Anyone else go into Fight or Flight when a stranger is in your safe space?

I hope your partner understands you better soon. That would make me angry and anxious too.

TW: Sexual trauma:

I used to mask a lot in my relationships and my partner asked if I ever wanted to do things with other girls, and I said sure, even though my gut said otherwise. (ah, the classic fawn response) One day he brought over a girl without warning me or asking. Its been a year now and I've healed a lot from that (and he has deeply apologized many, many times and acknowledged that that was a terrible thing to do) but a big trigger is women being in my space, especially with no warning.

But before that I already held my home as a sort of sacred place because I grew up in homes that never felt safe or clean. I protect the energy of my home with a vice grip. I also only allow people who I trust and who have positive energy into my home, though I live with a boyfriend, a roommate, and his girlfriend so I don't always have control over that sort of thing which is hard! If my roommate or his GF have friends over I can't even go downstairs to get a snack.

My partner has PTSD so we have some common ground for me to explain things like this, though his PTSD symptoms are very different than my CPTSD symptoms. I always feel dramatic about things like this. I've gotten a lot better at unmasking and telling him (my safe person) what I need and cannot handle, which makes me feel so much safer. Masking my needs felt very unsafe because I couldn't trust myself to stand up for myself.

Sending good wishes for you and your partner so your needs get met and you feel seen <3