A voice in your head says to you, I'll give you any class from the dnd that you want. Which one will you take and why
5th EditionMost people would hear that voice and go Cleric.
Those people would also see Prestidigitation and say "ooohhhh Divine Intervention"
I mean depending on your perspective it could be either I guess lol
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😳🤔😁
druid cuz animals, plants and magic are cool
Go to desert areas and bring back vegetation. High enough level, change whole weather patterns.
nah i dont wanna help people I just wanna turn into a walrus and knock on the doors of tumblr users
Nimona energy right there.
I was thinking more that Spiderman meme of "But I don't wanna cure cancer, I want to turn people in dinosaurs!"
"Why do you do this? You can change the very ecosystem at your fingertips!"
"But I don't want to help the ecosystem! I want to turn into a walrus and knock on the doors of Tumblr users!"
You’re so fucking real
thanks dog i try my best
Oh Ambien walrus, you joker you.
Might destroy a few ecosystems tho
Aye, but you just blame that on... Warlocks tampering with powers they don't understand?
Probably not. A Druid would most likely only try to fix problems caused by man, not destroy natural ecosystems just because a different area has too many people.
If dnd druids existed in modern society they would probably be the newer interpretation of poison ivy, an ecoterrorist bent on destroying man and making the whole world green again.
How about only the ones that were created due to deforestation caused by man? Otherwise you are arbitrarily destroying natural biomes needlessly and I don't think druids would do that.
Wildshape would be really cool
I never pick druid in DnD, but IRL I think it'd be pretty cool! I live in the countryside so I'd have plenty potential friends to make. "Hey Mr. Badger, how's life?"
I've been playing druid for so long in dnd. By far my favorite class. Some very useful spell casting and minor healing and Wild Shape, fly like an eagle, run like a wolf or stag.
Druid because Timeless Body
Not to mention, if you're strong enough, your aging slows to 1/10th speed
Assuming you dont get to level up in the real world.
Paladin
Even at level 1 your real world applications would be great.
Lay on Hands is amazing, you can cure diseases, poisons or just straight up heal.
Divine Sense would at least be interesting, and perhaps terrifying.
And you would have proficiency in all armour and weapons. So you would automatically know how to use every weapon and armor in the world, which would atleast have a certain benefit.
Are we talking contemporary arms and armor? BC I'm envisioning a badass Machine Gun Priest arch right now.
"Oh you got shot and are bleeding out from a sucking chest wound? Let me just lays on hands There all done. Now get to da choppah"
Depends on the DM, but artificers definitively get firearm proficiency
Yea I mean an Iron Man arc wouldn't be too bad either. But machine gun priest...think about it
Then immediately give the finger to the voice, to break my Oath, and let the armies of the undead begin purging the world to bring peace, freedom, justice, and security to my New Empire.
YOUR new empire?
Especially with immunity to disease. Yes please.
Might as well go warlock when the voice is offering power. Seems suitable.
Agreed, it's fitting. Regardless of the spell list, just the eldritch invocations would be incredibly useful IRL
devil sight: can see through darkness, fog, perfect vision
ghostly gaze: can see through walls
eyes of the rune keeper: can read anything, even ancient script that hasn't been deciphered yet
tomb of levistus: basically survive any physical trauma
and my personal favorite, gaze of two minds: experience anything for free, your friend goes to a concert/sports event/trip you can't afford, or you just don't want the fuss and stay at home? "hey man, do you mind if I piggy-back your brain?"
Technically Devil's Sight doesn't help with fog, because it only works with darkness. Not with actual particles blocking or hindering your view.
Ghostly gaze should then
Ehh. The reason fog disrupts your vision isn’t because you can’t see “through” it. It’s just water, after all, which is transparent. You can’t see through fog because light hits all the individual droplets and gets scattered. All the light from the other side of the fog is still reaching your eyes; it’s just that it’s refracted into random directions that make it impossible for your brain to parse
Edit: puppies are not a type of cloud
Well yeah, nobody can see through a dog.
Is fog solid tho? I mean, i would allow it.
In dnd, fog is usually a heavily obscured area. It's a physical obstruction, unlike darkness or magical darkness.
Edit: I think I replied to the wrong person
All I wanna know is, does it help with myopia?
I must not be allowed to possess the power of an Eldritch Blast… Absolute power corrupts absolutely, I would absolutely welcome absolute corruption….
Cyclist runs a red at a pedestrian crossing? Eldritch Blast…
Someone cuts in line at the ATM? Eldritch Blast…
Someone walking slowly in the underground, weaving side to side as I try to pass? Oh, you’d better believe it’s Eldritch Blast…
In the space of a few years, the entire world will either be better, or will be decimated…
I mean, that's not very different than shooting people... you'd just be arrested or killed
“oh officer im not sure what happened, it looked like he was hit with a lightning bolt or something, as you can tell his wounds are nothing a normal person could produce nor do i have a weapon on or near me.”
"Subject was still arrested on account of multiple witnesses at the scene who said he threw or launched something at the victim. Deputy Chief Williams said: 'Video from traffic surveillance cameras confirms the suspect throwing something at the victim, who then collapses. We don't know what it was, but it clearly led to the victim's death.' Police continues to investigate"
You might get out of it once from the sheer confusion, but there's zero chance you could go on a killing spree like suggested and walk free. Unless you're rich, maybe.
There are enough old laws still on the books that blasting someone with magic might well be illegal.
miserable murder skills tbh, git gud before you talk to me again
Not if I used my Mask of Many Faces invocation to look like a completely different person.
Now we're talking
Unless you're caught on camera let them try and prove you eldritch blasted someone, and even if they have video all you have to say is "magic isn't real, that video is AI edited" and most people will believe you
That would maybe work once or twice. Good luck convincing the judge/jury that there is a conspiracy to frame you of being a serial killing wizard after the third or higher person is seen dropping dead in front of you from a mysterious energy blast that seemingly came from your hand.
Also most cctv security cameras are encrypted and watermarked in ways that make them virtually impossible to edit without being easily detected, so good luck arguing that the conspiracy photoshopped that eldritch blast if you are recorded on one.
Why use eb when you can do the same with a yo mama joke through vicious mockery.
Make it a Repelling Blast for extra fun.
I mean humans would have a 7/10 chance of being straight up unalived when you hit them. Repelling seems like overkill
That's the extra fun part I mentioned.
Personally, I'd be using a Repelling Eldritch Spear for long range fun times.
Every once in a while I see a car do something particularly dangerous on the road and I feel a strong urge to blast their tire in retaliation. This would make that possible and should not be given to me in the slightest.
Cast it at weddings, funerals, parties, or if someone takes too long shopping.
Bridezilla/Doomgroom being a disgrace to their friends and family? Eldritch Blast…
Disrespect at a funeral rather than just not attending? Eldritch Blast…
Being obnoxiously loud and/or aggressive in what should be a chill and fun environment? Eldritch Blast…
Aimless wandering and/or blocking of aisles while others are trying to be efficient? 100% Eldritch Blast…
Bard is probably the most practical in real life by far, social skills are probably the most important thing in pretty much everything.
This. Access to useful utility spells for daily life and the tools to talk people into anything. I'd gring my way to lvl 20 and be finagling politicians into doing the right thing in no time.
U need the base charisma to pick the class….
Only if you're multiclassing!
Still your spell DC and charisma won’t improve…. Proficiency can’t help you that much
During my last job interview, the boss—who I knew plays D&D because of some other comment he made—asked if I was good with people. I said “Let’s just say I main bards.” His response? “Say no more.”
Been working here since November. (I didn’t mention the fact that I’m pretty equally bard and rogue, lol.)
"Say no more."
Locks the cash drawer, hides the safe, and puts up multiple signs about the store's sexual harassment policy.
what your boss didn't tell you is that he was just impressed you had the confidence to have sex with a dragon.
People often overlook that metallics (and occasional others, but it dropped down to mostly them in 5e) can shapeshift into humanoid form. ;)
That’s what i thought at first, but hear me out.
What’s the cheat code of social interactions ? Cats.
If you are a cat, everybody likes you. In case of emergency, be a dog. You are late to work ? Be a bird. You feel uncomfortable at a party ? Get out stealthily while transformed as a spider.
Druid is the actual best class.
Transforms into giant spider mid party, everyone screams and flees
Task Failed Successfully
Counterpoint: go Cleric or Artificer. The only spell you'd need IRL is Guidance. Instant 5-20% additional absolute likelihood of success for anything you attempt for the rest of your life adds up.
You only get a class, tho, your stats dont change. My charisma is probably around 7...
Jack of all Trades is nothing to sneeze at. Being mildly better at everything you're not already good at seems like a no-brainer to me.
Moon druid. 100%
Awkward social situation? - turn into a cat. Want food? - turn into a cat. Want attention? - turn into a cat. Want to be left alone? - turn into a cat. Want to go places you'd never usually be able to get to? - turn into a cat. Want to not go places and just curl up in front of a fire? - turn into a cat.
Maybe I just wanna be a cat...
Everybody wants to be a cat
Because a cat's the only cat, who knows where it's at
Ok. Cross class druid/bard and I'll recreate that scene from the Aristocats
That song is an absolute jam... Until the super racist part.
Edit: About 1:40 in, piano part, Siamese cat.
Artificer: The ability to create magical robots! Who wouldn't want that?
And Mending as a first cantrip
I’m glad someone else here likes the idea of magical invention! All these other nerds are so BORING.
Plus infinite ammo!
Sorcerer hands down; Access to some of the best spells without having to study non-existent tomes (Which is why Wizard would be comparatively awful). Even stuck with just the simplest low-level spells is a game changer. Every other class requires SOME effort. Barbarian, fighter, and rogue all are just like, regular people that trained for a role, so just having that 'class' means nothing if you don't undergo some form of physical training. That and needing gear to really make the most out of class features. Bards need to be able to perform to access some of their abilities, which are also generally less impressive than other spell casters. Druids, Clerics, Monks and Paladins all have to have some form of faith or discipline to maintain their magical abilities. Ranger isn't too bad, but has the same trappings as the druids and martials, if to a lesser degree. And then of course Warlock requires a pact. Sorcerer is like, the objectively best class when taken out of context and slapped into real world application.
Yea, I'd add Aberrant Mind Sorcerer would be the best, because of its access to detect thoughts, to do telepathy, fly, teleport, telekinesis, and even summon a creature to serve you.
I think divine soul would be pretty strong as well. Healing spells would be really useful, and depending on what you define as a saving throw favored by the gods would be amazing
Oh shit, yea, divine soul is way better. Lesser Restoration to remove any disease is huge.
I think devine soul would be better because imagine just never being sick again or being able to cure literally any disease with a touch.
Sorcerer would be cool even tho I personally like druid more because wildshape is available really early
never says you ever get a level up
Sure it does! You get all the features of the class, don't you? OP never said otherwise. Gaining XP and leveling are part of the class. The limitation is after you gain enough levels that you run out of enemies that you can get XP for defeating. Then you have to survive on story goal XP.
Considering everyone has plenty of challenges in their lives to overcome, story goal XP should come pretty naturally.
As a counter in favor of the bard, while performance is a part of their spellcasting, it’s not exactly the most difficult thing to do (especially since it can be any kind of performance, not just singing or playing an instrument, merely being a good storyteller can be enough to be a bard). And the tradeoff is bard skills are more practical for everyday life (especially the social skills). And they have access to literally every. Spell. In Existence (both via their magical secrets that lets them learn 1-2 spells from anywhere (2 for lore bard) and via the wish spell ) and again a lot of their normal spells are also really useful and practical for day to day life (especially access to healing magic / social magics. With Cure Wounds and the various restoration spells you could literally become the greatest doctor on earth and seriously make bank).
Whereas sorcery has its downsides (dependent on your subclass you’ve got some negative traits, your magic might not work always, or it could just turn you into a potted plant). And it’s features are a little less practical in our mundane world where 99% of the time you’ll be working a regular 9-5 job, not out on adventures exploring dungeons and slaying dragons.
I think for real life, any class that gives you mage hand, prestidigitation, and mending would be the most useful class.
This is the right answer but you've missed the most important reason: subtle spell. If you go around obviously casting magic in the real world, your life is going to get complicated fast.
Genie Warlock
Extradimensional space, invocations, levitation, limited wish
Yeah you can just hang in your lamp when you need timeout for yourself. In cushions no less
Now we're talking.
This is top two easily
Bard. They’re the only class with access to literally every spell in dnd, with powers that can both alter reality itself AND have really useful day to day applications, AND to top it off are not beholden to some other entity to gain/maintain/grow their power. Heck, you don’t even have to be able to sing/play an instrument to be a bard as storytellers, skalds, etc are all called out as examples in the Phb.
Wizard (either enchantment, divination, or conjuration school). The ability to have a large amount of spells at my hands, and being able to either magically charm people, see how the day is going to be (so I can avoid bad stuff) and help find anything missing, or else be able to save on travel fees and time.
you won't be able to learn new spells though, no spell scrolls
According to Xanathar's Guide to Everything, scribing a spell scroll has a small chance to accidentally produce a different spell due to an error in your notation. This chance increases the longer the spell scroll takes to make. In theory if you dare and endlessly wrote spell scrolls, you'd eventually learn all the other spells by accidentally producing them and then learning them from the defective scroll.
so real
I wonder how many people died discovering fireball before someone could record the spell.
With my luck i'd chose wizard and be one of the former.
You still get 2 spells per level
So what? RAW you seem to "discover" new spells the more powerful you get in your book and you can decide on which ones. 44 spells by the time you are finished not counting cantrips. Sounds good to me as you can switch out the spells you need every night.
Transmutation has a lot of nice features for irl
Portent alone is a massive game changer.
I wonder how it works in real life. But man going gambling could be crazy
Divine soul sorcerer with subtle spell.
If I can't be specific, cleric.
I'm picking Paladin. Built-in ability to cure people's diseases and injuries, I could help so many people.
Cleric, it’s not even close. Why would I not want spells to talk to and then receive power from God? Healing, thaumaturgy, raising the dead? It’s just too good of a kit to pass up.
Had to go so far to see someone mention Clerics and I'm just sitting here like "definitive proof God is real??" and "hey the last guy who could raise the dead and heal people with a touch got pretty damn famous"
Imagine the brain fuck if God spoke like the fairy guide from Zelda, was Alf, or like bitemits levels of annoying...
Or you just get dial tone and the reason everything is so shit is the pilot went to take a shit and took a cosmic nap on the pot
I'll take... My schizophrenia medication.
Ok
Just kidding. Artificer, I think it would be fun to piss off real scientists by making shit that shouldn't work but does.
I'd be the bard dad with the dad bod. Zippy and quick 1 line dad jokes tripping off spells with seduction.... heck yeah. "My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard. Personally, I’m on the fence."
Ok that was a 2 liner....
Draconic ancestry Sorcerer
born into magical abilities that just sorta comes to you
Cool ass, functional dragon wings
Definetly a Monk with the Ascendant Dragon monastic tradition! More speed, i always have useful elements for everyday useage on hand, slow fall is useful, Quickened Healing for better healing prowess, Stillness of Mind for a cool head. I would also be immune to any disease and poison, being able to understand any language in the world and they understand me, i don't need food or water to survive, have no frailty of age, become invisible for a short time, have astral projection, i can fly for a bit and it's overall just a really cool class 👍🏻
Was curious how far I'd need to scroll for monk. Basically everything you said, plus if I can catch arrows, I can probably catch a ball, so with that speed and agility, I could easily be a pro Wide Receiver or something. Good luck tackling me. Failing that, could always run roughshod through the UFC or boxing, though I'm afraid of accidentally killing someone.
Speaking of, that's another reason to pick monk. All the casters have too much power. One bad bit of road rage, and I might accidentally kill someone.
I see you are a Monk friend as well, you make good points 👍🏻
As someone who is suffering at the hands of crappy genetics, I would love the stability of body and mind that comes from the class. As it is, I am not making it to old age. As it is, I don't really want to make it to old age.
Druid, easily. Now I can turn into a giant wolf spider whenever I sneak downstairs for that +7 stealth.
Asssuming 20th level, I can basically go anywhere I want at no cost.
I mean if you really want, cast pass without trace before wild shape and now you’ve got a +17 stealth you are the wind
Clearly an Elder Brain is telepatically taliking ro me, trying to lure me into its colony. So I'll refuse, thanks.
How else are you going to become an Aberrant Mind Sorcerer than getting tadpoled then the poor thing dies because of all the microplastics in your body?
wouldnt be the first time the voices in my head have told me that
Artificer. I could create a bunch of useful stuff, build up a company that provides that stuff, perhaps make myself immortal using machines so I could just do this forever (or for however long I want to do this).
Like... I could create mechanical body parts, that can fully replace a body part. Or perhaps machines, that can make areas like deserts grow plantlife. Or just make a bunch of Bags of Holding. Obviously I would be questioned how I do this... But I feel like people would not care as much as long as I would give them advanced technology and money.
Druid. Healing magic, prolonged life and just hanging out in me grove
Chilling like an alpine
Artificer. But the 3.5e version not the joke version from 5e. Now I have access to every spell in the entire game so long as I apply it to an item first, and the ability to create immense items of power to solve all my needs, big or small.
Fellow 3.5 Artificers unite! But for real though, 3.5 Artificers could do literally anything, especially with the create wonderous item. And depending on how you/your DM reads things, there is a great argument to be made that they don't even need to use actual spells to make items since they work with magic directly.
The XP costs would suck, but so long as there is a reasonable way to gain more with relative ease and pick up the cost reduction feats (especially pre eratta) you could change the world. Solving world hunger would be as simple as a wonderous item that creates food, built to be unlimited use. Cancer? Not anymore, we can cure that. Oh someone died, well let's bring them back.
Need to farm XP? Build a construct and give it some magical items to make it basically invincible and send it out. Build an army of them. Establish a new world order. Anything is possible and you are limited by just your imagination.
Life cleric, just imagine all the pain you could stop. Your friends or family are ill, boom cured. No more cancer, no more blindness or deafness as they get old, no more heart disease, no more cirrhosis of the liver from all that heavy drinking. Walk into a children's hospital and just start dropping aoe cure diseases. You could just travel from hospital to hospital curing every one, saving people for limbs cut off or were stabbed or shot. You don't even have to let people know it was you. Go to other countries and cure them of parasitic infections from the water they drink, by purification of the water in the well itself. Everywhere you go the world would be a better healthier happier place. You'd have to get high level, but once you did, you could start cleaning out the contamination of rivers soil and the ocean. You could work with the druid to get rid of microplastics and glyphosate on a large scale. It would be dope.
Bard is absolutely the right choice for a real world application. Lots of people saying wizard, but you need to study like a mother fucker to learn your spells, canonically they don't just come to you like a sorcerer. Bard is the best because it would allow you to ace job interviews, be proficient in so many skills and magically manipulate pretty much any social encounter to go exactly how you want.
Job interview? You meant audition.
Depends on the level but probably wizard (learns the most spells), druid (animal and nature) or Monk (Perfect Body and Mind)
probably druid.
Transforming into animals can be useful. plant magic and elemental magic has a lot of utility.
Also i love animals and speaking to our doggo or cat would be really fun.
Artificer.
For the magic items.
It's a trick question, the moment I accept the deal I'll become Warlock
Moon Druid
Wizard. The class itself is built upon developing spells for any purposes (every arcane spell was invented by a wizard), so it offers the most options.
Seeing as the voice doesn't specify a level or whether anyone else is getting this offer, it's the safest bet. Even a lv1 wizard could transform the world, and that potential skyrockets at lv3 and lv5.
Cleric, then challenge the pope to a miracle-off.
If I can be own power source for it? Peace Cleric.
If I can have access to the entire spell list? Divination wizard.
If these conditions can't be met? Moon druid.
A big question would be what level? If we're talking level 20, I'll take druid and live for a long time, as well as being able to turn into all kinds of animals.
Druid, for sure. I’m not sure which subclass I’d want, though. Either Dreams or Moon. I’ve just always liked druids, and between the Animorphs and Ben 10 (original series), I’ve always liked the idea of turning into other creatures. The spells are handy, too. Dreams because the little bit of added teleportation and astral projection seems like fun.
Druid or Sorcerer.
But I would indulge different aspects of myself for each.
As a druid I would find a nice isolated bit of woodland in the Adirondacks and build a little hobbit-hole style home using the "shape earth" spell. And I'd live up there with my cats and a bunch of other animals and just use "tree stride" to visit my kids or other places I'd like to see. Maybe stop by a hospital and subtly cure disease on some hopeless cases. But mostly I'd just be a male version of Poison Ivy who doesn't hate humanity, but rather tries to get humanity and nature to exist in harmony.
As a sorcerer I'd keep living in the city as I currently do and I'd probably become a vigilante but also a bit of a prankster. Use some spells to foil a robbery, but also just coat the location with a "web" spell to really confuse people. Or sit on my balcony and cast "message" to random strangers walking down the street so they clearly hear someone whispering in their ear. Reduce and enlarge people (especially fun because it lasts only 1 minute per level. So it would be just long enough for them to really freak out over it and then they revert back), cast "ice storm" in a vacant lot in July so a bunch of people see a small isolated ice storm in summertime. Cast "improved invisibility" on myself, sneak into a session of Congress, and cast "mass invisibility" on the Senate. Then they're all invisible until one of them does something or until someone moves 180 feet away. It would ultimately be harmless, but would go down in history as the time the Senate vanished for a couple minutes. Chaotic stuff like that.
Factotum
I love this class, one of my favorites from 3.5
Cleric
Divine Intervention would end world conflict in an instant.
Monk.
Because monk things.
If the voice in my head promises and delivers power, it sounds like I’m already a warlock.
Artificer because it's magic but the government won't hunt me down as fast
Anyone who chooses Cleric ensures that religion and gods are real.
Nothing wisdom based if I am hearing voices in my head
Being a class in real life? Definitely bard. If I got a subclass, probably college of lore. I feel like that’d make life easier in the things I want to achieve. I’m also an artist, so I feel as though bard would fit how creative and artistic I am irl.
Bards in general are fun, and a lot of the features are very useful. I’d mostly be looking forward to Jack of all trades, expertise, and inspiring other friends/family would honestly be great to have.
Warlock, Great Old One Patron, Pact of the Chain.
First, it's thematic, obviously the strange voice is a Patron, and they're offering power. a GOO would be interesting to work with, because it has a lot of cosmological implications that would be fascinating to explore. With Pact of the Chain, I can then have a Pseudodragon familiar which would be neat.
Second, it's my favorite class.
Third, if this is happening, then there's obviously something big going down, and not a lot of things resist Force damage, so Eldritch Blast will provide a solid offense against the very likely tide of monsters coming to eat my face. Yes, the reduced total number of spell slots to spend is a disadvantage, but those would be relegated to support or 'emergency' spells regardless, but invocations would more than make up for that for me.
Paladin. At level 3 paladins are immune to disease. As someone who is chronically sick and deals with seasonal allergies that can make me very sick if I’m not careful…….. Being immune to diseases sounds like the best thing ever.
Arch-fey Warlock: The invocations are just too good.
And its IRL so you don’t have to take all the combat invocations
First of all I’d talk to my therapist about it.
Warlock, I like warlocks
Bard because spells and charisma + a future in the music industry
I dunno man I'm already a Bard with -4 to charisma and +10 to "the label on my shirt is driving me insane and the roof lights are too loud"
Barbarian, of course. Stronger than any human who's ever lived in our world, able to fight beyond mortal wounds, a touch of attunement to nature.
A voice in your head?! Clearly you just accepted a pact
Sorcerer. Hands down. I get to just have magic in my blood, and it manifests the more I use it and get used to it. Better than Wizard, because I don't have to study (and also because where am I gonna find magical tomes to study from IRL?). Sorcerer is the way to go.
I'd go with sorcerer. Gives me inate spellcasting, which is good since there aren't exactly easily accessible texts for wizards to study. Plus, Charisma is a useful stat irl
If scrolls/spellbooks are available, then Wizard, obviously. The ability to change reality is kind of OP. (But without a way to learn spells, being a wizard would be very very sad.)
If there are no scrolls, then sorcerer or some class with innate casting so I can actually have something to cast.
Bard. Bares get lots and lots of proficiencies which would come in handy. The enchantment magic would make regular life where people don't understand spells so much easier. You could talk yourself out of so many poor situations and into so many well paid low work positions. You could become one of the best magician musicians in the world too
Do you level up or not?
If not, sorcerer as you start with the most cantrips.
If yes... wizard.
Bard, so I can actually be charismatic & good at things
blue wizard
1e Barbarian because of the insane benefits, and who needs tech anyway?
Warlock because I’m their only patron then and they’d not abuse me
Unfortunately, probably monk. The potential to get timeless/ageless body etc., unarmed AC and just becoming over all more lethal and, depending in edition, able to perform feats defying the laws of physics is very applicable.
I say unfortunately because I don't really like monks.
Wizard so i can raise skeletons, turn invisible, make people shit their drawers with a command, teleport, etc. With wizard magic you could become a menace in the funniest ways possible.
Divination wizard, if I can get access to spellbooks.
Bard, or Cleric.
The lack of spell tomes would cripple WIZARDRY.
I'd rather go Clerics; Clerics get good spells without needing tomes, can pick from their full list at-will, and from that spell list I could do a shit-load of a lot of good for my friends.
OTOH, Bard would let me flagrantly abuse supernatural powers and Proficiency in a host of social skills to bring about change in the world. Clerics can sorta do that to a lesser extent too, though.
It's a toss-up, really.
if you can take only 1 lvl in the class, either cleric or wozard
if you can lvl up, either druid or monk
Cleric
IN THE NAME OF GOD
Divine Soul Sorcerer. Alllll of the magical healing in the world, plus Wish, plus sneaky crime spells.
Ranger. Living off-grid in the wild sounds like a lot more useful to me than the rest. Even if I hunt CR 0 - CR 1 beasts for sustinence, that's more than enough to level up over the years, and I'll be contributing a lot less to climate change than summoning fireballs would
Barbarian rage fun
Druid or paladin.
For druid, turning into animals, useful spells, slowed aging would all be great. But honestly I’d do it just for goodberry, I hate how much time and money cooking/eating takes lol
Paladin almost entirely due to the immunity to disease. Especially if mental illness counts. Of course being able to heal others and whatever real world applications aura of protection has would be major draws as well.
I give the edge to druid because as a paladin I’d have to have an oath and that’d probably stress me out too much. As a druid I could more easily go about my life
Clearly I'm being offered Warlock, lmao
Elf, because lifespan.
Sorcerer.
I don't know shit! I cast using the vibes!
Cleric, wizard or druid
I would be an artificer and get very rich. Retire to a life of luxury with my golem servants caring for my every need.
Aberrant Mind Sorcerer
Enchantment magic goes so far in this world
Druid or Cleric is objectively the right choice because they have access to their full spell list automatically without having to study arcane mathematical hieroglyphics for years to make a spark like a Wizard does
But which one would I pick for fun?
Ardent from 4e - “how to win friends and influence people” (the class) that also happens to have some of the coolest psychic based powers in any version of D&D ever made
as much as i'd enjoy bard i think i gotta go Druid
Probably druid for that timeless body
Well it doesn't matter, does it? It's not like having a class is meaningful without the levels to go with it. This is a classic example of a Fey or Faustian bargain.
Wizard so I can cast wish
Druid Circle of the moon for true immortality. go live in the sun.
It's a trap, you'll receive Warlock levels anyway.
C'mon people, it's a disembodied voice inside your head