Before this terrible disease. I always dealt with mental health issues like anxiety (very scary, and negative thoughts 24/7) and depression (rarely anything will make me happy let alone crack a smile). But this disease is changing me. I’m a hothead now. I’m irritated 24/7 because it’s pain and worrisome 24/7. The smallest thing sets me off now. I’ve told my friends and my mom that I seriously believe I’m going to get arrested soon because all it’s going to take is for someone to say something rude to me in public and I’m going to be fighting them instantly because of all this anger that’s bottled up inside. No this isn’t me trying to sound tough. I understand I’m a grown man and shouldn’t be picking fights. But i go to bed in pain. I wake up in pain. I only get 4-5 hours of sleep. I can’t ever go out with friends as much as I want to because of this. Trying to explain any of this to anyone is pointless because they don’t know what I’m going through. People really don’t go into depth just how much this disease will break a person. I went from being patient, to now the smallest thing will have me raging. I get I’m not the only one going through this. If anything this post is to spread awareness as to just how much this disease takes a toll on someone’s mind. It feels like I’m trapped. There’s no cure to this disease and knowing this just takes a toll on me. Sooner or later I’m either going to end it.

Edit: I’ve tried therapy and seeing a psychiatrist for my mental health. Nothing worked. Please don’t recommend me a therapist or a psychiatrist, I’ve already tried.