would come and accuse her of parking illegally despite the permit being clearly visible on the dashboard.

I get it, I fucking hate it when people use the spots illegally because "they're just quickly running in!" But don't go making assumptions about people's health based purely on outside appearances.

57 year old with cancer here. I had radiation a year ago and it breaks my heart to see young kids in there.

I’m so sorry.

I have a disabled parking permit too and am scared about when someone does this to me. It feels inevitable.

Parking permits aren’t simple or easy to get and there’s strict criteria. People need to fuck off.

This is the worst. I had a disabled permit for a while when I was in my early 20s for a non-visible condition. I did use a cane sometimes, but not always. The abuse was awful.

I hope your daughter's radiation went well and that she feels better soon.

as "i don't look disabled"

​

This is one of my biggest pet hates.

​

I have a permit myself, but you wouldn't imagine by merely looking at me that I am disabled. Big built bloke, middle aged but look a bit younger than my age.

​

and I cannot say how many times I heard that shite. It irritates the f*** out of me.

​

I have come with a bunch of pre-prepared responses, including:

​

"but you do not look like my doctor either"

​

"and you do not look like a dickhead despite being one"

​

"might be the time to get your eyesight checked mate"

​

"I wasn't aware the disability parking permit eligibility was by how you looked"

​

All with a snarky tone for sure.

There needs to be an advertising campaign to raise awareness and remove ignorance around disability parking as this is becoming all too common. People just think that the person had to be in a wheelchair otherwise they can't use it. People with disabilities already face enough without this kind of abuse.

We get this a fair bit. Our daughter is in a wheelchair with muscular dystrophy, we drive around in an obvious disability van with a ramp at the back and wheelchair stickers all over it and people still have a crack!

You just can't help stupid...

A dear old friend of mine who's passed now had to use a wheelchair but thankfully had a car trigger up so he could use hand levers as pedals. He didn't encounter many assholes as his disability wasn't as invisible as some people's, but when he did he went scorched earth on them every time. One of my favourites was when he went to the shopping centre only to find the single disability spot was already taken, and no other spots were wide enough for him to use his car. No big deal, he just sat and waited behind the parked car a few minutes until the owner came out.

A few minutes was actually twenty minutes, and the guy comes out and gives a little apology wave and says to my mate "hey bud, sorry was just grabbing a coffee and the paper". Now old mate was willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and maybe he was disabled, so he says next time make sure your permit is on display cause the council can be pretty hard about that kinda stuff. Guy says back "oh no permit, but you know how is mate" and hops in his car. Not the answer my friend was looking for. So he grabs his book and just sits there reading. Guy starts up his car... and my friend doesn't move. Just sits there, double parked to block this guy in and reading his book. Entitled car guy starts to lose his sheepish apologetic looks and gets a little antsy, but my old mate isn't budging. Eventually the guy gets out and says "look mate I'm sorry, I was only a few minutes, you can have the park now" but my man isn't having any of it. He says "I get it man, all good. But you can park anywhere else, I can't. I patiently waited for you instead of calling the council like I absolutely could have. You can wait patiently for me too. You're welcome to call the cops and we'll let them handle the situation if you'd prefer?" All he got back was an angry silence. So my mate does what he does best, sits around and reads a book relishing in the embarassed anger this asshole is having. Bang on twenty minutes he puts his book down, backs his car up a few meters and gives a friendly wave on to the guy in the other car as he drives away 🤣

When I was younger I applied for a temporary disability pass as I had shattered my leg. I was left alone when I got out of my car with crutches, had a side eye when I only had one crutch. But by the time my physio said I should try to walk to uni without crutches I was stopped in the train station car park by a bunch of parking officers. They literally drove past me and saw me walking out without a crutch or anything, their car reversed and stopped in front of me.

They asked me really aggressively "why are you parking there? You're not meant to be there!" I walk back to my car. Grab the ID, show them my license and they had the gall to say "you shouldn't park there in the future"

Dickheads, I'm still recovering from a broken leg, I get tired from walking too long. What the actual fuck.

The same thing happens on public transport when busybodies berate disabled people for not standing up for them to sit down in the disabled/pensioner seats. My friend has an artificial lower leg but otherwise looks fit and healthy. He told me about the time a middle aged women came up to him and started yelling about him being a disgusting person for sitting in the seat near the door where she wanted to sit (there were plenty of other seats available). My mate said "Oh, I am so sorry. Just wait a second and I'll move for you." He then leant down, lifted his trouser leg and reattached his prosthesis that she didn't notice resting against the seat (he often removes it while seated because his leg stump gets a bit sore every now and again). He said she had a sheepish look on his face as he moved to a nearby seat, but she never apologised. I wish I had been there as I would have cracked up.

I almost went over to say something once to somebody once when I was like 16 doing trolleys at the supermarket. They had no pass. Then they got a clearly mobility impaired child out of the back.

Lesson learned. Not your business.

So according to that lady, only people who can’t walk are disabled? She’s a fucking idiot and I sure hope she felt like one after that

My sister drops her jeans and shows the world the full extent of her visable injuries, huge chunks of missing flesh and bone deep scars while loudly talking about the hundreds of surgeries it took to keep her legs. Most of the elderly disability police slink away in shame and no small amount of horror while she asks if she's crippled enough for them. I admire that about her.

the irony is there are plenty of old people out there that don't really need them, but have a word in the doctor's ear to get one.

My mother is one. She has a bit of a bung hip. but not so bad she doesn't hesitate to walk the dog every day. Long walk too.

but she has a parking permit so she doesn't have to walk too far at the shops.

And she's not alone.

It's a horrible, sad reality that this is something those of us with a visible disability can be thankful for - at least we can avoid these jerks. I used to hate using the spaces when my disabilities weren't visible, as I had a few really uncomfortable run ins, including a vehicle being damaged by an older man who felt it was his right as I "obviously wasn't disabled".

I hope you and your daughter are OK and her treatment is going well. Nobody needs this, least of all someone already carrying a burden heavier than a parent should ever have to bare or a sick child.

if you have a disability park permit, then you park in the space.

if you don't, then get out.

But don't police the permits. That's just rude.

Maybe help some disabled people by helping to get some milk that's always stored the furthest possible point from the registers at Colesworth.

I really hate ables so much sometimes. They do shit like this but do they actually help us? Do they advocate for better welfare for us? Or for the government to let us be in relationships while on welfare?

No.

Do they speak up against mistreatment from the police? To stop the normalization of “mercy killings” (murder)?

No.

But go and harass strangers because they don’t fit your gross stereotype of disabled people. They actually don’t give a fuck, they just wanna feel big and important and have an excuse to have a go at someone.

I had to walk up stairs at work this morning to the rear of a big crowd of coworkers (a couple hundred)

I was born with club feet and going upstairs is… unnatural for me. So I make a bit more noise than a normie

I got stared at by about 30 people and got pissed off from being quietly judged

And the kicker was the meeting was about mental health

I could’ve bitterly laughed my guts out at all the token bs

As someone with a permit with an invisible disability I always scared of people like her. Like today my pain is a 5 just cause I slept in an awkward position.

But it also pisses me the hell off when people without a permit park in disabled parking spots. Mind you I’ve had days where I’ve forgotten to display my permit because I’ve just been having a bad day - it happens.

Here's a fun idea if you see some asshole berating a disabled person like this:

Either jump in at the time and tell the prick to shove off, orrrrr...

If they have it handled, like OP, approach the asshole afterwards and just go "Damn, that's embarrassing. I'd hate to be you right now, making a fool of myself in front of all these people because I decided to be an asshole about a subject I know nothing about. I'd probably die of shame, that's so embarrassing. I bet you wish you'd minded your business, huh?"

I’m very explicit in my response. I have the sticker. The government and my GP have confirmed I’m entitled to it and I don’t need to share my personal medical information with you. Get the fuck out of my face or I’ll call the police for harassment.

Someone I know who is similar to me (relatively young, not a visible disability eg wheel chair) basically says the first part of my response then points at her in built GPS and tells them they are on camera being recorded as harassing a person with a disability and the footage will be shared with police. Lol.

Hell is other people

As much as I don't condone violence, I feel people like this need a slap in the cheek.

I have had a similar experience years ago.. I am a disabled veteran and my friend lent me his new car whilst on holiday. I pull up and park in a disabled and display my sticker. A parking nazi then proceeds to tell me it’s a crime to use a disabled sticker that’s for someone else I replied it’s mine and he then continues to tell me it can’t be mine as I was young and it was a nice car ! After 5 odd minutes I actually dropped my pants and showed him all the scars on my leg.. he just walked away still saying the sticker couldn’t have been mine 🤔

When my ex wife had major spine surgery she got shouted at for taking a disabled spot while she recovered. Appearances matter a whole lot more to people than reality. She got told there's no way a tall blond woman could be disabled. Wish they saw the scsr along her whole back or the mobility scooter she needed for anything other than a two minute walk for the better part of a year.

It's always cunts over 60 who are more mobile than you are too

My husband gets this experience all the time in his work as a carer. It’s so frustrating

Happened to a friend of mine when he and his fiancé were in their 20s in the 00s. He was parking in the disabled park and got a lot of verbal abuse because of it. Poor fiancé had some serious cancer but didn’t look too affected if you saw her. Whilst I’ve lost contact with them, him telling me that taught me to mind my own business and never to judge

What a dick :(
I hope you're daughter is getting better and this incident didn't upset her :(

Not that I do it often at all, but I found it far better to take the approach of "Hey mate, your placard must have fallen down" rather than assuming anyone parked in a spot without one is pulling a swifty.

It'll either embarrass a piss-taker into leaving or admitting they shouldn't be there, or it actually helps a legitimate user avoid issues (especially in council parking areas where it's policed vaguely). It also doesn't impose any sort of judgement at the end of the day.

She still thinks you are in the wrong because you the driver are not disabled. I have come across many people with that attitude.

>i unfolded the wheelchair, put her in and walked away

​

good for you. what did you do with your daughter though.

I assume if a person has parked in a disabled carpark, they probably wish they didn’t need to and I move along with my day.

Fuck off ya demented old cunt is exactly the words I use... I'm a pwd by the way and experience this regularly

That’s horrible. Tbh the most drama I have with judgement is over 50s it’s fkn disgusting. They wonder why we throw them in homes and walk away.

Some people won’t understand the fact that not all disabilities are visible…I swear there are idiots out there that have to see an amputee before they feel it’s valid for the person to park there.

I’m sorry you had to deal with a horrible person.

I have a friend with an invisible disability and she is absolutely entitled to have one of those permits. However, she's too afraid to because of these arsegimps. I'm so sorry this happened to you and your daughter. I wish her all the best in her recovery.

I have an invisible disability and the palpable judgement from strangers when I use the disabled toilets is ridiculous! Society has such a long way to go when it comes to ableism

The letter you get from ACROD when they send you your permit has a section that urges users to understand that not all people with permits are old and/or look disabled…and to not judge. I guess she failed to read that part!

I’d say back ‘you don’t look a like a dickhead at first glance, but obviously I’ve been proven wrong. ‘

Hope your daughter is doing OK. Stuff people like that old hag.

“Fuck off you old cunt” would’ve also worked.

When I am feeling ok, I don’t use my disability parking permit. But there are days when I am so grateful that I can. To look at me, especially in winter, you can’t notice any disability and I’ve had a few dirty looks and comments. Most of the time I just ignore or say not every disability can be seen. But once I had had a shitty day. In pain. Parked in disability spot, clearly displaying my disability parking permit. Old lady actually starts recording me on her phone saying she’s sick of people like me parking where I shouldn’t park. She’s going to call the police blah blah. I unattached my prosthetic leg and threw it at her. Followed closely by my prosthetic arm. Wish I was recording her because the look on her face was priceless. And no she did not apologise. She walked off in a huff muttering about how rude I was.

Yep! Experience this at least once a week. My partner and I are in our late 20s. Im in a wheelchair and my partner drives a small hatchback. We usually park, and I sit in the car and wait for him to take my chair out. In that small amount of time people just assume neither of us is disabled and will come up and be like 'thats the disabled carpark'. My partner just looks at them and says, "I know." All the while staring at them and taking my wheelchair out the back. So many of them say sorry and awkwardly shuffle off. He's also a carer and has had this happen while he was out with his client too. Usually when people say 'you dont look disabled,' my partner always replies with ' and what does a disabled person look like?'. They usually shut up really quickly. One time, even had a man park right behind us, blocking the one way street to get out of his car to reprimand us for taking the disabled spot. Its like ffs mind your own business, not all disabilities are visible, and not all of us are old people.

Disabled people's lives aren't made better by the disability police yelling at us (or even at non disabled people who parked in the wrong parking spot.)

The able people that park in those spots aren't going to change. Leave monitoring that to the authorities who's job it is.

Some of these people are mad. A woman screamed "I hope you're disabled" at me while I was still parking the car. Sticker on the windscreen and all. The car was still moving - how would she know anything? (I have a f-d leg, btw)

So: "I hope you are too: the sooner the better" (this is one of my proudest moments)

I find stories like this unbelievable

Not in the sense it didn’t happen but I can’t believe people are so bored, hateful or lives are so empty they would take the time to yell at someone in a disabled spot

So fucking rude.

OP, You handled that brilliantly. You are a class act. Hope the treatment goes well for your little girl. And take care of yourself.

check the permit not the person. simple

I am sorry your daughter and your family are going through this. Hope you lose the permit sooner rather than later.

​

P.S.: before I get downvoted I meant the daughter heals so he doesn't need the permit.

I've been fronted three times, with different levels of anger and abuse.

1. I don't look disabled? You don't look stupid so I guess we both learned something today. Now get out of the way so I can get my walker out of the car.
2. What does disabled look like? Should I wear a big ass sign so it's easy for you to stick you nose in where it's not wanted?
3. I don't have the time, patience or small enough words to explain this whole thing to you. Go call the police and waste their time if you like, but leave me alone.

Yeah, I'm a bit of a smart ass but this is one issue that really pisses me off. I can deal with it, but I have young relatives that have been abused and didn't cope well so it really bugs me.

I work as a carer, some of the looks you get are so rude. Blessings on you and your little one. I hope the treatments work wonders xxx

When my mum went through chemo she couldn’t walk a couple of hundred metres without needing to stop so her GP arranged a permit for her. She never lost her hair, never had any outward signs. One day she got followed around the shopping centre by a lady who took photos of her.

I had a man make a comment as i was hopping INTO my car as i just put my disabled brother into the passenger seat and the rude cunt scoffed and said “ppfft you sure look disabled dont cha!” (With his about 7 year old son with him also so he can see how he treats women)

I smiled and popped my head out and” said my little brother is actually yes”

HE SCOFFED AGAIN and went “oh yeah is he even with ya”

I literally glared at him and was like “yeah because im his carer thanks for your concern boss”

And slammed my door

OUR LIVES ARE HARD ENOUGH, DONT POLICE US

sorry you went through the same type of negativity because jesus we go through enough

Yep my 6 year old has a disability and we have a parking permit for her.

I love the looks as I bounce out my, but then open the boot and get her equipment out!

You're clearly a better person than I am, I would've snapped and yelled at her to fck off.

Having a hidden, not-apparent, invisible illness is absolutely the worst in society.

The people privileged with good health throughout their life are often the worst offenders with their inability to comprehend other peoples struggles outside novel representations they've absorbed in media.

People should just check for a valid permit and move on. No need to scrutinise further.

"Mind your own business cunt" also very acceptable in the circumstances. Don't even show her that your daughter needs the permit - just tell them to fuck right off.

You don't have to justify your life to anyone.