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I like the part about having something to do to avoid getting stuck in bad habits like scrolling Youtube, I fall into that trap often. What tasks do you typically do to keep yourself occupied?
I HATE doing household stuff. So I force myself to do them straight away. My rule now is, if I can get something done in 5 minuter from when i notice it I need to do it right that moment.
Honestly it’s not 100% working, but it got my apartment a lot more tidy than before.
I tried an extension on my pc for YouTube to block recommended. That way I only looked at what I searched for and then turn it off. I don’t have that anymore but I felt that didn’t deal with my behavior, it only altered the outcome.
I make small rules that are for me only and I don’t usually share them. But when I made them myself it’s easier to follow, silly small things but I treat them like LAWS, at my computer I can drink and eat but the next time I use my computer I have to clean the area BEFORE I turn it on again. This helped me to train my brain to always wanting to have it clean, cus then there’s no wait time before I can play.
Long winded answer but that’s how I am 😅
I have similar things like if there are dishes in the sink I will wash which ever of those I need to use at the time before taking clean ones.
We now have a working dishwasher finally, but it is hard to break the habit since I have been doing it for probably like 15 years or more.
might be a little harsh
but going on long periods of not listening to any music, not consuming any sort of content at all
and trying to live without any escapism mechanism for a while
it will drain you but personally its helping me actually face the world instead of living in my bubble
everything at its own phase
Recently started going for walks with my phone turned off and it has made such a difference in my mental health, listening or watching content 24/7 is so over stimulating and draining
i forget i own a phone now
I would love to be in this place
I like this too, going on walks and runs without headphones helps me sort my head and forces me in a good way to deal with stuff.
But why is living in the bubble bad?
Being somewhat used to dealing with what is outside the bubble can be really helpful for the days when the bubble might not be available
Sounds very hard
So a fast/lent of sorts. Most religions have this in some form. I’m thinking of doing that. Do you also abstain from sexual stuff? Certain foods?
hi!! yes i was inspired by various religions mostly buddhism and the non-religion religion "a course in miracles"
also no, im an incel there is no need for that
and no, abstaining from food promotes anorexia, something I've dealt with in the past, im not going to reccomend doing that.
my original motives were to find my artistic voice and channel out some of the noise interfering with my craft
its easy to operate from a place of reduction when doing this, the mentality should be to force yourself to live with the noise and not so much playing the role of a ghost (separating yourself from society is another form of escapism) so don't go hikki.
if you feel like it could help you go for it!! you can commit as much as you want to
just stop if its hurting you, it is a big break in the routine.. something us aspies naturally want
Interesting! I really like the idea of replacing certain stimulations with something else. Apart from focusing on arts, what else do you do during this time?
Did you use to make art and stopped because of distractions or just want to get better or is it a new skill you want to hone?
With sexual stuff I also meant masturbation/porn.
Maintaining an unwavering consistency of the highest-quality attainable sleep habits.
I love my tea. I always make a nice lil moment out of it
Many of the same things that are good for all people. Get plenty of sleep, minimal sugar, daily exercise, minimize unhealthy stress as much as possible.
Timed schedule for getting through the day's requirements. Couple this with preparing some mental flexibility for when something inevitably goes off-track.
Nutrition and exorcise habbits. I Feel like shit if I go without it.
Drink plenty of water - as soon as you wake up, drink a glass of water and then carry around a water jug that you can sip throughout the day. Eat a balanced, nutritious diet.
Take up an exercise regimen; whether it be gym, sports, or recreational like cycling - be consistent and habituate it.
Take the time to sit outside with no distractions - don't pull out your phone, don't listen to music, just stare at nature and listen to it for 15-30 min.
Let yourself get bored because boredom is important for our mind - it clears your headspace and generates creativity and introspection, and resets your dopamine systems - too much distraction is rotting our brains.
This one will likely be the most difficult for people here, but make DEEP, MEANINGFUL relationships with people; even if its just one other person. We are a social species, whether you like it or not, and our physiology evolved to operate in a socially-oriented environment. We NEED eye-to-eye contact, we NEED physical touch, we NEED to be in proximity to people we trust - our mental health is dependent one these.
Lastly, make goals, whether it be professional or hobby - find something you can direct your energy to that gives you a reason to jump out of bed and prepare for the day.
I love the staying outside for 15 mins and just looking at nature, but I get distracted and anxious with people passing by. Did you get past this or do you live somewhere where you can be completely alone?
What in the neurotypical doodoo did I just read?! Babes you do realise Autistic people do NOT NEED eye to eye contact, it makes many of us super uncomfortable. I don’t even like doing it with my mom or my partner or my best friend, I would prefer to sit beside them to talk instead of in front. Feels like I’m giving too much to them that’s taxing on me, I’ve masked my whole life until 30 and I can tell you it didn’t help at all. Also why would you label cycling as recreational? Have you not seen the Lycra wearing dedicated sorts? Many ppl including myself use it as a main form of exercise and travel.
Say nice things to yourself many times every day. Good self talk is the foundation of a healthy mind.
Having a consistent bedtime routine that includes minimal sensory input for an hour before I try to sleep
I walk everyday and do a basic workout at home. It helps me focus and become more centred.
Making sure my feet touch the grass. I can feel myself being grounded.
Cooking and doing the dishes as I go. It's a meditation and helps keep me present.
Making my bed. It has helped me cultivate a sense of discipline and I'm less likely to fall into or onto my bed before bed time.
Going to bed and waking up at the same time everyday. This is a struggle, but it helps me maintain sleep hygiene which also helps me gauge how much energy I'm likely to have by the afternoon/evening for relaxation or socialising.
Making and having breakfast. It's a reminder that I love and care for myself. And eating breakfast reduces the likelihood of ordinary existence annoying me.
Quiet time. Everything is quiet, silent, peaceful. No screens, books, music, chatter, or other living beings. It's a souldeep deep breath and it's terribly centering. It also helps me release all the energies, interactions, and thoughts of the day.
Showering. Yes, hygiene, but also a moment alone to become and remain present. A reminder that I love myself, am enough and worthy.
Journalling. It's a good habit for me to have for the days where I need to do a brain dump. Other than that, it's quite entertaining, cathartic, and honestly, I can be pretty funny. It makes later communications easier.
I set my alarm to wake up around 8am and take my ADHD medication which is supposed to help me with executive functioning. I drink some water and a dissolved vitamin. A lot of times I feel like I can't stomach anything for breakfast or it will be something made of chocolate whether it's cereal or a cookie.
On the rare occasion it's sunny I will try to make myself go out into the garden for a while otherwise I try to make a habit of drawing a little bit everyday but I severely lack motivation to do anything.
I feel ya with the drawing. Lil tip btw, you absorb less vitamin on an empty stomach, if you can try to get something to work the digestion. My partner is similar to you and can’t stomach breakfast either, my hunger will wake me up though 😅
Thanks for the advice! Sometimes I wake up early really hungry but then it goes away if I ignore it. I think that might have something to do with not enough protein. Sometimes I just get a peanut butter Kitkat so I have something to eat but I know it's not the greatest.
Fasting , No carbs/Sugar/Alcohol
I started journaling. I feel like it's good for my mental health to reflect on the day and improve my writing skills and memory.
I try to cook at least once a day. I enjoy cooking and eating the food I make. Learning new recipes. Also I buy groceries almost every day. Walking. News. Just being in a snug, dark place with my phone browsing reddit or whatever I'm reading.
Things that have been good for me but I don't do them daily:
- Guided Meditation on youtube
- Journaling
- CBT decks.
- Reorganizing and cleaning space that I live in.
- Learning a new skill
- Trying to eat random things for nutrients like Vitamin k2, b12, iron.
- Talking to friends, going to meetups.
- Going through old pictures, random items I've collected
- Writing, art or whatever creative thing you enjoy
Drink plenty of water. No sweets or candy in the house.. No soda, no gluten, no diet drinks, no microwaves, no dairy, no soy/fillers.
Microwave one a lot of people question but the premise of having to cook is therapeutic. Even if it's just heating up water. It's not instant gratification. The rest is just because if I don't eat healthy I suffer.
No social media (except reddit?). If I click on 'shorts' on YouTube I delete YouTube for a couple days. Generally I think we're more prone to easy/comfortable so we keep clicking and wasting time. Plus I can actually like people when I don't actually know them well.
Working out when I can. I try to sleep well but that's always mixed. Sun exposure is a great one if you're feeling down. A lot of us are probably vit d deficient and don't even know it.
Physical exercise
I (49F) got a rowing machine and a bicycle, depending on the weather I do one of them. Rowing about 20 - 30 minutes. Cycling about 30 - 60 minutes. And I do some strength exercises.
I exercise physically 5 out of 7 days; the body needs some recovery time.
Mental exercise
Besides physical exercising I do some mental exercises, according to some buddist practices:
- Breathing in and out exercises (concentration)
- Mindfulness exercises (how do I feel/enjoying the moment)
- Reflection on my sensations and feelings (thoughs and behavior). Change my mindsets to decrease unhealthy clinging and expectations.
- Learning and developing ways to increase my wisdom and improve my wellbeing. (Become more peaceful, content, happy or in other words suffer as less as possible).
Eating habits
- I started r/intermittentfasting (16 hours fast) and my body is in less stress.
- I quit eating foods that cause inflammation in our body.
- I also counted my calories for a month to understand what I was eating. Big eye opener.
A shower to start the day. Also because I have ankylosing spondylitis
15 minutes of meditation a day, 30 minutes of affirmations a day, journaling, pep talks every day, breathing exercises, 24/7 monitoring of my emotions. Exhausting as it is, this is what I have to do if I want to be something resembling a functional human being. I've done it for a lot longer than the 66 days life coaches like to claim will transform you.
In my case it's meditation. It has helped me to better understand my emotions and avoid getting overtaken by my own feelings or lost in my own thoughts.
I bought a gym membership to force myself to work out and get the money’s worth. I also walk my dog. I also try to eat more chicken than McDonalds and pizza. I’m also trying to have veggie and fruit flavoured smoothies, though this is difficult for me.
Going to the gym regularly helps me manage stress levels tremendously! If something comes up where I can’t go for a few days I get easily overstimulated and irritable.
I have a very similar breakfast each day, morning and evening bathroom routine (sounds basic, but it took a lot of effort to implement). Recently I try going to bed at 22:00, but that’s not perfect yet.
Vitamin tablets, tumeric and black pepper every morning and Ginko Balboa once every two weeks.
Also, keep your salt sugar and hydration levels balanced.
AND EAT MORE FRUIT!
Atleast 1 plank a day
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These are the things I figured out about myself, got my diagnosis @30 and I’m now 45 this year.
I make sure i get enough sleep by going to bed earlier if I feel I need to. as early as 8pm if needed, i function best on 8+hours so that’s my aim.(I wake up between 6-7am, Also absolutely no caffeine after 3pm
I start my mornings with a walk or a jog/run before breakfast. When I started this I feel like I am more calm and can handle the days up and downs in a more linear way. During the exercise I plan my morning into sections and make a mental priority list otherwise I’ll end up in front of the tv or doomscrolling on Reddit/youtube and it sets a bad lazy mood for the whole day.
These are probably not specific to Asperger’s but I feel they help to get a decent routines around my day.
My breakfast is ALWAYS oats with diced apple or banana and cinnamon. Most days also 2 boiled eggs
Taking away decisions in the moment and making it into the sameish every day helps me get rid of bad choices like eating 10+ sandwiches for breakfast (not sure If Asperger’s or just my addictive personality)
I plan my lunch and dinner the day before so there’s no surprises and I plan ONE snack for the evening so I know I can have that if I really want to.
I’m a big gamer and used to spend countless Hours playing every day, now I set a time limit and plan something I’m doing when the time is up that way I have an easier time shutting down on time. I also have inner dialogue with myself about if I keep playing how will it make me feel tomorrow when I didn’t get enough sleep, That’s usually enough for me to shut down on time.
Tldr: planning helps me a lot and my mental state is influenced heavily by my physical activity.