I 24F have always had an issue with comparing myself. I always told myself that it’s because “I want to know I’m doing better than those who hurt me” but lately I feel like it’s become a habit to check on these particular people. I’ve lost a few friends over the years and recently lost one who I still have to see everyday because we work together. In this time, I notice every once in a while I’ll check their socials see what’s happening in their lives.
In the beginning I thought it was just curiosity and trying to heal old wounds by saying “just checking to make sure I’m doing better than them” now I found myself getting upset when I check their socials and see them perfectly fine. Of course I never wanted them to have bad lives but I didn’t want them happier than me. I know that’s terrible but these people hurt me and it’s just not fair that they can go on being happy. Which again i know sounds awful. I have a great career, friends and relationship. Can anyone give advice on how to stop secretly obsessing over the past? How can I completely move on and heal from those who hurt me?