Trigger Warning - suicidal ideation
I thought we were on a good path. We finally finalized our divorce settlement and submitted the final settlement and divorce docs to court. My ex has finally woken up to reality and started to put effort into reconciling with our kids and going to group therapy sessions with them. He finally accepted that we were getting divorced although even now still wants reconciliation.
But I guess all was not as it seemed. His brother contacted me over the weekend saying my ex has them worried. To make a long story short, my ex seems to be in a……depression spiral? He is staying with my BIL while he house-hunts. BIL says ex is a mess and has most recently been having suicidal ideation. He asked for help.
I went over to see my ex at BIL’s home and indeed he is a mess. He apparently has even flaked out on work more recently. As soon as he saw me, he broke down sobbing. He just kept saying he is broken and doesn’t know what’s wrong with him and doesn’t know how to fix it. He kept apologizing to me. Kept saying pretty horrible things about “making it all stop”.
I told him that he needs to be strong. He needs to get help. I will help him get the help he needs. (sorry, I’m crying as I’m writing this). I told him the thoughts he is contemplating will destroy his parents, his kids and me. And if that is the one thing that will keep him from harming himself, then keep reminding himself of that.
My mil and fil have no idea about this right now, I think unless we put him in in-treatment we will try to keep it from them. They are already struggling badly with what he has done and the divorce.
I’ve been on the phone on a hunt for therapists and insurance all morning. I’ve was up all night scared of getting “that” call. And I have to act normal in front of my kids because this is something I don’t want them exposed to nor should they have this weight on their shoulders.
im not sure the purpose of this post other than to say all of this f-king sucks. All of it.
I just don’t see how going down the path WP’s go down is worth it in the end. I try to understand but it’s difficult.