I've spent years in abusive relationship after abusive relationships, since I was 12, I am 34. Years of therapy, years of meds. All the time, people tell me to get away from these abusive relationships, keep looking, that there's better relationships out there. Sure, there might be, but statistically, the likelihood of me finding them is very low in reality, that's not coming from a negative point of view, just a realistic one. The type of person that would be good for me at this point in time is very rare, a very small percentage of the global population. I say global, because I've lived in 10 countries, I've traveled to 34, I've been around, and I keep having the same experiences. I would need someone who both understands and sees CPTSD deeply, but also has the space to allow me to heal, but also nomadic, funny, smart/serious, motivated, super kind/compassionate but also assertive to call me out of I need it, deep thinker. There's seriously not a lot of people like that out there and I'm already 34. I'm so tired and I'm so beaten down, I'm now in my like 10th abusive relationship, I wish people should stop telling me oh there's someone out there for you, acting like I'm weird for being alone and inviting me to couples events. I literally just want peace, if I'm fated to be alone forever, so be it, I would rather be left alone to cope with that than to have very naive statements thrown at me alot like "there's someone for everyone". I wish people would be more realistic when they talk to me, I know they are trying to help but it hurts.
Stop telling traumatized people that there is "someone for everyone" out there after a lifetime of abusive relationships and isolation
CPTSD Vent / RantAlthough I welcome differences of opinion, I don't think using the terms "waaah", "circle-jerk", or describing watching someone's cry of pain with "eye-rolling", is the nicest way to communicate on this topic. We've all experienced so much pain and dismissiveness already, please consider sensitivity when responding to someone sharing their vulnerability publicly.
I think you are completely misunderstanding the topic of my post. What my post says, is the general population often makes blanket statements regarding relationships that are categorically untrue and cause more harm to me as someone who has struggled with relationships my entire life. I also go on to say, it could be possible to find healthy relationships, I just also believe it's not a likely thing for me. What this post doesn't say, is that "healthy relationships are impossible" and all the rest of what you are insinuating in your forum post about this post and in this comment. I resent you comparing a vulnerable vent post about societal behavior to incels and black pills, which is a factually untrue comparison. Being neurodivergent ( I am as well btw) isn't an excuse to use terminology that is insensitive and also to make assumptions about my grasp on my own reality. All your comments before they were deleted had strong tones of insensitivity and invalidation of my own lived experience and projected your interpretation of what I said as fact, when it is not. Youre reading something into this post that is not there, and this group is supposed to be a supportive group. If people with complex trauma can't even have a space to openly safely share their thoughts and feelings, which may include lived experiences of pain, isn't this all just repeating patterns of invalidation then?
I want to personally apologize. I saw the post and felt a bit off about it, but asked my other active mods and got the impression it was alright enough. It's a topic the sub probably could have. But reading your comment here, seeing how they had responded to others on their post...I can see now I should've trusted my gut about this. It's just hard to make a ruling sometimes when there isn't a "clear" rule violation.
The user is banned and won't be harassing people anymore in a fake show of "caring about what's toxic and unhealthy" whilst talking down to people in very toxic and unhealthy ways.
Oh no worries, I appreciate your efforts as a moderator and I really appreciate the existence of this forum. I know whenever I post there might be someone with a difference of opinion, unfortunately perhaps sometimes there's some who have difficulty communicating their thoughts in a respectful way. But don't feel bad at all, you're doing a good job :)