How do you actually heal? Therapy hasn’t “fixed” me and I’m struggling hard.

For those of you who have been in therapy for years and finally healed, what changed? What finally got you to heal?

I understand therapy is collaborative. I’ve been in therapy for 10 years with 5 different therapists. Mostly cbd, but also brainspotting, emdr, and ifs.

I was just prescribed clorazepam and zoloft. Because I’m at the point where I want to give up. Hopeless.

How do you actually heal? I’m still suffering from hurt from a situation. Abandonment. I cry in therapy the whole time. I feel like I’m going in circles. I know how I feel. I feel how I feel. Yet in 10 years I’m worse today.

I was in a situation that I had no fault in. Yet I hold shame, sadness, rejection, anger, etc. I’ve talked everything out so deeply. So why can’t I accept it or feel less bothered?

What am I missing?