vent abt etiquette

This is just a mild rant about etiquette in classes. A list of things, in no particular order, that folks at my various studios have done lately that bother me more than they should:

coming in late, no apology, joining in the middle of a barre combo
leaving the room during the break between barre and center and coming back after the first combination has been taught, making the teacher repeat the whole thing at warp speed
not wearing deodorant
as the teacher is saying "good job you guys, this is a hard variation", saying "oh it's not that hard, I've done much harder" (it would be one thing if this dancer was really good- it would be irritating still, but at least there would be the technique to back it up. This dancer is one of the worst in the room, but has been there the longest.)
as the teacher is giving a correction, a random dancer chiming in and joining the correction and saying "yeah, shouldn't it be more like X?" (especially if it's the same dancer as above.)
talking in class / trying to be buddy buddy with the teacher (wait till after?!)
loudly sharing anecdotes from when they were on pointe a while back and how much harder it is to do this exercise on flat, thereby justifying why they are not doing well and weird-flexing on the students in the room who have not done pointe and may not ever (especially if its the same dancer as above)
this is one I do unfortunately, sitting in a split during warmups when I go to a new studio to telegraph "hey I sort of know what I'm doing, I'm flexible enough for a split, I deserve to be here" and give me some sort of mental edge or confidence in an unknown space (but it probably comes across as the bendy girl doing all the bendy stuff to show off)

feel free to share your pet peeves / etiquette rants in the comments, this is helping me not be chilly to these people in person. I would never say anything, but it's affecting how I view them and I feel bad about that. Especially the one who's chatty who has been rlly rlly getting to me lately. She has a heart of gold, but the weird "coming from a superior position" in correcting the room /talking about pointe/harder variations MEANWHILE she is doing worse at the exercise than just abt everyone in the room is making me lose the plot.

in adultballetdancersby fairly_forgetful

89%

Tiny-firefly

The lack of spatial awareness really gets to me.

I don't ask for much but can you please not dance right into my path when 1. I physically weigh more even though we're the same height and will knock you over and 2. I'm literally kicking my leg out and will hurt you??

(general you to my classmates, not to you, OP)

fairly_forgetful

no this is real

mine is when a shorter dancer will set herself up to start the combo, in my personal space-like within a foot of me (bc that's where she wants to start the combo), and the floor is wide wide open beyond and beside her. It's like- ask me to move, or move. You don't just sidle into where I'm standing, and prepare. it's rude! and I am tall asf, girl i'm going to run you over

Tiny-firefly

Or when someone stands in front of you.... And when you scoot over to see yourself THEY MOVE TOO

day_old_rice

When a barre is being used on both sides and people don't know that proper etiquette is to stand so that your hands are back to back/pinky to pinky and not thumb to thumb and then you end up holding hands when you both go forward for a penche or the like

bbbliss

Oh wow I've never heard this one before but that's REALLY helpful.

day_old_rice

Happy to help! And if you are doing a soutenue to the other side right away both people will generally do a small step forward if needed to adjust and get your hands so that they are back to back again.

bbbliss

Noted, ty <3

gyrfalcon2718

u/day_old_rice, I’m not sure I’m picturing this correctly. A free-standing barre, with dancers on both sides, all with (say) their left hand on the barre, so the two sides are facing in opposite directions?

If that’s right, I don’t understand either pinky-to-pinky or thumb-to-thumb — wouldn’t all the dancers arrange themselves so there’s space between their hand and the hand of their two “neighbors” on the other side of the barre?

Can you say more on this? What am I missing?

fairly_forgetful

my teacher would say you should be shoulder to shoulder with the person on the opposite side of your barre- so your hands aren't at the same place as each other, but if you scooted them in to touch, what would touch would be pinkies. does that make sense?

day_old_rice

Yes! Hopefully, I can type this out well enough. This is for a free-standing barre that is big enough for say 2 dancers per side and with dancers on both sides and assuming everyone is starting with their left-hand on the barre.

The best way to maximize space is to imagine the barre length is split in half and the dancers stick to the space that is the center of their half. So there will be a dancer on either side of the barre in about the same spot as each other. To avoid having your hands touch, you want to stand so that the pinky of the person across from you is nearest your pinky since your hand will float forward most often when doing port de bras forward or penches. Should you do something that moves you backwards, usually dancers will lift their hands a little off the bar during the movement to allow hands to pass over/under each other.

If you try to stand so that you have an equal amount of space between all hands, you are going to split the barre into quarters which often results in the people who are nearest the ends of the barre travelling off of it should they need to step or glissade forward/backward, and also risk ramming your foot into the base of the barre which has happened to me quite a few times if I can't stand centered in my half.

Hope that makes sense!

gyrfalcon2718

u/fairly_forgetful and u/day_old_rice, thank you. Your descriptions were very clear and now I understand.

kaelaceleste

The mental image of holding hands during the penche is getting me hahah

vpsass

People who complain during class! It’s disrespectful to the other students and especially the teachers. If you don’t like the class then you can leave, or try an easier level. Don’t complain about the class being too hard or you being to tired it’s not polite. A little joke here and there is fine but some people come to class and then just continually complain it’s too hard and it’s just bad for the class vibes. I don’t understand how grown adults can be so unaware of how rude they’re being.

ResidentPossible7052

I feel bad about this one because I think people just don't know what they're doing, but standing in the corner when we're going across the room and refusing to go because you're scared!

fairly_forgetful

yeah especially if the first group has already gone. at some point you have to just go! Like make something up, none of my teachers would care if u do something random as long as u just move

ellendavis1

That's what I do, make up random stuff my level of dance allows haha

Squee01

Being really late. Someone was 42 minutes late recently.
Talking when the teachers talking.
People that stand in line for across the floor and then don’t go. Someone ends up going alone or worse no one goes. It’s okay to need more time to mark but go to the place in line you will be going or step out of line.
We have one person that goes across the floor 3-4 times per side rather than two. To the point her she will be the fourth person when there are only supposed to be three. It is disrespectful to your fellow dancers.

fairly_forgetful

that last one- its so subtle but when the teacher is like ok group 2 or anyone who wants to go again, and shes in every group, at the front. … let someone else shine…

bbbliss

Isn't the last one a normal thing in company classes etc as long as they're staying to the back and behind everyone else?

TemporaryCucumber353

I haaaaaaaaaaaaate the last one so much. I also hate it when people will do the combination as the teacher is explaining it, especially petit allegro combinations. Stay still and watch.

Olympias_Of_Epirus

If I stay still and watch and listen, I won't know a single step of the combination. I need to at least a bit move myself to have my muscles memorize it.

If I know the teacher will show it twice, then yes, I can just watch the first time around.

PopHappy6044

Crowding at the bar, during adagio, during across the floor.

Pleeeease maintain your space. Back off other dancers. Keep a bubble, stay in your window. Just be aware. I know this is a learning experience but always keep that in mind because you can ruin other people’s class with bad etiquette.

oldschoolpokemon

Look I have no issue with more advanced dancers taking beginner classes “to warm up”, but little comments like “oh you guys don’t do this? We do it in teacher’s class” really just make me feel like crap.
Like Tiger Balm is cool I own like a million jars of the stuff. But why you gotta tiger balm in class, DURING class?
Never helps to move the barres 😤
“Oh your knee hurts? * hands over their massage therapist/physio/osteo/reiki business card * I could help you with that!”

And because we gotta admit our faults: I’m guilty of being maybe too friendly with the teacher, we’re neighbors so we run into eachother outside of class and have bonded over loss in the past 3 years. I try to keep it for after. I makes jokes but I swear I try to limit myself. I think most of the people in my classes are mostly pleasant, most of the time. Everyone has good and bad days, but I find that once I start dancing I can forgive a lot of rude behavior because I’m in my happy place.

fairly_forgetful

I just remember another thing she did the other day- the teacher said don't look at the mirror / keep your arms open to second, and as my group is coming across the floor, this lady(not the teacher) says to the other girl in my group "ARMS! ARMS!"

like respectfully bestie plz stfu

lillypotters

When you're starting from the corner, and people are lining up from both sides of the corner, but nobody's following an actual order to go--every single time people stand there doing the "oh, you can go!" "no, you go!" and when they actually do decide who's going, it inevitably ends in a spatial disaster because everyone's scrambling right before their turn. My teacher finally started just telling everyone to line up on one specific side, but we're adults!! we should be able to figure this out!!

And similarly--when a teacher specifies how many people should go in a group, but people are hanging back because they don't want to go first, or they want to go in the back of a specific group, and you inevitably end up with too many people going at the same time and crashing into each other, or someone at the end completely by themselves. Again, we're adults! These are easy to follow instructions!!

MunchieMom

I'm so sorry but I judge the heck out of anyone doing #8. The palpable combination of both insecurity and showoff-iness is too much. Plus being flexible does not automatically mean you're a good dancer.

fairly_forgetful

ok! lol

gyrfalcon2718

u/fairly_forgetful, regarding your #8, when other students in my class do various bendy stretchy things, I don’t think of them as showing off. I just think “cool, I want to try that” or “wow, that’s neat” or “gee, if I do a little bit every day, maybe I can increase my flexibility too,” etc.

In general, you might want to think about which of these are physically affecting your experience (e.g. #3, no deodorant; or #2, teacher taking time to catch up the student who left), and which aren’t (e.g. #8, bendy girl when it’s not you ;-) ; or #4, student puffing themselves up).

Which category is #1, student arriving late, for you?

fairly_forgetful

I mean most of these aren't actually affecting my experience, it's more a mental "ugh that's irritating" that I'm venting abt here lol- no one class or dancer does ALL of this stuff, its just years worth of observations of tiny pet peeves.

Depends on the person arriving late, tbh! If they normally aren't late and they dash in and are clearly apologetic, it doesn't bother me. The one person I am thinking of is always late, and he takes his time, and to me its disrespectful to the class/teacher. I just wouldn't ever dream of being late habitually, idk. It doesn't affect my experience but it does make me give him a bit of a side eye.