Thank you! And just weird fyi, this added to my audible library without using a credit.
You're welcome!
I feel all this, and it's been so hard, man. Keep moving forward, guys . I hope things get easier.
I find nothing I do or say soothes me, like I can’t self regulate because i’m reacting to something that has already happened and not the present. I have to ride it out. For me it’s like being held upside down on a rollercoaster, you have to wait for the ride to put you upright. Panicking about being upside down makes if more unbearable.
Thats how emotional flashbacks feel to me
The book authored by Pete Walker ,, is by far the most advanced book on CPTSD to date for both the therapist and Cptsd victim survivor. Light easy emotional fkashback daily therapy ,i easily do my self make a big difference, almost to say curing or cured ,large chunks of CPTSD symptoms. Emotional flash backs are very subtle or strong current present emotions such as guilt ,or shame . They are very suntle because people with CPTSD have been living with them so long . Emotional fladh backs are a big hinderance to keeping and forming adult relationships. Catching these emotions in the moment and applying the easy therapy is key .
I agree with everyone referring you to PW’s 13 Steps for Managing Emotional Flashbacks.
While it is not the only sign of a flashback, he says one thing which stuck with me: ‘One common clue that we are in a flashback occurs when we notice that we feel small, helpless, hopeless and so ashamed that we are loath to go out or show our face anywhere.’
There’s more info here: https://www.pete-walker.com/fAQsComplexPTSD.html
Scroll down to ‘How do I know I am in a flashback?’
When I'm super emotional about something I don't need to be that upset about.
A few weeks ago I had to take a walk after someone asked me to add screen shots to a code review. A whole-ass walk. In my head I was like arguing for my life practically with every parent, teacher and boss who ever bitched me out about missing a detail, not following directions, or wasn't satisfied with my work. Over a screenshot that took me five minutes (because I had to change branches and pull up the page again). That's an emotional flashback.
OMG I never thought about the internal arguments being part of all this 🤯 definitely agree on the “super upset” v. reality dichotomy.
I use the acronym JADE, can’t remember the source. You are triggered when you: Justify Argue Defend Explain
To me it's a feeling that doesn't fit the situation I'm in, it's too strong or I can't process it (I'm trying to distract myself somehow or I end up dissociating).
I found out I've been having these almost every day of my life. It was previously thought to be ADHD. Because I would zone out and if somebody was talking I wouldn't hear them. But there was always an emotional trigger and always mental anguish that went with. I was transported back in time to whatever originally made me experience them but I wouldn't remember the event. Just the feelings. It took a trained eye to spot this in me.
And then I've also had a lot of regular flashbacks where I would recall what happened. I thought those were my only flashbacks. It was all flashbacks.
When I can be made to feel safe my supposed ADHD goes away. That's why my current therapist thinks I don't have it.
People have suspected me of ADHD almost my entire life, which is kinda rare for a 40 year old woman. It just wasn't a "female" thing back in the '80s and '90s, y'know. But I was tested multiple times as a child and then as an adult. No ADHD.
The worst thing is that work is really triggering for me, even when my current job is a very nice and understanding place. So many times a memory will make me suddenly not hear someone talking in a meeting for the next 10 minutes or get me staring at my monitor for about the same. Or I just can't start a task for all of the internal dialog about being too slow or not doing it right. It's very mistakable as ADHD.
At a psychiatrist's office, I took a test in about 1994 that said I have ADHD. But nobody knew what CPTSD was back then. The meds made me concentrate better but it turned my anxiety way up but relationships were way harder and I was worried about everything all the time. Other psychiatrists also thought I had ADHD and that I just don't respond very well to the meds. They don't even do anything at all anymore except give me side effects. And nobody ever bothered to screen for trauma.
I'm seeing a trauma therapist now and he says I am hugely effected by CPTSD and that it's what makes it hard to concentrate. He says I'm constantly distracted by the need to check for danger. And sucked away into flashbacks. It goes away when I can be made to feel safe.
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I recognize mine as restriction or feeling overwhelmed in a sense of being like un reachable or something like that. It’s heavy, like physically and emotionally tense and I experience it like a chronic pain thing as well.
Part of what having CPTSD means to me is that the fears that gripped me so tightly in the past will come back and visit me from time to time in the form of a flashback. I know that the feelings don't fit the situation that I'm in, but the fear is still there. I've learned that means I'm having a flashback.
13 Steps for Managing Flashbacks by Pete Walker begins with:
Here's the list:
http://www.pete-walker.com/13StepsManageFlashbacks.htm
Another description by Pete Walker:
Pete Walker, "COMPLEX PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving", Chapter 8