After a breakdown or flashback our alters frequently change name, identity and sometimes altogether dissapear. i dont jnow if this is normal or if people experience this? complete personality chnage like theyre. someome else. like thehre reinvented or somethigmng.. I am very confused and scared i dont want to lose them all. In tge past alters have just. dissapeared. i dont know ehy
Sorta just like. sometiems caregivers will become persecutors and be hostile or tougher alters wilk become sensetive or like complete breakdowns.
That's rough. We are sorry.
s' okay, thanj you
This happens to us too. Some alters have remained relatively similar (we’ve been aware for about a year), but “deletion” or “reconfiguration” are so common that some alters are scared of fronting lest they get fried.
Im sorry that happens to you, thank you
This happens to us :((
Everything will get quiet, everyone will go away, and then only a few will come back with some changes and modifications to their identity.. it’s confusing and scary- it causes huge lapses in our memory and somatic shit :((
Well alters can’t disappear for forever but they can go dormant sometimes. I was dormant for five or so years and when I came back I had a big role and identity shift. Sometimes we shift ourselves and our roles to adapt to a new environment or whatever is now required of us
this happened to us too. and it's frequent enough to just not want to do anything anymore, like what's the use if we're just going to lose memories, forget names, get erased or altered or whatever. It feels like keeping relationships and forming friendships and getting to know people outside of ourselves is just traumatic and a waste of energy if everything changes so often. What's the point if none of us will be here in a month or two when the next slightly frustrating change happens. It's all so pointless. Just trying to get through it one day at a time. Not giving alters names, not making anyone host, just cosplaying as a singlet until we can't anymore. It works :)
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Sorry if this is extremely late. I typed out 95% of the comment and forgot to post it.
Sounds incredibly horrible. I'm not an expert but from my experience of rapid re-organization it seems that alters/parts/fragments are (at the core) manifestations of how the mind compartmentalizes its emotional memories, factual memories, skills, emotional ranges, etc.
Your mind can't delete those "contents", but with DID it can compartmentalize them by putting its contents in different boxes with dissociative barriers. Each box can have a lot of content or barely any content, but regardless, the barriers are there and each alter shows up as separate. What's in each box defines the traits, roles, and attitudes of an alter, and even a little change in contents may make a big difference in that (which is why alters can be so different and contradictory despite getting their contents from the same life).
All alters are valid and authentic but also temporary. The dissociative barriers that draw the borders between boxes are actually super fluid, they can get redefined as much and as frequently as the underlying mind deems necessary (unfortunately you can't consciously determine this). Basically your mind can take out the contents of some boxes and redistribute them when it deems necessary, make more boxes and redistribute, make less boxes and distribute, etc. and anything is possible. For instance, you can have 1 box of contents re-organize into 50 boxes within a very short time if your mind is somehow convinced to do that. Whether it's because it believes it can no longer cope with the current configuration, because it's convinced that another configuration is better, or even because it is convinced to fragment unnecessarily just to self-sabotage and make life more difficult (I'm still dealing with this and it happens on a whim).
Usually during more intense breakdowns or flashbacks, it's easier to overwhelm your mind and make it convinced enough to reorganize the barriers. Sometimes it's quick enough that before you even know it, some alters just completely change (because their contents have been re-organized).
I'd say don't worry about alters disappearing. You may never get the exact same box back to re-create the way you knew an alter, but everything in your alters will always be there.
Hey there,
We have heard about this happening to many systems that experience dissociative seizures. We have them. So far, our inner world has only ever been affected by ours.... are we talking 'stare off into space, nobody home' breakdowns to clarify?