Newly diagnosed with CPTSD (both parents borderline). No idea what type of therapy to seek. Looking for advice, please.

I’m newly diagnosed. CPTSD with major anxiety, probably codependency and emotional (feeling perpetually unloved) issues. Both parents are borderline with mother also narcissist on top of that. The evaluating therapist said she’s never even heard of such a case and suggested emotionally focused therapy (after Sue Johnson) but it’s fairly new and there’s nobody in my area. What are some other approaches in therapy I could take? I am looking for something that won’t let me fall apart in my extremely hectic life as a mother of two, business owner, home owner and wife. I’m the rock and everyone else relies on me to keep things running. But I have to learn to balance my emotions, heal my inner child and manage dealing with my mother (my father passed from suicide a few years ago).

I’m so lost and afraid. I could really use some ad ice from those who are further along on this journey.

in CPTSDby badibadi

100%

5.1y

pdawes

5.1y

I am a big fan of relational therapy, from personal experience, and I would definitely recommend it to people who come from difficult backgrounds and have not really had someone safe to open up to.

What I was really not a fan of was the "blank screen" psychoanalysis where someone just sits there and scribbles in their notes while you talk at the air. I experienced that as a kid and it was very exciting to discover that there were other options.

badibadi

5.1y

Thank you so much. I had not heard of that one yet. My mother is a psychotherapist to top it all off and has tried her therapy on me in the past. I’ve also sought therapy myself about 15 years ago and had a very bad experience with someone who was not a professional I had thoroughly researched. So, I’m going into this a bit more nervously, but also with eyes more wide open. Thank you for taking the time to respond.

not-a-puddle

5.1y

Hi! I would strongly suggest you join the “raised by borderlines” subreddit and check out their intro info, which includes some great advice on interviewing a therapist. Your situation doesn’t sound so unusual, and i wouldn’t be surprised if you’d find a lot of kindred spirits there. ❤️ My mom is undiagnosed BPD and a covert narcissist, and I have resulting CPTSD. I just switched from my longtime therapist bc I felt I needed something new, and I tried a new therapist who did not work out before I found the RBB subreddit’s advice. Just a tip, one that is suggested on the RBB board, and one that I learned the hard way: I’d avoid any DBT-based therapy, which can be really beneficial to many people, but usually approaches therapy from the borderline’s perspective, and may not “hear” your voice. There are also some AMAZINGLY helpful books out there for children of BPD and narcissist parents (RBB has a good list, and the children of narcissists subreddit—the name escapes me—prob does, too). My faves are Understanding the Borderline Mother and Will I Ever Be Good Enough. Good luck—you’re in the right place. ❤️

badibadi

5.1y

I can't thank you enough. That is such helpful advice. I will check it all out. Thank you! <3

AutoModerator

5.1y

Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local emergency services. For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the wiki. For those posting or replying, please view the etiquette guidelines.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Roomba_Rockett

5.1y

Damn, I'm sorry to hear that. Neither of my parents have ever had a chance to be diagnosed with anything, but they both display borderline traits, and I was diagnosed BPD as well as CPTSD.

My advice would be to stay strong in seeking therapy. Some therapist click with you, some wont, and that can be hard to recover from. I've found that DBT saved my ass, and I've heard great things about EMDR and plan to try it when I can find it locally. Other than that talk therapy with a good therapist has really helped me. Even though I'm not a student I go to the Colorado State University therapy center, where the therapist are students, and they get feedback from professors. I was hesitant at first because I don't like college kids (entitled, rich, other silly generalizations) and because I was worried a student couldn't handle my crazy, but it's honestly hands down the best therapy I've gotten in the last ten years.