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Well said!
"interesting, this blow to my mental health will cripple me for several days. Oh, that one will give me anxiety. Dear Christ there are the mommy issues approaching"
:( I've had this but it's never contributed to me being able to solve any of my problems. I also just get aware of stuff in therapy then immediately forget as soon as I step out of the door YAY
Same, tho lately i've figured out (like, actually figured out) that it's probably because i tend to distract myself, or that i generally don't tend to stay alone with my thoughts often, tho that's just my personal case, just throwing this out there. :3
Understanding is an inherently backwards looking thing. It’s useful, but it’s not motivating. It has to be followed up with Application and Action which are forward thinking.
It’s easy to seek understanding and get stuck in the past, but getting stuck won’t solve anything
"Wow, you seem able to really articulate your mental health distress." "Thanks, are you going to help me tho?" "Mmmmmmmm... No."
This. A 100% this. And yet they don't tell you the overarching diagnoses that make you feel that way. They won't help and they won't give you a name to look up for yourself when you hit rock bottom. All the years in the ward and I can tell when I'm spiraling but even if I put it into words despite it being incredibly difficult and they just don't help. I managed to get my main diagnosis out of my Psychiatrist and looked up reliable books on it and it's helped me more than most of what they did in a decade. Smh
I guess if you want a job done right you gotta do it yourself.
Coincidentally why I do enjoy my daily suicide ideation.
Yeah it sucks but I guess that's just life 🤷♀️ that's why I've glued myself to the computer for so long, just so I wouldn't have to think about it
When your childhood was like prison and you had nothing better to do all day every day than just sit and think about everything.
Got out of court ordered ward stay because the Head Clinician said this and sighed signing the papers.
Being self aware =/! Being able to do anything about it
Here's to younger me with repressed memories of abuse who believed I was actually particularly well adjusted due to my extreme self-awareness...
Being overly self aware is common among traumatized people, of course.
The heart breaker I get often enough is: 'Wow, you sound like you know more about this than I do...' and the equally icy, 'Wow, I can see you've spent a lot of time thinking about this.' I'm like, how are all of you using these same lines? What are you actually trained to provide here?
Lol yeah that's a hard point to get across. Understandable from their perspective
They literally ask me what I want or get out of therapy and idk. That's their job. I have the self awareness to do their job by myself and they're always five steps behind. Help me ffs
"Oh it seems like you already know what to do" Yeah so HELP ME DO IT 😭😭
Indeed. Same with all their helpful ADHD “advice” 🙄🤦
Literally same. They also said I'm great at psychoanalysis, especially of my own thoughts and actions. And yes. It fucking is part of the problem because it sucks when I know why some things I do are specifically because of that one traumatic incident, and that now I no longer actually have to do it, and I would be better off not doing it, but if I don't do it my heart races and I have a panic attack so I do it anyways despite knowing that I don't have to.
I’m self aware but I just want to talk to someone about it and go through my thought process abt my problem and get a second opinion
Oh. Oops, my fault🤦🏾♂️
Haha.
yeah ...
Couldn't be me. I'm so terrified of introspection I sometimes can't tell what I'm physically feeling
Yep. That is why they say ignorance is bliss.
They started saying that and stuff like “you are very knowledgeable” about 2 years ago lol
I know where I'm going wrong I just don't know how to stop doing it
If you aware, aren’t you more in control of what you’re feeling? I don’t know
Not necessarily, esp if you have cptsd. Knowing what’s wrong and not seeing a solution is arguably worse than being completely clueless.
When I started this latest round of therapy, my therapist was like, "You're able to talk quite freely and cavalierly about your problems, but I'll bet if I started asking you about how xyz made you feel it would shut you down." She was right. Talking flippantly about the problem, pointing it out, making jokes, gave me a sense of control over how I engaged with it. I could change the subject, self-deprecate before someone else pointed out problems, and pretend like it didn't hurt as bad as it did.
It's kind of like in the movie Dumplin' when the girl rebelliously joins the beauty contest and is like, "I'm fat but at least I'm not clueless." She thinks the awareness means she avoids the hurt of other people shaming her for her weight. But all it does is alienate her from the people that genuinely love her, because her "awareness" makes her think they don't mean it. She isn't truly able to feel the joy of doing the beauty contest (which she deep down does want to participate in) because she has to project the image that she's just doing it as a joke.
Oh I got it. Instead of fully embracing those negative emotions that can be rather uncomfortable to feel. I understand.
Or the girl in movie truly living her body and seeing beauty in it and saying to herself “I’m entering this beauty contest bc I’m beautiful, and my body is least interesting part about me, and I’m here to showcase it”
YES! Exactly. It's tempting to think that no one can reject you if you've already rejected yourself, but that's like saying if no one can cut your arm off if you do it first. You still end up cutting your arm off. Awareness is helpful for survival in harmful systems, but not necessarily helpful for getting out of those systems.
Got yah. A distinguishable difference if you will
It feels like falling down a very steep cliff face, but analyzing the speed and angle of my fall and predicting every rock and branch I'm about to hit on the way down