I grew up with parents who slammed doors/objects, cabinets and dishes, stomped on the floor, screamed (either at nothing or at me) and were overall aggresive when angry. Long story short, they didn’t having good coping skills for their anger and it passed down to me. I’ve tried my best in the recent years to learn better coping techniques for anger like writing down my anger, taking deep breaths and getting away from whatever made me angry, yelling into a pillow, etc.

But I’m struggling. I feel the urge to be more aggressive with inanimate objects, like doors, when I get angry. I don’t do it often at all, I’ve done it maybe once or twice in the last year but I end up feeling so guilty. I tell myself it’s fine to do when no one’s around, but I did it once when someone in my house made me angry and I regretted it so much. It’s so hard to feel better when I try other coping techniques. It feels like I have to be aggressive for it to be truly cathartic, and I’ve been holding in SO much anger in the last year because I’ve been mistreated horribly by so many people.

It’s getting harder to deal with my anger and I don’t want to become aggressive, but I’ve already slammed doors twice recently so I’m scared I’m becoming abusive.