She apparently passed away a month ago, but I've been steering clear of anything Christian for years now. I just thought of her recently and found out she passed away. I used to listen to her during my last "Christian phase." That phase was my last deep dive into Christianity before moving into deconstructing a few years later. I was already sick of the "fire and brimstone" parts of Christianity, so I loved her more encouraging and grace focused music. I loved her voice and I also related to her story about depression, questioning God, mental health issues, and body image.
I always found the music to be one of the hardest parts to leave from the religion. Sometimes the tunes are stuck in your head at a random time, sometimes they offered encouragement during a pivotal time and brings back memories. Mandisa's music was both of those for me, even though I haven't listened to her in years. It's hard to process when you thought you left those parts of you behind a lifetime ago but then the news or music pulls you back; even for a moment. I guess what I'm just not really sure how to go about processing it, what parts of my past to take with me.