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Slightly above it, eye line might’ve been a little too close to the camera. What do you think?
It was suuuuper close - honestly thought you were looking at the camera. Might want to try an inch or two to the left or right in future takes.
Definitely see where you’re coming from. Thanks for that tip! Other than the eyeline was there anything else?
Sound is not good, you need either a better mic or to speak louder. At the beginning there is a "I know? Right?" line which seems to imply your reader whoever you are speaking to laughed. If that's the case, you need to take that in before saying "I know! Right?" so it seems more like you are having a conversation and reacting. So other than sound, eyeline, and the note about reacting it seems solid to me.
Thanks so much! I did end up fixing the lighting and cutting out that frame so this is great and all things that can be fixed! Thanks again
Okay, just now reviewed -- are you a narrator talking to the audience? Essentially, it sounds and looks like you're doing what they do in the opening of Ferris Bueller.
If you're talking to the audience as a narrator, you did a great job!
If you're supposed to be talking to another character, I'd suggest thinking about how you speak with another character. Less "presentational" would be a good way to think about it.
Also, you whispered through the entire thing - is it intentional to be hiding your voice from others around you?
Some thoughts: Your eyeline is too close to the camera. The lighting isn’t flattering, it makes the scene look flat. If you don’t have a key light, I would suggest opening more blinds so that you’re bathed in a natural light, with supplemental lighting turned on as needed. (Edited to add, look up 3-point-lighting or lighting for self-tapes.) I’d recommend adding more body movement. You’re telling a story, a particularly juicy one, to your Frenemy. Your body should show you’re really into the details. Just think about when you‘re gossiping to your friends, and how excited you can be. He said what?! She’s dating who?! Use that as your inspiration. I like how your eyes are expressive and how you take your time with the piece.
Thanks so much! I filmed the piece on my camera and it looked a light brighter because I had a studio light, but for some reason reddit compresses the footage & it came out yellow toned.
Stop looking at the camera. I know it's hard, but there will almost never be a call for it unless there's a 4th wall break.
Definitely! Yea I was looking slightly above the camera but my eyeline was definitely too close. But other than that was there anything else?
You're very animated with your face, but the rest of you is very still.. I'd try gesturing a little more to make it feel pretty natural, but not too much otherwise it would seem forced. Other than that, it's great!
Gotcha, Thanks so much!!
I loved your facial expressions. It seemed like you were speaking very softly, but the scene didn’t call for that. Almost like there was someone else in the room you didn’t want to disturb haha
We all start somewhere - just some simple things I suggest to fix with filming.
Post-it notes work great for eye lines and put them on the sides right off your cell phone. Invest in a ring light off amazon - they don't cost much and will make your lighting much better. Also I can see part of a bed frame or something - I kept looking at it.
You have a great look!!!!!
The objective is not clear. Also, to whom are you speaking?
Also, my eyeline is slightly above the camera. Which I realize definitely should’ve been better to differentiate so it didn’t seem as if I was looking in the camera!
You're looking at the camera?