I've spent years in abusive relationship after abusive relationships, since I was 12, I am 34. Years of therapy, years of meds. All the time, people tell me to get away from these abusive relationships, keep looking, that there's better relationships out there. Sure, there might be, but statistically, the likelihood of me finding them is very low in reality, that's not coming from a negative point of view, just a realistic one. The type of person that would be good for me at this point in time is very rare, a very small percentage of the global population. I say global, because I've lived in 10 countries, I've traveled to 34, I've been around, and I keep having the same experiences. I would need someone who both understands and sees CPTSD deeply, but also has the space to allow me to heal, but also nomadic, funny, smart/serious, motivated, super kind/compassionate but also assertive to call me out of I need it, deep thinker. There's seriously not a lot of people like that out there and I'm already 34. I'm so tired and I'm so beaten down, I'm now in my like 10th abusive relationship, I wish people should stop telling me oh there's someone out there for you, acting like I'm weird for being alone and inviting me to couples events. I literally just want peace, if I'm fated to be alone forever, so be it, I would rather be left alone to cope with that than to have very naive statements thrown at me alot like "there's someone for everyone". I wish people would be more realistic when they talk to me, I know they are trying to help but it hurts.