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my moms an ESFJ as well.. its terrible, shes so unbelievably stupid its infuriating. Still love her with all my heart though.
My boss is ESTJ. My sister is ESTJ. They are all very smart. Very competent, efficient and competitive too. In a way it is typical ESTJ. I often can’t stand them, but absolutely not because they are dumb or close minded. It is the details they want for advance planning and the demand for relentless efficiency and schedule discipline that drives me mad. I admire their intelligence, execution prowess, leadership and social skills, but there’s no doubt that there are personality clashes between us, and it’s a matter of style and preference, not right or wrong.
understandable, by smart do u mean generally smart, or school smart? cause for me theyre all school smart but complete dumbasses when it comes to common sense or problem solving skills
Smart means quick intelligence and shrewdness dealing with other people. My boss got a promotion last year, mainly as a recognition of her achievements over the years to tackle complex problems, by working with diverse teams to find solutions and obtain their buy-in’s. I worked with her on many projects and initiatives, and her ability to quickly identify bottlenecks and find effective solutions around them particularly impressed me. Even though I am not used to her style and approach, I fully support her promotion as I think she fully deserved it.
My sister is always the person who organises our family events and travels, because she is such a natural when it comes to navigating complex logistical challenges, satisfying everyone’s needs, arranging schedules and making all the bookings, and making contingency plans. And she have all the contacts that can make the events a success. We provide assistance whenever we can but we know we will never be as effective and as efficient. Yes indeed she was a top achiever back in school but she’s definitely a lot more than just school smart.
So in short they are generally smart, commonsensical and good at problem solving. It’s just that that their way of thinking and solving problems is different from mine. Not necessarily better or worse. Compared to how I would have done it, for the specific challenges they face their approach probably bring better results, given my tendency to procrastinate and lack of patience dealing with tiny complicated details.
My mom is ESFJ and I love her very much! Her intelligence is average, but she’s much more practical and great at socializing than me (obviously). I kinda envy her, even though her mind isn’t as “sharp” as mine and my dad’s (he’s somewhere in the IxTx area, I’m not sure).
ESTJ mom. Heavy Christian No outside on Sundays CLEAN YOUR SHIT UP Etc.
My mother is ISFJ and we get along very well, we both connect and cooperate and its good all around
My ESFJ sister on the other hand is the person thats close to me that hurt me and disappointed me the most, we dont get along and she refuses to let me do my thing in peace, she judges, she complains, she forces her view point and when you reciprocated her behavior she gets pissed and plays the victim card, too emotional is a pain to deal with
When I was younger, but as I matured, it became easier and easier talking to them as I matured,
With ESFJ :
Focus on being socially smooth and try to be kind, they'll easily forgive your social clumsiness if they see you try putting efforts
With ESTJ :
Be direct and efficient, show you know what you're doing, they actually respect your competency, don't think or overcomplicate social interactions,
Every type when healthy and balanced can be a pleasure to be around
My best friend is estj. Can’t stand him. Why is he my best friend? Because he has shown unwavering loyalty and honor to me as a friend which trumps “having good chemistry”. People are more than their personality type and if you can’t accept that you’ll be limiting your own growth as an individual.
im not AVOIDING them, i just cant speak to them, theyre not my type of person, nothing wrong with that.
There’s only 16 types. It’s not the gospel either. I’ve met INTPs I love and ones I hate. So why can’t this be possible with other types too? Stop analyzing people as groups and start analyzing them as individuals.
Nah, I like ESTJs. One of my favorite sensor types.
ESFJs are ok, but I find the Fe a bit too intense. I prefer ISFJs.
I generally don't have much in common with sensors though, but that doesn't mean I dislike them. I do prefer to hang out with intuitives.
Esfjs are incredibly difficult to get along with for me which isn’t surprising given how differently we process the world
Exactly us INTPS are solar opposites of ESFJS lol.
I can never understand why a lot of sites says ESTJ are out perfect romantic couples ESTJ are so fuckin annoying they love to micromanage every little work you do and they love to promote themselves they are humans made of pure unadulterated ego, if youre the boss of an ESTJ you're lucky but if they are your boss, im sorry for you
it is true lol.
My wife is ESFJ. It’s been difficult. We grew up together so we gotten used to each other’s personalities.
In the beginning of our marriage, we had lots of disagreements such as what do to on the weekends. She would want to meet friends while I was okay for a time but she would want to stay longer. After a few years, I started asserting myself and agreed to drive separate cars so I could leave early and let her stay.
To my knowledge, I’ve only met 2 ESFJ people, one in person and one online, they’re weirdly difficult to talk to, closed off, full of complaints, maybe I just found them both at weird times in their lives, I have no ill will towards either of them, I just assumed ESFJ would be large and in charge or at the very least open anything at all, but no, I haven’t met any like that yet.
ESTJ I know a couple and I can’t deal with their judgmental-ness, but I don’t find all of them to be closed minded or boring, they have good qualities too, that I’m sure they show to other people, one of the ones I know is racist, although they swear high and low that they’re not, but they are - just the one though.
But I’m neutral towards them. I’m sure I’m infuriating to them in some form or another as well.
I don't like them but I find them very useful in dressing with problems, execution and social engineering. They get things done and that with grace. They'll judge the shit out of your appearance which is very good to the typically unkempt and physically neglected INTP.
Still, I only use them, I don't keep them close. They're at the bottom of sensors for me.
How do you know any of these people are ESxJs?
The last guy i had a crush on is ESTJ. The one before that is ESFJ. Sooo.. no. If someone is stupid, it's not bc of their type.
I know an ESTJ and i really like her. We get along very well and understand each others very well. Great sense of humor.
ESTJ: Great work partner, when you just want to get things done without any bullshits, straight to the point people. Thier commitment to the “rule” is probably what stops me from pursuing any sort of relationships with them though I do admire them for that.
ESFJ: Great temporary buddy, unfortunately my outdated celebrity gossips were insufficient to maintain this relationship in the long run :(
I really like ESFJs, but I had to learn to due to the fact that I can’t like them in the way that I naturally want to like someone. By that I mean they don’t have the traits I’d gravitate towards naturally, but they had things I could learn to really like. I don’t want to speak on ESTJs because I don’t think I have an appropriate level of exposure.
I dislike Ni users much more. I’ve never been able to stand it.
ESxJ can be a very positive influence on the INTP if both parties are well balanced and are generally compatible in terms of fundamental values and willing to compromise.
ESTJs who are able to serve as an example of diligence and integrity can help INTPs apply their ideas and be more productive. A Te Dom that appreciates Ti analysis and insights, while helping to implement them shows the highest form of respect and appreciation. Potential conflicts arise when Te Dom becomes overly dogmatic and bossy, and Ti Dom becomes too impractical and suffers from analysis paralysis. When talking with Te Dom, it is better to get straight to the point, and cut down some of the extra layers of reasoning used to reach the conclusions, bullet points are potentially a great way of sharing information and thoughts with Te Dom.
ESFJs who are genuinely warm and accepting can make INTPs feel at ease, and they can accommodate inferior Fe by making social interactions feel more natural. They don't tend to like overly theoritical or abstract conversations, but since they have inferior Ti, they are potentially more receptive towards Ti reasoning than Te Doms, who just want you to "get to the point". With ESFJs, it is better to follow etiquettes and enjoy nicities without going too deep into the theoritical. Learn some basic social tactics such as learn to smile and to talk about trivial topics such as pets, the weather, or weekend plans; learning to enjoy those topics under a limited capacity could satisfy inferior Fe, and this could make you more balanced.
Im interested in your experience with them, care to share some situations that lead you to these observations?
of course! for starters the ones that ive dealt with arent intelligent in general aspects, for example: conversation with estj:
esfj talking loudly
intp: can you please be quiet.
estj: im not talking to you.
intp: it doesnt matter wether youre speaking to me or not, i still hear you and its annoying.
estj: why does it matter im not speaking to you.
intp: because i can still hear you.
estj: well than mind your own business.
intp: im trying to mind my business and you are distracting me.
estj: no im not.
another example is theyre extremely close minded, for example:
E: why are you always up so late? go to bed.
I: im more productive at night, i get more done when it is quiet.
E: staying up late isnt healthy, fix your sleep schedule.
I: some people are naturally night owls, it works for me.
E: that doesnt make it right! get sleep so you can have enough energy for the next day
I: I still get enough sleep, i just prefer to do my work when i feel most focused
E: i dont care, go to sleep.
I: ignoring what seems best for me seems counterproductive.
E: just go to bed, its not up to debate.
(this isnt about introverts and extroverts, i just didnt feel like typing the whole mbti name)
I see, and im purerly guessing now, youre upset at their lack of consideration for your choices/views? That makes these people (& their personality types) dumb?
no, close mindedness, its not lack of consideration, its lack of understanding what they are doing wrong. like when they said “im not bothering you” as if they knew what was going on inside thejr head, its unintelligent, also there are other factors, only two mere experiences wouldnt bring me to this conclusion lol. also read my last sentence to this post
I see, and how do you make the correlation to ESTJ? Do you know these people from these scenarios well and typed them? How are the other factors playing into that?
If youre asking about my experience with ESTJ its very hit or miss. I either vibe with them and we make awesome plans, direct emotionally mature communication or we dont vibe and I take offence to everything they say to me lol
I have bad experiences with estjs..they really do have a closed mindset.. I myself got myself mentally isolated bcs of that estj😑..i Don't know how it worked for others..i really Don't hate People without reasons or Don't easily get worked up about People. But estj!! Every Time i have hard time with estj.. Its just there mentality that i can't stand
I have an ESFJ sister. While I’ve had problems with her in the past as many do w their siblings, she is very wonderful. Logically, she’s not quite there in comparison to me, but when it comes to academics she’s 100x better. She is an overachiever to a healthy extent. This girl works two jobs and just finished her time volunteering at a hospital. Her Fe is glowing and it is really is admirable to me. Mind you, all of this while maintaining good grades in advanced classes for Junior year.
I am in the military and a Cpl of mine is an ESTJ. Same case but instead he wields that dominant Te like a weapon. Constant verification and arguing non stop. It doesn’t bother me much though because he gets the job done. I only ever get annoyed when his arguing very clearly leads to nothing. He is also extremely intelligent but seemingly has a learning disability (dyslexia).
I’ve known more in the past but these are the first that come to mind. Very wonderful people with just amazing skill application in the real-world.
What I suggest to you, is using MBTI for what it is meant for. A tool to help yourself develop, to learn about those around you and ultimately help those around you. I know it can be frustrating to do so but you quite literally have Fe sitting there in your stack just waiting to be used. Use it.
I was married to an ESFJ. Nightmare.
ESF(T)J:
You: I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk, I hate the way that you dress
Love the ESFJ. Tolerate the ESTJ.
This is the way.
I find them to be people who I either like or don’t like as I do with all individuals regardless of personality type. Y’all starting to sound like them astrology people. Don’t make your personality your whole personality if ya know what I mean.
theres a huge diffrence here, astrology is made up bullshit, mbti is quite literally an examination of a personals PERSONALITY traits, so yes, as people were not going to like how some peoples personalities are.
I agree to an extent but I get along with everyone who’s not an ass for no reason regardless of personality type. I personally refuse to use my personality type or another persons to excuse my own lack of patience/kindness, or the other person lack of such things. This, in turn, allows me to get along with everyone because I’m not caught up on what 4 or 5 letters define them apart from their name.
oh i see, thats very interesting, i hope i can achieve that one day!
It took a lot of patience and growing over several years. I wish you the best in getting to that point my friend.
I was with an ESFJ for years unfortunately the stupidest mofo I’ve ever been with. Only reason I stayed so long was because of divorce/financial issues and every year he grew more boring and stupider. Then had the audacity to turn around and call me boring.
I also have hard times dealing with those ppl. I think the problem is their S. Like one of my INTJ friend said, S stands for shallow and stupid 🙄
I find you very judgmental, my fellow perceiver
nope, is intps are just observant, just because most of the ones ive met are stupid does not mean im judging them. its just an observation
If you actually believe that, maybe they aren't the shallow ones
its just an observation. theyre obviously not all the same lmao.
i was thinking the same thing lol, i cannot be friends with an s type, they are all so close minded. theyre only school smart.
“I cannot be friends with an s type, they are all so close minded”. Umm sir, that’s like the most close minded statement someone can make LOL.
“They’re Only school smart”. Coming from Ti dom? WOW That’s hilarious 😆
nah, u read it wrong, i said i cant be friends with an s type, like i physically cant, we dont get along, nothin wrong with that.
Use MBTI what it was meant for. Ts isn’t astrology.
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Me dad's an ESTJ and mom's an ESFJ.
The lack of privacy is infuriating. I'm not very close to them emotionally, but that's probably the mommy and daddy issues speaking.