UPDATE: thank you all so much. With your words in my head, I packed up two of my three kids and went to the library between work meetings. They issued me a new card, helped me log in to the payment system, and I paid my fees. The librarian told me that if I wanted to, anyone in my household over the age of 5 - like say, the kid who lost the things in the first place - could get a card in their name and I wouldn’t have to pay the fees at all. I’m lucky enough to be financially secure enough to pay them in full, but the fact that she offered that to me as a solution made me see how overblown my anxiety had made the situation. The kids signed up for summer reading, asked the children’s librarian to help them choose books, and participated in the weekly scavenger hunt. They had a phenomenal time and I’m so glad I got over it. But I did tell them were not checking out games or puzzles until they can keep up with their things better. 😬

Hi. I’m in a pickle. I love libraries, and I hate confrontation, and I hate doing The Wrong Thing. I don’t know what to do here.

When we moved into our home 2 years ago, the first thing I did was take my kids to the library. They loved it. It’s just down the street, there’s a farmers market in front of it in the summer, it’s just lovely. My kid saw that they had these limited, kid-friendly tablets to take out and she begged to check one out. For a few weeks, we did good returning it! Then one week, I just couldn’t find it. So I skipped going that week to give me a chance to find it.

It has now been two years. I still don’t have that fucking tablet. I’ve hired housekeepers, the house has been deep-cleaned, I’ve emptied kid’s room and playroom out numerous times. It has fucking disappeared.

So. I tried to logon today to pay the fees. Y’all. I do not have my library card number saved so I cannot login online. I have to walk into the library and figure this out.

I am so anxious. I want to go in and just pay whatever the fee will be and be able to use the library again but I’m so afraid that they’ll just hate me. What do I do?