Currently/recently?
Mine is; "I know how everybody's gonna die"
“It also says no trash on the beach Tammy, sooo what are we gonna do here?”
"oh my God it does say that!"
I love Jocelyn. Her lines are always the perfect follow up lines
You are here. Yeah but like, how does it know?
I can literally hear her voice in my head 😂
Tammy’s line is good here too: Duh Jocelyn. It connects to your phone or something.
Perfection
That sign says no running, but you're running your mouth, MeatCute!
Yes! Louise has her mom's sassy genes and 🤣🤣
That’s my favorite!
It's my DADDY! THAT'S MY DADDY IN THERE!
ow!
OW!
DONT TELL ME TO SHUTUP!!
Bill Hader was awesome in that episode
"Mommy doesn't get drunk, she just has fun."
Quote this one when we open the second bottle of wine lol also “I only had half of four bottles of wine” lol
"Alcohol does not solve problems, Miss Missy! It just makes them go away."
"Crackers, where's the crackers? You're coming to bed with me."
Drinking problem? The only problem is I don’t have a drink in my hand!
You're my family and I love you, but you're terrible. You're all terrible.
This is truth
I have a magnet in my high school classroom that says this cuz it really encompasses exactly how I feel about all my students 🤣
"OH I wish my radio worked."
I sing this when I’m alone in my car
That's the only way to do it
“FM, nice!”
They're playing all the hits!
If you teach me to shoot, I'll teach you to regret teaching me to shoot
I once lost $30,000 on a horse, she just ran off with it
This one is mine
"If she was a spice, she'd be flour"
"If she was a book, she'd be two books."
During the day, she's double beige wallpaper. At night, she's the master of sneaking around the house.
Smells weird everywhere young man. That's how you know you're alive.
I don't know who says this, but I read it in Gus' voice lol
It’s Mr. Fish!
"I just peed Andy's pants." "
Warm... Warm... Cold..."
"I'm straight. Or well, I'm mostly straight."
Who am I kidding… you’re out of my league.
I’ll call you
"There's a lot of guys out there that don't care what a guy looks like."
He's so genial about it, it took me a while to get that that's pretty insulting XD
I love all their interactions. Sloppy bears lol. “You got the muffin top, there’s food on your shirt”
I say this alllllll the time
Buckle it up, buckle it up, buckle it up or you’ll die!!!
Ah, the episode where Tina first says "that goes in the butt bank"
Stop following me in front!
We have an Australian Shepherd, so this gets said in our house a lot.
LOL SAME!! hahahahaha
We also have an Aussie and say this a lot too!
“You’re the worst kind of autistic!”
You can't even count
From the Belchies where Bob asks Louise "do you really want your last words to be sarcastic?" Louise :" NOOoooOOoo"
That’s the one for me.
“What’s up with Brenda? I mean… right?”
Nobody freak out but I'm wearing two barrette's.
Chanel Six News: They’ll finger anything with a pulse!
That guy’s fingering right at us!
“Oh you’re such a dick, Bob”
The delivery on this one is so chef’s kiss!!!
“You hear me Tina?”
“Yes, I wear glasses not hearing aids”
My flair
YOU smell like ointment and pee!!
YOU SMELL LIKE OINTMENT AND PEE!!!
Ow, my face (Linda)
“You can’t just leave a kidnapping to go shopping! This isn’t Florida!”
This guy thinks everywhere is Key West!
That’s a dumb place to keep bowls.
god bless this meth
We're all glued to a toilet called, Earthhhh!
"If you're not real, then how come I feel this way lil' babies"
Must be sung in Linda's voice!
"My family moves around a lot."
....
"His family moves around a lot."
My favorite line of that entire brilliant episode. The VA delivery is chefs kiss
A bidet? Don’t mind if I ba-do.
"Oh hey, Marshmallow"
Hey Baby
You smell like ointment and pee!
YOU SMELL LIKE OINTMENT AND PEE!
"This is me now!"
'Hello burger children'
I don't know why this or similar lines from Mr Fishoeder crack me up, He's probably my favourite character.
Don’t feed a guy a sponge, Bobby.
I wanna try a sponge! ⚾️
“You can’t put the candy back in moms wrapper.”
We're kids, much like you my boy
Lmao just watched this and it came to mind
“I know I say this a lot, but this time I really mean it: we should put leaves in our pants.”
Linda: Both twins are evil. Their poor mother. 🤣
Totally thought you were talking about Andi & Ollie @first but then I got it.😂
“Thank you for loving me!”
"The whole world's thankin' you!"
“Kill the turkey”
Processily Cecily can process her ASS!
"Queen Latifah give me strength!"
"What? A gay raccoon can't have babies?"
Why do they call you regular sized Rudy?
Just look at me.
Your ass is grass and I'm going to mow it.
FILTH!!!
POULTRY!!
HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE I DO, LOGAN!
This is the one. It's Louise in one line
“You’re in trouble.”
-“Drink some cranberry juice.”
“No! Not urine trouble, you’re in trouble.”
"Who's miss boo boo? Is she our teacher?"
I die every time I hear it haha
Louise: Why don't you speak in words instead of your DAMN DIRTY LIES!!
BEEF CURTAINS! As Gene runs away.
“Wow, even your testicles are failures”
They're trying!
“I’m funny in the wall”
Oh my god, I gotta text Beefer Sutherland
Is it me? Is it abortions?
"20 million people die in a snow storm every week!"
"...then there wouldn't be any people."
I love Linda’s statistics
four!
Stay out of my room!
My white ass is broke - Zeke
“Sorry, ballroom’s been canceled. The teacher just waltzed right out of here. Get it? Just kidding, she died.”
"Overdone and dry! Overdone and dry!"
"Okay fine. But I'm gonna complain the whole time."
I live by these words.
“You learn something.”
I crack up. Every. Single. Time.
Not exactly a one-liner, but I like when Louise and Bob were on a field trip, and she loudly insults Mr. Frond
Then Bob replies with "Louise, don't do that... here." Implying Bob allows her to do it at home
My family of 4 often quotes Bob. "Oh my god." And "Gene..."
Linda: "... I didn't think you were gonna kidnap a guy."
Gayle: "You should always think I'm gonna kidnap a guy!"
“She’s YOUR mom… nah, she’s my mom.” - FlipsWhiteFudge
Tina: “I. Would. Rather. Die.”
Tammy: “THEN YOU WILL DIEEEE!!!!”
The fire department will fix this! Ehh
“BYE! STAY OUTTA MY ROOM!”
Gene: "My face is wrong?"
all batteries die, but this one truly lived!!!!
"Don't be such a boob punch"
I’ve been honest with these two since the day gene got fat
I remember the ice cream sandwich that did it!
"Did we just marry Satan?"
“Where do you shop?!”
Sorry we're late, Bob had diarrhea.!
When they’re trying frond for eating ambrose’ yogurt and asking how he ate it without the spoon Ambrose goes “LIKE A DIRTY FROG” and it always gets me
Oh, my God, I can slap!
[Exasperated Bob] Gene !
“How come everyone wants to eat food from the toilet all of a sudden”
Either "Its a race war!" or "It's his office"
They'll finger anything with a pulse!
“I’m soo sick of Tony… and his dancing”
“I mean I wouldn’t run for office on that platform.”
“Shhhhh….shut your mouuutthhh. It’s art crawl.”
"I don't have dough to fry, I get to fry dough...this is a dream job!"
"What can he do?"
"It has yet to be seen, he's a mass of potential"
Almost dying is the best part of living! It’s called almost-live-dying.
My life is worse than anyone else’s and yes I’m including starving children so don’t ask! Gene Belcher
“Bob can’t fit in the wall; he’s overweight!”
They should serve a meal on that flight
"Sick idiot!" ~ after Bob might've tried crack while driving a taxi
No, thanks. I’ve seen your life and I’m not impressed.
“Get ready for your favorite fruity boy, gene!” 🍇
Bones that just want to be left alones
Whatever works, Teddy, don’t judge!
Never ask a dork to judge a dork contest.
Nat Kinkle. As I live and breathe.
I'm no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else.
Your ass is grass and im gonna mow it
"Dear God this is Tina from school. "
My little maybe baby
Toot toot, here comes books!
Anything Gene says
Like New York in the 90’s
Go! Run with the other men!
Second favorite is: I need to reoderize, I stink!
Dad are you doing something different with your butt?
Sister, have you been huffing glue?
i have no memory of what episode it’s in but gene says it to tina and the way he says it caught me off guard and literally made my shoot my drink out of my nose
“You’re my baby, I’m your mommy.” Repeatedly said to my child
“Why? It’s not going anywhere.”
"Meat thermometer? What, are you new here?"
There's a ghost in this basement. You need to catch it, and get rid of it.
Gene, reverently: Like Salmon!
It’s-a me, Distracta-his-friendso Lorenzo! Whyyyy do I disrupt everything??
I’ve got a ham in the oven
"I put my food in the toilet the way God intended!"
Mr. Fischoeder choking
Bob: He can't die in here!
Gene: Let's move him outside.
Gene's line cracks me up
The shaman said none of us are real!!!
Aww go play ping pong with your ding dong!
Peace on earth, slut-peddler!
Is antichrist hyphenated? Ughghh, no, it's one word.
“Only strippers shave above the knee, the good ones anyway”
“what the cuss word!!!”
“no matter what i say, stop me when ive had 16”
i say it to my husband CONSTANTLY
You’re my angel..dust. Wait that’s a drug.
Hey marshmallow
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Old but gold:
"...I know what that spells. Ass. Mom, ass!"
"Why'd you waste time telling me about the sandwhich story"
"For context!"
(Or if that doesnt count:)
"And that's what makes it hiphop!"
He is married to my best friend
AWH, SICK!!!!
A lion, a witch, or a wardrobe!
It’s a book… by Salman Rushdie
Yeah, I just looked it up, it’s by Salman Rushdie
"I know how everyone is going to die."
OPEN YOUR EARS!!! -Edith, Paraders of the Lost Float
This is me now!
when louise is mocking tinas breath and tina dead pan is like “not if you like fish” gets me everytime
YOU'RE OVERDONE AND DRY
“Your tone says there’s good news but your body says there are no good news” -Louise
Shh shh shh. Shut your mouth. It’s art crawl.
Or
I’m bare-backin’ a shark!
“Sorry, I have detention deficit disorder”
Bob: I guess I'm a pimp now Louise You're going to need a bigger hat.
You are judged from the day you’re born to the day you die !
I smell fear on you.
‘Hey there daytime whiskey’
That makes me feel like I want to pinch you in the eye
"Gene jacket!!!"
Really random but I loved:
"Hmmmm...What could it be-eeeeeans?"
When Linda was talking to Bob about Louise and his garden. Or something.
“It also says no trash on the beach Tammy, sooo what are we gonna do here?”