Forever Alone, Together!

It's been a few years since our last post about the sub and the rules, and we have amended some rules and added some new ones.

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In regards to advice/support

If you're someone who isn't FA but decided to come here to try and offer support and advice, then think about what you are actually going to say. If the first thing you suggest to someone without any knowledge of their life is that they should go to the gym and buy new clothes, you're assuming that they are unfit and dress terrible. Don't assume, actually put some thought into the advice you give.

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Now, onto the rules.

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Rule 1: Be polite, friendly and welcoming.

Self-explanatory. Don't be a dick.

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Rule 2: No Gatekeeping. Do not tell anyone they are not forever alone enough to be here.

This one people seem to have issue with, so I will explain in more depth.

ForeverAlone is something you identify as - everyone has their own definition. Some people think you need to be a certain age, some people think if you have even had one kiss, you can't be here, and some people think that if you have a single friend, you aren't ForeverAlone. If we removed every comment that people deemed was from someone not ForeverAlone enough, there would be no comments.

We will not remove posts or comments from people because they had one date, relationship or sex years ago. We will however remove posts from people who have relationships frequently who are claiming to still have issues - there are better subreddits for them. This does not apply to people who are just commenting to offer help/support. We will also remove posts where someone has just had a breakup and decided they will post here. There are other subreddits for that.

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Rule 3: No inflammatory comments

This one should be pretty obvious but it's one of our most broken rules. You cannot generalise a group of people, regardless of their gender/race/religion/sexual orientation. Posts like "women have life on easy mode" will be met with a permanent ban.

The most common thing that breaks this rule is stuff like "women can't be FA", although this breaks rule 4 as well, as only incels have this mentality.

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Rule 4: No incel speak or references

This isn't an incel subreddit, despite the fact that incels think that they can post here because their own subreddits keep getting banned. Any incel content, including any type of pill talk will also result in a permanent ban.

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Rule 5: No linking to other subreddits or personal blogs

No linking to other subreddits because this just leads to either people coming here and brigading us, or users here brigading the other subreddit. Posts containing links to other sites or YouTube videos will be manually looked at.

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Rule 6: No trolling

Self-explanatory.

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Rule 7: No creating drama

Insulting/calling out other users or subreddits will be removed. We also don't need people telling us "the mods should do this and ban this and change this rule". If we listened to what the community said, this place would have become an incel subreddit and have been banned by now.

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Rule 8: Do not post your dick

Believe it or not, it does happen, it just gets filtered before anyone sees it. This applies to nudes in general. Anyone trying to sell any type of adult content will also be banned.

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Rule 9: No selfies/rate me threads

What tends to happen is this - someone uploads a picture knowing they are attractive and are fishing for compliments, or someone posts a "im so ugly" picture and argues with everyone who says they aren't, so these posts aren't allowed. There are other subs if you want to be rated.

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Rule 10: No suicide/violent threads

Any sort of post encouraging acts of violence or suicide will be removed. It is fine to talk about if you feel suicidal, however, we will remove those who threaten their own suicide, whether it be now or "I will kill myself when I am 30".

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Rule 11: No posts or comments promoting the belief that looks are the only thing that matter

This one has become a problem recently so we are making it a new rule. It is fine if you want to complain about being ugly, and how it can impact your chances at dating. It is not fine to claim such things like "looks are the only thing that matters" and "personality is meaningless". Not only is this untrue, but it also tends to attract incels and NiceGuys and the whole post just becomes overwhelmingly negative and people believing that if you are attractive, you can get any date you want, even if you are a bad person.

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Rule 12: No dating/posts comments.

We aren't a dating subreddit. Use r/ForeverAloneDating or another dating subreddit for that.

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Obviously, all site wide Reddit rules apply as well. If you see any rule breaking posts or comments, then use the report function, they will be looked at. Also, mods have the right to remove posts/comments we deem problematic, even if they don't fit in the above rules.

The answer is probably not that complicated so this can double as a mini rant. Why is it whenever a person shares their experience some fool comes in and says "no you're wrong, get good scrub"?

Like when a guy says he's being rejected because of height, some tool comes in and says "I'm short and get plenty of bitches, you aren't charming enough". Or when a person voices displeasure at their situation they say "it's because you're so negative, just go to gym, go on dating apps, be more charming, take showers". Or if someone says their race is holding them back, they say "my friend is your race and he's a player, you just arent charming enough". Or when someone calls themselves ugly another fool comes in with the "my buddy is ugly but he's had 10 girlfriends. You just aren't charming enough or your standards are too high". You get the point.

My answer is because they don't care, want to feel superior, possibly believe their words actually help the person, virtue signalling, boost their ego.

Maybe it's just as simple as hating you for not experiencing something everyone else has. Why else would mainstream fools come to places like this just to argue with people?

So ontop of the pile of being s complete and total ugly piece of trash, idiot, worthless person. I am now also, unemployed!!! Woooo!!!! Yeahhh!!! Another fuck up in my life of fuck ups.

I finally broke after being yelled at by my boss and i couldnt take it anymore. I got emotional and i quit. Once again proving how much of a idiot i am because me AND my mom, who needs my financial support, can not afford for me to be out of work.

Honestly im starting to wonder why i havent run infront of a logging truck or took a long walk off a short pier. Im totally useless.

24 years old. 5''4. Never even touched a female. Degenerate loner and quiet all my life with severe social anxiety all my life. Any time one female interacts with me I become obsessed. I cant even drive, and never had any real friends. I've been sheltered all my life. I am also severely mentally ill and autistic with severe confidence issues. I have failed at everything I've ever tried on life, military, etc I'm currently trying to disassociate with society, telling myself I don't need a life or work, or friends or pretty much anything. I tell myself I will be a hermit with no desires for human interaction. Or attraction to females. However, I tried to quit my masturbation addiction in defiance of my attraction to females but only lasted 36 hours. I am the closest you'll be to suicidal without actually killing yourself as I am a pussy too scared of death and even killing myself. I am currently coping with alcohol. I am about as sure as you can be that I will be forever alone.

It seems incredible to me that for a relationship the following general conditions must be met: 1- Meet the right person. 2- That BOTH people like each other. 3- You have similar tastes, hobbies, interests or objectives. 4- Both agree to spend their lives together. They seem like such specific coincidences to me and even people are capable of forging relationships out of nothing. It seems incredible and impossible to have a relationship in my case, but people enter and leave relationships as if nothing had happened. How do you know each other and like each other so easily? I know it's not haci in all cases, but I believe that for a healthy relationship, the process is haci.

I don't want kids. Ever. That's the biggest dealbreaker of dealbreakers. And I can't do dogs. I've had dogs and I know what dogs are like and they ain't for me. And I'm not one of those "omg he doesn't like dogs but see him with my dog omg he loves dogs now" kinda guys that you see posted online quite a bit. I've heard the line "My dog is different from other dogs" and no. No they aren't. Cats, spiders, octopuses, snakes etc. All cool.

Add to this that I plan on starting a life for myself pretty soon singing on cruise ships, as a guest entertainer, hopefully perpetually and I don't even see the point of starting a relationship. Normal jobs are just boring. 9-5 and 4 weeks paid leave. 4 weeks is fuck all time to travel. I mean finding a female partner who doesn't want kids and dogs is hard enough but add the constant traveling. People say I might meet someone on the cruise ships one day... possibly.

And yes don't even get me started on my username with finding a partner.

I've been lurking on this sub for a couple of months. I can relate to the people here a lot. Just like most of the guys here, I'm a complete KHV. Legit I've never had a girl even touch me before, no hugs, no kisses, sex is something unfathomable. Tbh I've never received a proper compliment from a woman before either.

I went to an all-boys school so I sucked with women from my teenagehood. When I was 17, I was a complete blabbering idiot in front of the opposite sex, if someone had a vagina, I turned tail and ran for the hills, didn't matter if I found them attractive or not. Around this time, peers started to laugh at me and make fun of me for my lack of intimacy and experience. I was mocked for my appearance by some asshole friends who ruined my self-confidence. At uni, the same shit happened except now I could at least socialise with girls normally. Still, I feel invisible to them.

Everywhere I go, there are couples or hot girls who I feel like I have no chance with. I did try to ask out a girl at the end of uni who I thought showed interest in me but she completely shut me down very embarrassingly. I have no game with girls and on top of that I also blame my height of 5'5 which I feel extremely insecure about. Lately, I've just been feeling torn, even crying myself to sleep about this. If I couldn't find someone while I was a student without any responsibilities, how will I find someone as a working adult who has other commitments?

At this point, I feel like a complete loser, I'm totally fucked. My heart aches sometimes, maybe some of you have felt this too. Whenever I look for assurance, I come across BS normie advice which just makes me more frustrated and ashamed. On top of that, I have so much resentment for the people who made fun of my plight and tried to laugh at my romantic failures. They make me feel like I'm not a proper man. One girl this year kept mocking me in particular and tried to emasculate me numerous times.

Btw, I did self-improvement, I literally hit the gym pretty hard and got in good shape, I did skincare and haircare, I started to dress way better and massively upgraded my social skills. That stuff did nothing and it's pointless because I see average blokes walking around who look like slobs. You don't need to be some well-off, fit, super confident guy with interesting hobbies or some shit like normies make it seem. I've even seen guys who are pricks with no personality get girls. I just don't understand anymore. I don't mean to sound bitter but I can just feel my soul slipping away bit by bit slowly. I'm genuinely in a lot of turmoil and defeated these days.

When you're a guy, it's basically a race against time. Thinking you will end up alone with a loveless, bleak future is plain terrifying.

How long ago was it? How old were you? How long did it last? What’s your gender?

If not, how old are you and what’s your gender?

I've been a weird broken person since childhood, when I was a kid I kept thinking that I would become normal at some point in my life but by college it finally sunk in I would always be this way. Is it worth living out another 40-50 years lonely? It's only going to get worse as my few friends get busier with their own families. I'm trying to find other aspirations to live for, things within my control but I don't know if it's enough to carry me forward.

I knew this was gonna happen sooner or later... was in the car with her and she started asking why I don't have friends and when I'm gonna start making friends.

I didn't want to tell her the truth (that I don't have the desire the socialize because everyone treats me like shit), and I just told her what I usually tell her, "soon"

I know if I tell her the truth she's gonna be devastated, so all I can do is come up with an excuse why I can't makes friends or find a gf

I have been there… I get it… you want to feel something, You want to have someone, you want to love and be loved,

You want someone to finally come along and brighten up your lonely and miserable existence…

But nobody is coming to save you… There is no light at the end of the tunnel…

You cannot rely on a dream that will never be.

It’s a tough pill to swallow… But once you do. You will finally be able to crawl out from the hole you’re in.

Love is weakness, Hope is weakness, Sex is weakness…

Are you really gonna spend your whole life waiting for someone to touch you…

And when you finally meet “the one” you’ll be spiraling out of control cuz you can never have her…

Ever since I gave up on women I have exponentially increased my worth as a man.

My confidence went up (cuz I no longer care), My skills went up (cuz I focused on a career) My muscles developed (cuz I became a gym rat) And my heart hardened (cuz only the toughest survive)

Don’t waste your life… Achieve what you want as a man.

Man up, toughen up. This is your life. Not anyone else’s.

I should just move to some village where I won't get reminded of my loneliness every 30 minutes. I can't take seeing this anymore. It makes me feel jealeous and like a lesser human being.

For some people out there finding a partner is as easy as breathing, while I put in infinite effort for nothing. Is it too much to ask for a single person on this entire planet loving me?

I'm at a small festival and all of the sudden my friends start talking about all the people they banged and i hate myself.

Being autistic is a nightmare and i hate myself. I know i shouldnt get offended and it's just a difference that i have no controle of but i hate it and i hate myself.

I hate them for being successful and hate myself for being unsuccesfull.

For what seems forever I dreamed that one day I’d get to a place where everything really had been for a reason. I’d come out of this stronger. But it never happened and it never will happen.

All the things I missed out on - the parties, the fun, the dancing, the kissing, the sex, the memories. They’ll never be mine. The time has passed. And I was okay with it in the moments because I always thought that better times lied ahead somewhere. If I could just hold on.

I held on. And for what? To be told I’m too old for youthful fun and recklessness? To be told it’s not all that great? That im in my 30s and need to forget about all of that? All of the things that help you to become a well adjusted adult?

All of that agony, the nights alone crying, writing in mental torment. It means nothing. Nobody would care. Nobody would help me make up for all of the lost time. And that’s all my life has been. Lost time. Sitting on the sidelines afraid to get on the field. And the rare times I tried to get on? I was forced back off and onto the bench, into the locker room, into the parking lot.

There can be a romanticism to depression or loneliness if you only touch their shores briefly. But when you have been take out deep by them, flailing for years as everyone is enjoying the beach, there’s not the slightest charm in that. Hoping to die on your sleep every night, waking up miserable that you didn’t, for years at a time. Your youth, long passed. Get over it they’ll say. Grow up.

But I can’t grow up without skipping the important steps to get their in a healthy manner. The steps that perhaps unhealthy. Learning to be a person, myself, exploring. No. There’s no consolation. No solace. I was robbed of so much that life could offer. Immeasurably important things And I’m supposed to just shrug it off.

The redemption is eternally fleeting

I feel like I am a robot, the perfect subject. The people around me praise me for being a good worker, or friend, etc., being a close resemblance to the culturally defined ideal good person. Everyone who knows me speaks of me in the highest terms of endearment.

And I am completely miserable and alone. I am so good at following orders, charming people, and appearing inoffensive, upstanding, and pure. I think this is because all my life I have sought validation and reinforcement for being the model student, friend, neighbor, etc. But that has a killer flip side to the coin.

Boring.

I feel like the main experience of a person on this sub is one of torturous mediocrity. Wake up. Go to work. Workout at the gym. Eat. Watch Netflix. Sleep. Go on a date on the weekend and get rejected or ghosted over text. Meetup with friends for a movie or for a dinner ever few weeks, Etc. The process is torture in its repetitiveness and mediocrity and it can cause severe depression and anxiety - primarily rooted from an impending sense of doom where you believe that you will be alone forever (hence forever-alone). And for those who have no friends and aren't able to date, it's even worse and my heart goes out to you. Please keep trying and putting yourself out there because you do deserve love.

However, I wanted to say something very unusual. I DREAM of this experience! I DREAM of being a normal person! Just by being neurotypical (when you have a normal brain that isn't autistic) basic social conformity shouldn't be a major issue for you. Your brain literally involuntarily guides you through conversation with sub-conscious non-verbal language and everything. It's like blinking and breathing -> you don't really think about it it just happens. This is not how an autistic person like myself works. We have to consciously perform in every social interaction without any involuntary guidance from our sub-conscious, making it extremely difficult to form friendships and to maintain employment. (in fact over 80% of college graduate autistics are UNEMPLOYED!!!!). Just for clarity, this autistic experience is COMPLETELY different to the experience of a socially underdeveloped, nerdy shy, introverted NT person. Yes initially when these people put themselves out there they will struggle and make mistakes. But due to the insane emotional intelligence abilities of the NT brain, all they have to do is just put themselves out there and in time they will catch up with everyone and be just as capable socially as the norm. An autistic that does this will only continually be harassed and bullied.

Some of the bullshit I experience as an autistic includes: approaching new coworkers and trying to develop a rapport only for them to smile at each other and talk shit behind my back, trying to hit on girls at bars but getting brutally rejected and sometimes outright getting some women mad at me, not being able to properly flirt with women over text either with me getting blocked by like 4 in the past 3 months (I don't have any pics on my profile or pfp on instagram so they don't even know what I look like yet this still happens to me which is why my texting game is awful), getting bullied by my 'friends' from high school for being "slow" and "weird", getting bullied by my old coworkers for being weird, creepy and childish (I HATE the childish insult. Every time someone calls me childish I want to strangle their Johnson), not being invited to parties or other places by my 'friends', not being able to talk like an adult and getting treated like a child and infantilised, insane levels of stuttering, either doing too much eye contact or not enough, omfg the list is endless basically. And no, practice does not make these issues go away, my brain is literally designed to show this behaviour due to improper synaptic pruning.

I met this guy when I first started university. I don't wanna get doxxed so imma call him Brad. He was just like sitting by himself in our computer science class which was all filled with men so I decided to sit next to him. The way he dressed himself made him look like a hot actor trying to play a nerdy character in a movie (e.g. Chris Hemsworth in the ghost busters movie). Imagine Alain Delon but 6'3 and blonde. We become friends, do some group assignments together, sometimes go and have subway with this other dude in our class it was a nice. I leaned that he lived close by me and I was like bro take off the glasses and wear something more like casual and sexy the girls would love it and we went to this bar close by our town. Bruh. Man does not have to try at all and every single girl that lays an eye on him at least tries to signal him to talk to her. A few hit on him, get his number its so easy. He doesn't have to do anything. And worst of all, I noticed that behaviour he was showing. Improper eye contact. Huge amounts of stuttering. Extremely monotonous voice.

We were playing Fortnite a few weeks later and I told him I was autistic. There was like a minute silence after he said "oh damn" and then he told me as my dumb*ss character died to fall damage that "I also got diagnosed with Aspergers when I was 4".

It was in this moment I realised how insanely sh*t our society is and how important looks are. This man gets to have a bunch of actual loving friends (men and women) that he posts on his instagram every f*cking day and an amazing office job on a startup gaming company's junior developer team that pays BANK on top of the most f*cking beautiful woman ive ever seen in my life (dm me if you want to see what she looks like coz f*ck me ive fallen in love with her and I can't stop thinking about her every time I meet her) DESPITE BEING LITERALLY DIAGNOSED AS AUTISTIC??????????

SO what are my statistics? 5'5 in height. Indian. Unemployed. Only a few friends who really just feel sorry for me. Balding at 20. Autistic. Lol it's like the four horsemen of being indian, autistic, short and ugly and broke on top of that. But Im not going to blame anyone for it. I blame myself for stressing myself out. in fact, realising how insanely f*cked I am has given me this weird confidence where I know im going to fail anyways what the point in being afraid of trying??? HAHHAHAHAHHAHA

I was really excited to meet up with this girl who I knew from college a few years back, went out on a date, and we had lots in common. Unfortunately, she ghosted me after and didn't give out specific reasons. A year goes by, and I still can't figure out why

I'm trying my best to meet up with other women, but it's getting hard. Feels so hopeless 😔 ☹️

Currently on a journey to cure myself. Not there yet, but I've seen some things. I was so scared and so doomer about my prospects, our prospects, but its absolutely not as bad as I thought.

30+ ugly fat guy with physical deformities, nearly zero life experience of any kind. But guess what there's women on dating apps who will match with me. And they aren't worthless people to be ashamed of; not conventionally attractive, but they have attractive features, and various different interests and personalities and vibes, running the full gambit of typical women. A lot of them have "fallen behind" life milestones just like me; sometimes the same milestones, sometimes different ones. A lot of them have weird quirks that range from very annoying to absolutely adorable.

Dating gets better. First date I went on I didn't know what to say and I was only there because we matched. Now I'm experiencing 2 insane feelings. One is beginning to faintly feel some genuine anticipation and fun over the screaming tempest of nervousness and self-consciousness as I prepare/drive to a date. And two is the bizarre new feeling of being choosy, of rejecting/unmatching women I don't think are the right vibe. It's like I'm tasting some forbidden fruit I never ever imagined I'd taste; literally too many girls blowing up my phone so I have to thin them out. Thin them from 2 down to 1, but technically that's what's happening. And dates are improving. Conversation is easier, and I think I'm starting to understand a tiny bit about flirting. Again it's like the faint whisper of fun is now just barely making itself heard now over the shrieking nervousness and over-analysis.

I also, and I'm not sure this is even a good thing, I need to keep it subtle until the right time and right place, but I'm sitting at table with a girl, or leaning in together while she shows me something on her phone, and I just .......go half-mast or more. Realize a living breathing woman dressed up and did her makeup to impress me and now we are hanging out at ease with each other, and I guess it gets my heart pounding and blood flowing. Restricting porn and masturbation is surely helping with this.

Anyway its great. I feel so alive. I hope this isnt a toxic flex. I have never had a girlfriend or had sex with anyone I didn't pay. So I feel like I still have my FA cred.

Hi everyone, i am an 18 year old femboy with a very feminine figure apparently, but i wasnt always like this, i was a normal straight dude once but shyness was an inate quality of mine

Like i am so shy that when i got out of the bath i used to cover my upper body and my nipples too, just something about it being uncovered gave me chills, now when i was in bible camp, a friend of mine who recently started lifting saw this

He used to make fun on how i wrap a towel like a woman, now he was kind of my friend in middle school before growing into a bully so i didn't stop him much which destroyed me

Things just got more and more heated up whenever we would meet at church he would bully me, talk about how i have got curvy hips like a woman, about how i was shy like one, weak like one

It just so happened that i had a crush, now she i had liked her for a while now, a girl of beauty, but you know the struggle of guys

We never tell what we want, i also never told her i loved her, apparently this piece of human shit knew this and took her on a date just to spite me, made out with her and even sent me pics

Broke me down effectively, one day after school he told me, he knows i am stressed and a loser with no girl, how no girl would love me

This made me cry then and there, i know thats pathetic, but what happened next destroyed me

He slowly opened my shirt i was crying, i tried to stop him but he smacked me in the face, we were in a secluded part of the park so there were no cameras or people

He started massaging and slightly pinching my nipples, he told me, i am not a man because these nipples are so full, so suckable, so pink, so fragile

In that moment he understood how to destroy my masculinity and he did exactly that, he tore me apart by massaging a straight guy's nipples

He told me this is good but i need to get on my knees now, about how he wants to do what he has always wanted

And at that moment i resisted and tried to run away but he just wouldnt let me, he caught me beat me up and got me on my knees

That was the first time i saw his manhood so bigger than mine, just there, the thing that took my crush from me, it made me hate it so much that i started working the shaft

And i dont want to get too graphic here you can ask me for details in my DMss if you want but it ended with me crying and sucking him off there

Thats how it started and he destroyed and humiliated me, i have been forced to do more things that destroy my mental health as a straight man

I sometimes wish to end it all but i cant even myster the courage for that, maybe someday i guess

I've occasionally tried to talk to people online, but a lot of them want to "hang out" on voice call or video. This is just not something I'm comfortable with - what would we even do? I'm not much of a gamer. I hate my voice, and conversation comes much more easily when I have time to type and think. Would we just keep the mic on as we watch different shows? Sounds kinda lame tbh.

I'm just talking about friends, but if I can't even do that then there's no way I'll be able to form a relationship digitally. Feels like I shouldn't even bother to try.

What were the reasons you never asked anyone out and do you think you ever will?

I can say I never did for these reasons: Asperger’s

Below average physical appearance (combine the two…..not good)

Fears (rejection, awkwardness, etc) controlling me

Severe lack of motivation and initiative to change.

No mutual attraction with any woman.

Never really learned/taught social skills during critical times.

No hobbies that required me to meet other people.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever ask anybody out. I have developed this mindset of wanting something that doesn’t exist and will never exist either.

I would love to hear others on here who never did so either and what their reasons were. This post is geared towards men but women are welcome to comment as well.

Back when id get bullied in HS id have fantasies of standing up and beating people to death bc I knew they were talking abt me. They always say the usual hurtful/painful stuff, it made me feel ugly and unwanted for years (I still feel that way).

When you look like me, ppl get a free pass at making you want to end yourself and years later they act like they barely know js how much damage they’ve done, and it really js makes me want to commit very violent acts on them. Stuff that will leave them scared to go out in public with their face for life.

I continuously have very violent outbursts of anger, and sometimes I break part of a wall, I don’t know what to do. I’m always constantly ignored when I talk, I ve began to think I have autism but that’s besides the point.

This anger is translating to random happy couples, I feel something is seriously wrong with me

A friend of mine stayed with me for 5 days. He's actually a very nice guy, but unfortunately he had to constantly talk every day about how many hot women he'd seen again, when he'd written to which woman on which dating app, which women had hit on him and when he'd last had sex in which place.

And just imagine: He hasn't had sex for a whole two months and urgently needs to catch up. 😱 For him, two months is really a lot...

He asked me if I wanted to go partying with him at a night club next week. I'll probably say no because I'm absolutely sure he'll pick up a woman there. And whenever that happens, I just feel even shittier.

I was 18

There truly is no hope.

All women who are normal, with good scenes of humor, smart, funny, and relatively attractive dont want to be with me. Im literally disqualified for them.

If some of them do want to be th me, there is a reason why they do. Its because nobody else wants them for being usually too unattractive. And I Get the irony, nobody wants me as well, and I feel bad for those women as well, but finding someone im attracted to is literally impossible.