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44(m) here. I was in a long term relationship living in her house. We broke up after covid and by that time I was priced out. Between interest rates, lack of availability, bidding wars and cash offers, and not having a down payment I’m screwed. The American dream is dead for a single income family unless you make well over six figures. So my 16yr old and I live in a tiny cramped apartment, where I pay more than my ex did for her mortgage. Happy days. It’s the biggest source of discontentment in my life.
46 here. Single income 2 boys. After divorce, went to school, make ok $ as a nurse 75k or so. Now that I finally got independent It’s not enough to even consider a house now. It’s just too much for my income. So is rent but I have to live somewhere. Even if I save 1k a month. I’ll be old by the time my credit and down payment are ready. It’s my biggest saddest thing for me accept.
I'm in a similar position and have pre approval for a 525k loan. Have a decent deposit to allow me and my daughter to find a house up to 630k but I can tell you now... I've done the math, and I will be house poor. At the moment, I have enough savings to feel comfortable that if I lost my job we would be ok ... have enough spare money to invest and keep saving and to do fun things with my girls. I don't worry about the bills because I can afford them. If I go ahead and buy a house that all ends. I have to worry about the mortgage, the rates, the insurance, and the repairs. I'll have no safety net, and fun times are over. I feel sick when I think about buying, particularly as I have to spend over half a million on a basic entry-level property. I feel sick knowing my bank account will go from healthy to nothing. I feel sick knowing if I can't keep up with the additional payments, which will more than double, then I risk losing the house anyway. When I think about continuing to rent I feel blessed that I can afford to rent us a home that is beautiful and would cost about 800/900k to buy. I feel blessed that I only have to pay rent.. I feel secure knowing I'm not trapped in a job because I'm a good saver and have resources to live on... I feel happy that I can just take my girls out or away and buy them nice things... I feel sick that we could be asked to vacate every year and that I have to put up with quarterly house inspections.. I worry about being homeless in both scenarios, whether I loan from a bank or rent from a landlord ... I worry about being 60s...70s..80s with rent, but then I remind myself that I'll have decent finances and children to live with or ill buy a van and park in a beach caravan park..
What I'm saying is.... don't stress about home ownership... just live and save and invest and be happy .. you will buy when it's right for you or you won't .