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Thank you and I love your username haha.
See I feel that same way about having my own child, it’d make me resent them more. I just always feel like a burden or a like consolation? Idk how to describe it but I always feel so different from all of them.
I feel you, I struggle with it sometimes too though I could say I’m living my best life now without my family.
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"They didn't start trying to have a second chance with me until.. " This part hit home, it makes me really sad as this behavior shouldn't even exist on their part. They should have been fully emotionally connected to you the whole time from the beginning. No second chances needed in my opinion.
I've gone no contact since October and I'm finally learning to fight for my needs to be met. I'm( 31 F) and can't believe I'm only just learning now to care for myself and learn what my needs are. Best decision I've made was going no contact. However I live in a different city so I never have to see them again so it supports that choice.
I have no contact with my parents for about a year because I just reached a point where it was too emotionally draining for me to keep in touch with them and my boundaries were being ignored multiple times so I just lost my patience. I didn’t feel guilty afterwards because I was just so done with them but there was some guilt while we were still talking, they complained I wasn’t reaching out often and similar shit. Also, having a child of my own made me even angrier at them as I realized they were doing bare minimum. You have the right to feel hurt and fuck them for not apologizing and expecting you to get over it.