Thank you for sharing your experience. I am so sorry you went through all of thatš«š
It's also the case that there is an extremely wide variety of things that can cause nerve damage. Sciatica pain can even be from birth defects, chronic poor posture, or just even just prolonged severe stress.
Yeah, I do know that, is just that the fact it could be from CSA is even a possibility alone scares the shit out of me. And it's why I'm scared of any answer I might get: if it is nerve damage, I'll spiral into further believing and obsessing over my fragmented memories. If it's something else, I'll feel insane for even considering it and hate myself for "making up trauma" and how I'm an awful person for speculating like that.
The point would be to see if there's anything to be done to minimize the damage you already have and prevent further in the future. That seems worth it!
I'm rarely taken seriously though and that makes me scared too :( maybe there isn't anything wrong with me at all and I'm just a whiny bitch like my mother always says.
Have had debilitating stomach pains for years. Finally got some help. Started using a standing desk, exercise more, learn to belly breathe. Things get better, baby steps.
Ooof Iām so sorry, OP.
FWIW, not getting help would be letting your abusers win. (This is what I tell myself when I have to deal with taking care of myself).
Donāt let them win.
Oof. I'm so sorry to hear you're having such painful/scary issues.
I have different physical issues. But for me too, it's very coincidental that they sprung up during the very specific time of my very physically strenuous trauma.
Do I want to know if and how my abusers damaged me, possibly forever? No š that's scary
Iām not a medical doctor but I really think you should go in. I just got a major diagnosis of a serious autoimmune disorder with a lot of similar symptoms. I donāt want to scare you or give you more to stress about (I was labeled a hypochondriac for years), but I think if you can find the physical reason for these symptoms it might really improve the quality of your life (I hope).
I know all the āThe Body Keeps The Scoreā stuff and trauma manifesting as pain, and I do think thereās something to all that probably. Most primary care doctors donāt really look into all that though. They are much more focused in the physical causes of pain and symptoms.
What Iām trying to say is, I think and I hope there is a path were you can feel better physically and enjoy life more without confronting the other stuff if you donāt want to or your not ready too.
You deserve to be pain free and enjoy life even regardless of whatās up and where youāre at with the other stuff.
I donāt know, I hope this is just encouraging to read! I donāt want to be any kind of invaliding or anything negative so forgive if anything came off that way. I wish you the very best in life. You deserve it.
I've had many theories over the years, but I'm always terrified of going to the doctor because it's so hard to get taken seriously. I go from believing I have something one day, to calling myself a hypochondriac the very next haha
I know that one! My trick is to say āthis is negatively impacting my quality of lifeā and ask them to document why they donāt order a test or why they wonāt treat X complaint. Those things usually make them change their tune. Itās the difference between not listening to a patient and having a paper trial explaining why they chose to not take a patients complaint seriously.
Itās is a fight sometimes though and you will have to be your biggest advocate at times. Which is hard and exhausting but, I think, worth it.
Definitely feel you there.
I have had excruciatingly painful cramps for years, and every doctor I've seen said that it's normal. Even though no amount of pain medicine works.
After years of trial-and-error with different medications that haven't worked, my doctor is only now considering that MAYBE something is wrong. It's so incredibly frustrating.
I have Fibromyalgia, which is a condition that affects the nervous system. The relevant symptoms here: widespread pain, pain that can worsen with movement, pain that can be easily dismissed by lazy doctors, and lower quality of life due to pain.
Some medical staff understand that pain is real even if they can't see it, others don't. I consider myself lucky in terms of how I've been treated, and I've still been yelled at.
That doesn't mean don't get care. This kind of pain takes a toll both physically and mentally, especially when untreated. You deserve to be helped, you deserve to be heard, and you deserve to have someone stand you for you, even if it's yourself.
I've had a doctor ""diagnose"" me with fibromyalgia, which is to say he heard I had chronic pain and just said "yeah that's fibro" and didn't listen to me when I tried to further describe my symptoms because "that's not how fibromyalgic pain works"...
Bruh. I really hate how often my disability is used like that. That's laziness and a lack of integrity.
I'm so sorry that you're dealing with that. I have chronic sciatica and nerve damage from a herniated disc, which wasn't due to abuse, but it's still horrible to live with. Please get help from your doctor, there's medication and physical therapy that you can get, which makes it easier to live with. If you're not getting help, it might turn into a chronic condition even when it doesn't have to.
I'd say it's already chronic... I've been dealing with this for many years now, at least since high school
Gru meme format (bcuz I'm too lazy to edit one on my phone so late bcuz too many downloads of apps and stuff)
Panel 1: Read OP's post and feel way too seen
Panel 2: decide I'm saving it to show my doctor because... well why not?
Panel 3: brain reminds me that mom had the exact same pain
Panel 4: brain reminds me that mom had the exact same pain
End
Ohhh boy do I feel this. Especially cause when I try, they just blame my weight and push me out the door.Ā
Ok I want to let you know a few things that might be helpful to keep in mind because I also have severe nerve damage:
Only some types of nerve damage will show up on any kind of standard test. I have it very bad in some places but the nerve lines themselves are not broken or completey nonfunctioning. I got a contrast MRI done to try and assess it when it was at it's worst and nothing came up despite it being very clear that the nerves are both hypersensitive and prone to serious malfunction. My symptoms are not in question, but there was essentially no solid medical proof of the disfunction. Also, the metal in the contrast dye made me severely ill and I never fully recovered so THAT was a great use of my time...
It's also the case that there is an extremely wide variety of things that can cause nerve damage. Sciatica pain can even be from birth defects, chronic poor posture, or just even just prolonged severe stress. For me, I had a lot of other medical issues my entire life. Trauma was a factor for me but it wasn't an extreme physical trauma but prolonged stress, damage from medications, some broader medical neglect, and I was probably born more prone to being medically frial to begin with.
All that is just to say, if you go to the doctor, I wouldn't let the fear of possibilities stop you. You are already aware of one possibility, but there are many others and it's unlikely a doctor will be able to fully confirm or rule out the suspicion. The point would be to see if there's anything to be done to minimize the damage you already have and prevent further in the future. That seems worth it!